Hello all you wonderful warriors out there! I’ve just been diagnosed, and it came as a bit of a shock after a lifetime of disgustingly good health - with the exception of a few bits going wrong or dropping off here and there!
Is there anyone here in a similar situation? I’d love to hear your stories.
Hi Ellie. I was just 70 when I was diagnosed. It was during lockdown so getting treatment was a nightmare. But the good news is that five years on I am cancer free and living the same activity packed life as before. Cancer takes its toll and chemo is a beast that has all sorts of little surprises, but you just put your best foot forward every day and eventually the cancer journey is over. Okay I have a lopsided front but otherwise all is well and I rarely think about cancer.
I can tell by the tone of your message that you are going to be fine. Positivity is everything and not letting cancer define you. Yes treatment is time consuming as well as gruelling but you get through it because you have to. I did a lot of research so I was clued up and could work in partnership with my medical team but apart from that I tried to live life as normal. People will respond to you in the way you are handling cancer and my friends took their cue from me and used humour as well as practical support. I don’t mean this unkindly and I appreciate everybody is different but I despair of ladies who fall apart at the first hint of cancer, plunging their families into anxiety. This is so not the way to go.
You are going to do just great. All the best.
Hi @ellie2 welcome to the forum, I hope you get what you need from it. You haven’t said what your diagnosis/histology is so I thought I’d add a slightly different view to @teddy271 as I didn’t have to have chemo (most of us don’t) just a lumpectomy, 5 sessions of radiotherapy and was put on endocrine therapy for 5 years, of which I did 3, so actually the treatment was extremely doable. I was 66 at diagnosis three and a half years ago and am now 70. Still cancer free and rarely think about it on a day-to-day basis any more. Breast cancer is very treatable in the majority of cases but if you have specific questions or just need to download as you go along your own cancer path, we’re here for you.
Thank you @Tigress. I have one HER2+ lesion and two others that are suspicious and we are awaiting the histology report for those 2 . I know my treatment will be lumpectomy and chemo ( in that order) if it’s one malignancy, and chemo and likely a mastectomy ( in that order) if it’s 3. So it’s uncertain times and horrid having to wait but hey, I‘m getting the attention I need and hopefully will hear soon. Doesn’t appear to be in LN’s but will be confirmed at surgery. I hadn’t realised BC is so common and I am inspired by all the lovely ladies here who are smashing it!
Thank you for your wise words @teddy271 a lot of which resonates with me. Not looking forward to chemo or surgery but for me there is no other option so will just have to get through it to emerge the other end C free!
@teddy271 did you have a lot of side effects from the chemo?
Hi @ellie2 right, treatment for HER2+ is a bit more involved. If you haven’t already been introduced to the “HER2+ and need some buddies” thread, press this pink link and it will take you there HER2+ and need some buddies . It has become the de facto HER2+ category on the forum and the lovely @salbert who started it is one of our community champions. Definitely worth taking a look even if you want to wait for more clarity on your diagnosis first. I echo Teddy’s viewpoint that a positive attitude can make the whole experience less tricky but there are bound to be times when you need a virtual hug from those of us who have been there and out the other side (about 56,000 of us each year in the UK alone) so let us know how you’re getting on.
I was reasonably lucky and just had the usual nausea, headaches and bloating. You just feel rubbish BUT it is all doable and before you know it you are out the other side and on an upward trajectory. Unless you include a temporary addiction to Haribos (can’t look at them now) and being glued to Say Yes to the Dress on daytime television. Food tastes rubbish, faffing around with wigs is irritating and expensive and I had a sense of humour failure when my toenails fell out, but…
I struggled most with the post treatment drugs like Letrozole the side effects of which were so debilitating I abandoned them after a year
Oh bless. 
. I found this last few weeks I’ve become addicted to a nice red wine and crisp! And yes to TV-thank goodness for Nerflix, Prime etc!
Thanks. Will take a look.
It’s really hard. I live alone and sometimes I feel it’s a blessing and others a curse! 
. One minute I am positive and accepting of my situation, then I crash. But seems a lot of people report being on an emotional roller coaster so guess it’s par for the course. I’ll get there in the end. Just eager to get started.
Once your treatment is under way I can promise it gets easier. Chemo has a rhythm so you will get in the programme and count off the treatments. Apart from feeling rubbish, you will be very busy with all sorts of hospital appointments so the time does fly by. I found it helpful to be prepared and had a chemo bag permanently packed: Fleecy blanket to go over knees, slippers for comfort, smoothie flask, fruit sweets, AirPods as I didn’t have the concentration for reading, lip salve, hand cream - hospitals dry your skin. They do feed you but I took my own food.
