42 and Diagnosed yesterday


I am 42 and was diagnosed yesterday with invasive ductal carcinoma and invasive lobular carcinoma. Oestrogen and progesterone receptors. I think the doc said it was small, about 1cm and I think he said it’s early and easy to treat. My head is in a spin. Have told my children and close family. Just wondering if anyone has had a similar diagnosis? My next step is MRI on Tuesday and then a treatment plan (I think). I know the doctor is drip feeding me information so as to not overwhelm me, hopefully it will be a bit easier when I know more after MRI!? Anyway, just wanted to say hello. I have joined the club no one wants to be part of. I have found the posts here very helpful over the past 2 weeks waiting for biopsy results.


Welcome to the forum Clare81. As you said, it’s not a club any of us wanted to join. But you will get a lot of support and advice here. I am sorry you have been diagnosed. Mine was IDC too and small, caught early. I am at the end of my treatment now and even though I I dreaded everything you have to go through, I got there and the time went very quick. Once you have your MRI and your plan you will feel a lot calmer and will know what you have to do. I worried more about telling my family and friends, but you need their support more now at this time. I wish you all the very best for your results and your treatment. Hugs xx


Hi Claire

I am 43 and was diagnosed in September with a small invasive cancer. Er/pr positive and Her2 negative. I had MRI too which showed possibly slightly larger. I then had lumpectomy and SNB on Halloween and thankfully got results that it hadn’t spread and they got clear margins. Feel v lucky…although now fretting about whether I should push for mastectomy. Told my risk is low and maybe this is a normal reaction but every stage brings mixed emotions I think. It sounds like you are in good hands and brilliant that you caught this early. It will be ok and I can say that the op I had was straightforward. Bit of swelling and bruising after but 2 weeks on I am getting much better and getting on with life as best I can and tidying up after kids again! Good luck xxx


:heart:sorry you find yourself here, do use Breast Cancer Now for everything that we can support or help with :heart: the forum users will always reach out if there is anything you want to ask or share :heart: do book your look good feel better through your local MacMillan when and if you want to, you are entitled to one :heart: be kind to yourself and take it one day at a time and do everything your own way :heart: we’ve got you :two_women_holding_hands: so keep reaching out as much or as little as you need :heart::two_hearts::two_hearts::sparkles::sparkles:Shi xx

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Tessa11, shi and blue80,

Thank you so much for your replies. You all sound so brave. Its so scary trying to get my head around everything and realizing that I cannot get away from this, it’s going to be my life for the foreseeable. The community on here is so supportive and although you wouldn’t wish this on anyone , it is nice to know I am not alone. I’m getting pains everywhere today, back, joints etc. letting my mind run away and think it’s spreading to the bones. :dizzy_face:. Does the MRI show if it has spread or is it when they do the SNB? Sorry I’m clueless at the moment. I think he said they checked 1 node it was clear. Need to call my BC nurse tomorrow and just clarify a few things. Thanks for the support ladies, you are all amazing. Xx


:heart:Claire81, it is a lot to absorb and you’ll be having to make choice and decisions and a treatment plan will be in place and every will be happening at lightning speed and you probably feel like your in a spin cycle of a washer and want to jump out. Take it a day at a time, step by step, ask away on here and everyone will help with tips and tricks, let us know your treatment plan and everyone will help advise on things to get and do :heart: take it a treatment at a time, do remember your treatments will be tailored specifically to you, it’s not a one size fits all package of treatments :heart: your team have seen it all before and know what to do :heart: and most of all be kind to yourself because your still you and still amazing :heart: don’t let it take your joy, it’ll try but don’t let it :heart: your Breast Cancer Now invisible safety blanket is wrapped round you :two_women_holding_hands: we got you :heart::two_hearts::two_hearts::sparkles::sparkles:Shi xx


Hello again. My MRI was just of my breasts. The SNB gives you a clearer indication. I had a niggle under my ribs which they have been adamant isn’t linked…weirdly has gone last few days though?!

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Thanks Blue80, I think mine is just of my breasts too. I know, every ache and pain I would have usually ignored is sending my mind into overdrive. Had a good sleep last night and feel good this morning.

Also don’t know what to do about work. I’ve got signed off until the end of next week, when hopefully I might have treatment plan. But as I’m feeling ok I feel like maybe I should be in work. I teach kids so I feel like I wouldn’t be able to give the 100% at the moment. Its hard to know, obviously it’s very early and I’m still processing the news but I read about people going straight back to work and only taking a couple of days after surgery.

Are u still thinking of a mastectomy? I hope u are recovering well. Yes… The tidying after the kids never goes away…:upside_down_face:

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Hi @clare81,

Welcome to the forum. I’m so sorry to hear what you’re going through.

Please do have a look through the various boards and topics to find those going through similar experiences. As you will have seen, this is a very supportive place, so please do ask any questions you may have.

Please know that our nurses are here for you any time, here on the forum on the Ask our Nurses your questions or over the phone 0808 800 6000.

