37 year old mum of two boys devastated by diagnosis..

Hi everyone,


I felt a lump in my breast on New Years Eve, I put it to the back of my mind until 2nd January and attended an appointment that day. My Doctor advised me after examination to wait for my next period and then come back if lump was still there. I really felt uneasy with this as a just knew the lump was something wrong… I was told she would refer me but this would take two weeks, in a panic a asked for a private appointment and was seen that evening. At my appointment my consultant advised me he was 75% sure the lump was not sinister but would see me on the following Monday. I was relieved somewhat but could feel a burning in my chest which was niggleing me. At my appointment at the hospital on the Monday I had the triple test and was told unfortunately the lump on the ultrasound appeared to be cancerous. I was devastated and shocked and extremely scared. I returned home and was told to come back on Wednesday for results of biopsy. I was told the cells are cancer and cannot remember much more apart from the ultrasound did not show anything in my lymph nodes but this is only 60% accurate. I was told my course of treatment will be an operation to remove my lump and two nodes to check. This is due in two weeks, is this the normal time to wait from biopsy? My feelings today have been devastation, fear, panic, guilt for my two boys. I am scared about treatments and also not being strong enough to cope. I realise these feelings may be normal but this does not stop my fear in the pit of my stomach. I know I need to be stronger and would appreciate any advice from anyone going through something similar as although my family and friends are being great I do feel isolated. Thanks for any replies xxx


Hello. Loulou. I am in a similar place to you. And also very scared. I am mum to five young children. I was diagnosed with a grade 3 tumour its 17mm so only small. I am going in tomorrow to have my lump and some lymph nodes removed. I went to docs was referred which took 2weeks, biopsy results took one week which was the week before christmas. And bout 3 weeks till my op date qhich is tomoz. I know it all seems ages. Hope this helps.
Sending you big hugs xx

Hi loulou1262

Welcome to the BCC forum.  We have a publication called “Talking with your children” which you may find helpful.  I have attached a link for you:


As well as the support from fellow members on this forum you might also find it helpful to talk to someone on our Helpline for information and support.  The opening times are 9-5 on weekdays and 10-2 on Saturdays.  The number is 0808 800 6000

Very best wishes


BCC Moderator

Hi. My children are 14, 12, 9,7 and 5. The two older ones know and understand more. The 3 younger ones I told them I have a bad lump that needs to be taken out then I will need strong medicine to make sure it’s all gone. I also read the book mummys lump to them which explains it in a lovely way. Its great on here knowing you’re not alone.
Take care xx

Hi loulou I couldn’t not reply when I read your post. I found my lump days before my 40th birthday last September, I have two girls 11 and 12. I can really understand how scared and devastated you are, as I’m sure many others on here can too.  The waiting is the worst thing, waiting for results, waiting for ops, waiting for appointments. 

I’m nearly 4 months on now, lumpectomy followed by another little op to clear margins, and now nearly half way through my chemo and a bit of radiotherapy to look forward to after.  It’s scary now, but you will start to put things into perspective and your mind will settle in time, and you will soon start to feel much more in control. 

We were just really honest with our girls. We told them that I  had a lump, it was cancer, and that I’d be having an operation and strong drugs to make sure it didn’t come back. It was the hardest thing having to tell them but such a relief when we did. They had a sense that something was wrong but took the news well after the obvious questions. If your boys are seeing you upset they might feel relieved to know what it is that is making mummy so sad. We’ve also promised our girls that we will tell them everything as it happens and they can ask us anything rather than sat worrying. They hardly ask anything, but I think that’s because they trust that we tell them the truth. 

You are strong enough to deal with this. You will find some amazing strength from somewhere you didn’t know existed! Your kids will keep you busy and focused, and you will laugh and smile again. You hang in there, we are all behind you.

Lots of love XxxXxx

Hi loulou
As everyone said already its the waiting thats the worst…waiting for tests, waiting for results, waiting for your op and then waiting for your treatment plan…once you have all these details you will be fine. I found out in october that I had grade 2 idc I was told all along that I would probably need mastectomy, chemo, radiotherapy and tamoxifen possibly herceptin depending on the results. I had my mastectomy 3 weeks after diagnosis and 3 lymph nodes removed for biopsy, I waited a week and a half for the results that were better than expected…it hadnt spread to my lymph nodes, ididnt need chemotherapy or herceptin so I started tamoxifen tablets straight away and 3 weeks later had 15 sessions of radiotherapy!
I have 4 young children 3 boys 2, 5 and 9 years and a daughter 12 years…I told my daughter the truth as I didnt want her finding out any details from others and thinking that id lied to her…she was devasted but once I explained everything properly she calmed down and coped amazingly! My 2 older boys I told them I had a nasty lump that was making me poorly so I had to have a booby taken away to make me better…I assured them I would get better and they were fine.

your feelings are perfectly normal and as time goes on you will feel yourself getting stronger, you will still have wobbly days but there will be more good days :slight_smile:
Hope all goes ok with your op ((((hugs))))

Hi,you must be feeling awful at moment. Rest assured everything is much quicker as you went private. I had 4 week wait from visit to GP to full diagnosis,then about 3 weeks to op. I also gad lump removed in therapeutic mammoplasty,with 2 nodes removed. All went well and nodes clear,and all cancer removed. There is no urgent hurry,so try to relax. X

Hi all am a mothet of three right now amvery scared and frastuated lots going through my mind and totaly confused. I found a lump two months ago with a shock i hoped it will go but it never did have gone to my doctor and he has reffered me to the breast clinic but guilty is killing me as am scared the out come i dont know if i can handle this i have no pain or any other symptoms but the freling of it am already sick please advise .

Hi M,welcome to the forum .Please be re- assured that the vast majority of breast lumps are not sinister.When is your appointment ? The waiting is horrible but hopefully you will soon be able to get some answers and probably breathe a big sigh of relief .Jill.xx

Hi Makula,
It is always horrible waiting for appointments & the mind does go into overdrive, but thankfully, you’ve been to your dr & have been referred.
The breast clinic will get to the bottom of it for you, thankfully, there are many other reasons for breast changes & mostly it turns out Not to be bc.
There is nothing to feel guilty about, you have done what you need to & try not to panic about it. It can help in coping with the wait to carry on as normal & avoid any general googling as this makes anxiety a whole lot worse.
Do go along to the ‘have I got breast cancer, board, ‘waiting for appointments…’ thread, where you’ll get support from others where you are now.
Here’s the link:
ann c

Thank so much for this great support just because it’s not easy to take your mind of I will keep you posted bless

Hi hun I can’t sleep knowing that I have a lump right there it’s just eating me up badly the referral was done on Thursday so am just waiting for the appointment. Is the thinking of it especially when I look at my kids and trying to show a brave face it’s horrible feeling but I really do appreciate the great support am getting here bless will keep you posted .

Hi hun thank you so much for these kind words trust me a blessed to be on this group the great support am getting already making me think positive am very scared at the moment and truly am on internet non stop reading things being a mum of three young ones it’s like he’ll knowing something might not be right . Am really greatful with the support am receiving thank you will.keep you posted .