One last point on the positivity front: I wore loose comfortable clothes as your stomach swells but I always went in with full makeup and hair done. If people are going to have to sit and look at me for hours the least I can do is not scare the horses!
I live alone too as many of us older ladies seem to. I hope you have some friends and family around for support, both emotional and practical. For example, getting job lots of meals prepared and into the freezer for days when you can’t face cooking and taking you out for a walk and a coffee (other drinks are available!) when you feel like some fresh air.
I don’t know if you have a Maggie’s Centre near you (you can find out here https://www.maggies.org/our-centres/) but, if you do, there is a raft of support to be found there and worth popping in for a drink and a chat to find out how they can help.
If you ever feel like a chat, to download or ask a question, call the BCNow nurses on 0808 800 6000 as they really know their stuff, don’t rush you and can really make you feel heard which isn’t always something those of us who live alone always experience. It is overwhelming to start with but once active treatment starts you can start ticking off the days to wellness which makes you feel more in control.
@teddy271 thank you for your reply . Really helpful, and great tips for the chemo bag! Funnily enough, I just bought some new baggy harem pants as I wear them a lot for comfort. But now thinking that I should return the jeans bought at the same time and re-purchase them after chemo!
@Tigress thank you for your helpful response. My son and I daughter both have young families and live some distance away from, me although my daughter wants me to stay with her during chemo. I’m not sure that’s a solution as one get used to their own space, but we are going to take it one day at a time.
With regards to friends popping in, at times like this that you learn who your real friends are. Over the last four weeks since I was first told the news, I am surprised at how few of my so called ‘friends’ have checked in with me and offered support. I’ve found that really quite disappointing and hurtful as I’m a nurturer by nature, (retired nurse), and have always been there for them in their times of need. Anyone else had this experience?
@teddy271 @Tigress its good hear that it gets easier when treatment starts.
Meanwhile I will continue to ‘eat the elephant in bite size prices’ as they say!
Yes, you do find out fairly quickly on whom you can rely. I didn’t get ghosted as much as some but from many of those who were reasonably supportive, I did get quite a few stories of people they’d known who had died of cancer - on digging, most were before the raft of treatments that are now available but it wasn’t helpful at the time!
Just on the point about your daughter wanting to stay - I supported my mother when she was going through a difficult health crisis (not cancer) although she was initially resistant, however I never felt I’d done enough nor what I did was done well enough and I still feel guilt for it even though she is no longer with us. You absolutely must put your own needs first during treatment but I do understand your daughter’s need to help her Mum during this challenge, it stays with you even once it’s over. I hope you can find a workable solution.
Hi. I was diagnosed in May 2024. Like you disgustingly good health. In fact the radiographers said I was the fittest ( but not the slimest) person they had in for treatment. Left breast had three areas of cancer and I certainly didn’t see or feel them. I’m 78 next week. Doc said definitely a mastectomy and also found 22 lymph nodes. It was stage 2. I’m on hormone therapy and Ibandronic acid now. I had a good journey with no complications. I had 15 adjuvant radiography sessions. These sessions went well but I did feel quite lethargic in the following 2-3 months. I had a clear mammogram last year and my Border Collie continues to act as my personal trainer to get me fit again. I think just caught in time though!! I’m told I no longer have breast cancer. Thanks to my dog jumping on my chest in bed and making me check a bit more seriously and visit the doc.
@nell3 what a great result! Thanks for sharing. X
Hello @ellie2 and thanks for your kind words @Tigress Just to reiterate what Tigress says, HER2+ treatment can be a long haul so please do come on over to HER2+ and need some buddies if you want to join the pack. We are a super friendly bunch made up of women just starting out through to those who have finished treatment and are there to support and encourage others. This community is invaluable and wonderful. In fact, I remember @teddy271 being one of the first women to answer me back in 2023 when my world was turned upside down. Thanks again for being there when it counted.
Hello I was diagnosed with DCIS in Jan last year I had 2 lumpectomies (WLE ‘s) but as they could not find clear margins that were cancer free I was recommended for a mastectomy
Because my cancer was not deemed to be invasive I did have to wait about 12 weeks until June for the operation (mastectomy and diet flap reconstruction) However I received excellent treatment and recovered well
I did not need chemotherapy or radiotherapy but have to take tamoxifen for five years
Just to add to my last post although the surgeries were challenging at the time I was able to move on and have no further appointments but open access to the breast clinic and oncologist via the breast. Care nurses in case of any problems TBH the past year is now a bit of a blur but that is probably a good thing, and I am grateful for the skills of the breast surgeons and the plastic surgeons
I am 75 and apart from some side effects from tamoxifen feel quite well