Sending love,

Alice :heart:


Thanks Clare. I am totally on the fence with what to do next. Had a bit of a meltdown today. Have barely shed a tear since diagnosed but had a bit of a wound issue and had to see a lovely nurse who asked me how I was feeling… the floodgates opened :see_no_evil: I genuinely have been ‘ok’ most of the time but I think I got a bit overwhelmed. So many people telling me I should consider a mastectomy as horror stories of recurrence with lumpectomy…but consultant really trying to dissuade me from that line of thinking and saying it is too drastic. I struggle to know what to do for the best. I think I need to calm down on my info gathering a little bit. Going to do genetic testing which seems logical and sensible, also arranged for some anxiety counselling through MacMillan which nurse suggested (I started blubbing on phone to volunteer just after I thought I had pulled myself together!). Think I needed a cry. Getting myself tucked up in bed now with a cup of tea and going to watch some rubbish tv and feel sorry for myself :rofl::rofl::rofl: Tomorrow is another day!! Xx


Hi blue80,

I hope you are feeling better this morning, sounds like you have been quite practical about things and just getting through it all so it’s bound to hit you at some point. Although it’s only been 4 days for me since diagnosis … Feels like 4 years :dizzy_face:. I have only shed 1 tiny tear and then pulled myself together. I think this is because I know if I let go I might not be able to stop. You have been through so much already so you have every right to have a meltdown. The counselling will be good. You are probably trying to keep it together for everyone else. I know that’s what I’m doing, showing everyone that I’m strong and doing ok so that they will be ok and not worry about me. And I mostly am ‘ok’ too, considering. I think it’s also because I’m trying not to think past today, my brain has put me in survival mode and I’m just living in the moment.
Anyway I’m rambling now, just wanted to check in, hopefully you feel good today. And hopefully you can get some good advice about next steps. I don’t know how I will handle all those big decisions etc, but that’s for another day for me.

Sending hugs and positive vibes your way. Xx

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I think you have the right mindset for managing this. It is a huge amount for us to deal with and the one day at a time approach really helps. I lost sight of that a bit this week. Maybe I needed to…but it’s not a place I want to linger too long. I have written a long list of thoughts on whether I stick with current plan or not and hope to discuss with my consultant. I’m pretty sure I know what she will say but it helps to not have it all in my head at least! Take care xxx


I’ve got the diagnosed beginning of October IDC and + oestrogen + progesterone and they said they have caught it early 20mm they are also drip feeding me. I’ve had my operation 3 weeks ago and I had a meeting on Friday and it was larger than expected 50mm :disappointed: they have cut it all out but unfortunately for me it’s gone in my lymph nodes found 1 cancerous out of 3. So now i have to have another operation to remove all my lymph nodes. I wasn’t scared and the first operation went well as it could do.

I haven’t had a MRI scan or anything to see if it’s spread. I’m preying they have caught it in time. I was a totally mess on Friday/Saturday I couldn’t believe it, but I have had a talk with myself and I can’t let my anxiety take over. I need to stay positive and hope I’m in the best hands to help me get through this tree rubble journey.

I just can’t believe there is so many people who get this. I lost my dad 10 years ago to cancer and lost my mum to COPD 2 years ago and my father in law to cancer this time last year. I wasn’t sure whether or not to tell my son who is 10 because he’s lost so many at such a young age. My husband said we have to tell him and it was the right decision for us as a family. I explain briefly what is happening to any big chances so he can understand if he see me upset.

I am scared of the future what lies ahead for me, but I need to stay positive and look after my mental health to get
me through this. I’ve excepted that it’s ok to have days where I’m upset but i have to give myself a little shake and push through it.

I am here if anyone who is in similar circumstances.

Hope everyone in here is ok.

Please let me know any tips to help me get through this, or what questions or what i should expect. Should I have an MRI scan? I’m questions now, why haven’t I had one, is this something what should of happened.
Should I go private for my treatment after my operation?


Hi lamama,

Sorry to hear you are also going through BC and that you need another operation. Its so hard to get your head around everything. Because I have lobular BC it’s harder to see on mammogram and ultrasound so they sent me for MRI which I had today. This is to make sure there’s nothing else there or that it’s not bigger than first thought. Results by end of the week, hopefully nothing new going on and then I can get my treatment plan next week. I was getting awful pains everywhere but nurse said it’s very common after diagnosis , stress related. My bloods and x-ray all clear so I guess that’s good news. I’m anxious to just get started now… Feel like I’m in limbo. Have you got a date yet for further surgery? Its hard when you have kids and Christmas is around the corner, I don’t want to ruin this Christmas for the kids so I’m hoping I’ll have surgery soon and be able to have a normalish Xmas before further treatment , whatever that might be.

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I am not private, just in the public system. They may schedule an MRI for you at some point but if they are confident they can see what’s in there they might not need to at this point. Mine was just on my breasts.

Also hard for you not having your parents around. You have had a lot of loss. Hope you are doing ok and have lots of support. Xxx

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