32 years old and diagnosed yesterday - so scared but trying to be positive!

Hi everyone. I’ve been reading this forum over the last day or so and some of the things I read have helped so I thought I would post myself as having a bit of a rough old time at the minute!

 

I’m 32 with no children and was diganosed with breast cancer yesterday. Feel like my whole life has just fallen apart. I had a lump for a year and went to see two drs last year and was told by both that it was nothing to worry about so I left it. Then this year I noticed that it felt a bit bigger and had changed shape and so i went back to drs. Saw a different one and she referred me immediately and the rest is history!

 

All I know at the moment is that its a grade 2, no evidence from scans that it is in my lymph nodes although no guarantees until they have tested them. Apparently women my age tend to have a grade 3 so something positive there I suppose! I am totally terrified that it may have been there for a year  - consultant says she would expect it to be bigger if it had but says we will never know really.

 

Am waiting on more test result to find out if its hormone positive etc. but most likely treatment will be chemo and surgery just don’t know which way round.

 

I’m so scared. I’m alternating between trying to be positive and breaking down in tears. I feel like my life has totally changed and everything I thought it would be has gone. I keep having visions of myself on my death bed. I think that I will never have another relationship again and will never have children (if i live that long!). I’m terrified of chemo and how ill I’m going to be.

 

I’m terrifed its spread to other parts of my body. I keep reading how younger women have a worse prognosis and everything I read is so negative. People keep telling me ‘my aunt, mum etc. had breast cancer is she is fine now’ but then I think yes but she is in her 40s or 50s and I feel like I’m doomed because I’m younger.

 

I’m also peed off as I am a runner and very fit and was doing two half marathons this year! Guess I will just have to stand on the side lines and be bag lady instead!!

 

I’ve just spoken to the  BCC someone like me service who are setting me up with a volunteer my age as I need to speak to someone in a similar situation to me.

 

But if anyone could offer me anything right now - how they are doing, if you went through chemo how did you find it, how did you cope, have you come out the other side - anything at all I would really appreciate it.

 

Thank you in advance xx

Hi northern181 and welcome to the BCC forums where I am sure you will be able to share support and experiences with your fellow users

I see you have contacted our someone like me service, here’s a BCC link to further support and information specifically aimed at younger women which you may find helpful:

breastcancercare.org.uk/younger-women

Take care
Lucy BCC

Hi northern181,

I could close my eyes and be exactly back where you are - which was nearly 2 years ago for me. September 27, 2012, aged 32, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. Invasive ductal carcinoma, grade 2, with spread to lymph nodes. Fast forward 22 months and here I am, out the other side of treatment.

I’m still the same old me really, minus 1 boob and much shorter hair, but generally I’m still me :slight_smile:

I found it all so daunting to begin with - chemo terrified the heebie jeebies out of me! I just couldn’t imagine how I would get through all the treatment. The best piece of advice, given by my GP the day after my diagnosis was to take each day as it comes. Break it down into bite size chunks and don’t look too far ahead. Trust me, it worked. I got my head down and got stuck into treatment. I had chemo first, followed by mastectomy, followed by radiotherapy. I am also on tamoxifen and shortly to start zoladex (I’m still having periods and they want to shut my ovaries down to reduce oestrogen). Hot flushes at 34! Joyful!

I think we all feel the fear when we’re first diagnosed that it’s spread - I was convinced it was everywhere. My scans were clear at diagnosis though. Don’t get me wrong, we still have scares along the way - I am actually back in the “waiting room” at the moment waiting for results of a bone scan I had on Wednesday this week. Have had rib pain on and off for a while now so they are checking it out.

Please feel free to ask any questions or share any concerns you have. Trust me, I’ve been there and felt it and know how it feels to have the rug pulled out from under you at just 32. My friends are all having babies - I’m obviously happy for them but feel it may never happen for me. So instead I got a puppy at the end of active treatment - he’s my baby and I take him everywhere!

Good luck with the start of your treatment, you’ll cope with it just fine.

Take care,

K xx

Hi - thank you so much for your reply. Its really good to hear from someone who has been through it and come out the other side. I had a long conversation with a volunteer today who was great and helped me feel a bit more positive but it comes in fits and starts. I’m still struggling with everything right now.

 

I hope the results of your scan are ok. Please let me know how it goes xx

Hi,

It’s completely understandable to be struggling with it all right now - don’t be hard on yourself about it, just appreciate you’re going through a whole raft of emotions. You’ll get to grips with it, but will have up days and down days. Just be assured that is completely normal.

Thanks, I will let you know. The waiting never gets any easier!

Take care,

K xx

Hi northern 181,  i totally agree with kamo - take each day as it comes.  I am 28 & was dx 23rd jan this year.  Felt exactly the same as you - everything out of control,shock,death,how did this happen?  That first night & the next day me & my husband just went around telling & phoning family - that was the hardest part & i just thought im never gona stop crying!  But then with all the appointments & surgery we had to get through we just decided to keep our heads down,keep positive & crack on with it all.

Mine was invasive ductal grade 3 with one lymph node involved.  Her2 & ER positive.  I had a lumpectomy & lymph nodes removed.  Have just finished 6 rounds of chemo.  Am on herceptin injections for a year.  Having radio for 4 weeks in a few wks time.  Then i will be on tamoxifen for 5 - 10 years.  I also went on zoladex injections during chemo to protect overies.  Our little girl was 18 months old when i was dx and wanted the chance to have another baby in the future.

I hope the more you find out about your treatment the better you will feel xxx

Worry yes but not too hard, I had grade 3 did the chemo thing and still continued at the gym for the first 3 chemo’s sencond 3 I was not quite up to the gym but did continue long walks, and was back in the gym not long after chemo finished (slowly at first) go into this with a fighting attitude and never think of not living a long healthy life. I finished chemo in Feb and I’m back to normal now even though I have had 2 surgeries and another to come. Breast cancer is a year of hospital visits and people feeling sorry for you stay positive. You will get through it!!!

Hi there I know how you are feeling, I am only 35 and was diagnosed in feb so you are not the only one who is young who has breast cancer. def use the someone like me phone call it is fantastic as i use it and the volunteer i speak to has been there and done it xx

Hello, I haven’t been on here in along time but I have come on to ask something myself and saw your post and I had to reply to you. I also was 32 when I was diagnosed in February 2012 no children. I was grade 3 and had spread to many lymph nodes, I felt like a ticking bomb for ages and thought it was the end of my life possibly literally! But 18 months later and I don’t even think about it everyday now, I feel fantastic apart from I get more tired than previously but hey I am alive. I just had to tell you this because I know when I was diagnosed I just wanted to hear of people similar age to me doing well and beating this!! You can do the same Hun, it will be difficult but take each day at a time and keep thinking to yourself things will only get better. I wish you all the best with your upcoming results, anything you wish to ask me please do :slight_smile: x

Hi everyone how are you all doing now. I got my grade 3 invasive ductal carcinoma diagnosis today and I think I’m still in shock tbh. I have 2 children 7years & 11months. I’m more scared for them right now than I am myself x x

You poor thing, it’s terrifying isn’t it, but have found these forums help, as someone always there that has been thru the same or similar. I had a mastectomy 8 weeks ago and reconstruction at same time and thought it would be horrifying but life has already gone back to normal and putting it behind me. Talk to people, use the support available and when u feel alone come on the website, we will all help u thru. Good luck Hun.

Hi Northern,

I’m 32 and was diagnosed with triple negative BC a few weeks ago. Had my first of six chemo sessions last Friday (hospital was amazingly quick at sorting it out) – felt rough over the weekend but much better now, just tired. I’ll be having surgery after my chemo is finished. My oncologist told me that because of my age I should respond much better to chemo that someone older, so don’t believe all the negative things you’ve read!

All the best x

We should join a 32 year olds have BC club.
I was diagnosed 3 weeks ago with grade 3 and lymph node spread. One day a little lump appeared, today a 9.5cm tumour. I’m beginning to think I am still numb. I’ve not really cried. Well the side effects of FEC-T chemo have brought tears.
Only you know what you are feeling. I think it’s important to express what you feel also. It’s not a weakness to be angry sad etc. I’ve used humour a lot which upsets my mum. People keep telling me how cool I’m being. My medical team have a plan. And a contingency plan. I cope well knowing there is a plan in place. I don’t have children and now worry I won’t be able to.
I cut my hair short. Used the opportunity to try a new look. My work colleagues paid for my eyebrow tattoos and eyeliner for if/when they fall out. I have a good support network.
I believe a positive attitude will aid recovery. Also hearing about someone else’s 50 year old aunt who had bc won’t help you. Each cancer experience is as individual as each person going through it.
I doubt I have any words of wisdom. I don’t think I offer any valuable advice but I can share my experience and listen/chat to you or anyone else. I’ve been reading these forums all day. I’ve learnt a lot already!
I wish you all a speedy recovery x