A bit scared

Dear all, Am a newbie here so please be gentle!

Just wanted to share really as am feeling a bit anxious, although, I must admit reading your different stories etc does make me feel more positive.

I discovered a lump a couple of months ago, had mamo, u/s, fine needle etc as they thought it was a cyst. (a complex cyst) went back six weeks later and was no change. consultant said would rather take whole lump out rather than core biopsy. He said there were calcifications? and other fibrous tissue which he was unsure of. I recovered well from surgery and was doing fine, until now! I go for my results this week and am starting to get really scared, I don’t really want to go. I know that sounds stupid but just want to bury my head in the sand! Sorry for rambling and as I say, you all sound so positive and friendly - I felt I could come here just to have a rant!

Love,

Debs

Hi Debs,

Sorry you’ve had to join us here but you’ve come to the right place as you’ll get a warm welcome and lots of support. Have you checked out all the information sheets? There’s a lot of really useful information there to help you understand it all.

I remember dreading the results meeting before my dx but in the end I realised that one way or another you just have to know. It’s the not knowing that’s the hardest bit - I always felt like I was in some kind of limbo land. Once I got the results and a plan of action was in place, even though I was scared about what it all meant, it was good to know that something was now being done about it.

Is it possible to take someone with you to the meeting to hold your hand? I really couldn’t have got through it without my husband there to help and he remembered to ask all the questions I forgot about too.

Remember that fear of the unknown is the hardest bit to deal with and that we’ll support you through it, whatever the results turn out to be.

I hope you get good news - let us know how you get on and don’t be shy of asking questions! :slight_smile:

Nymeria xx

Hi Debs - this is absolutely a good place to come and share your nerves! Waiting is horrible - I’m sure you’ve read us saying it time and again - it is def. the worst part of the whole process. I hope very much that there is nothing particularly sinister lurking in your biopsy results, but of course you are scared… anyone would be. No real advice for you on getting through this… just a promise that you WILL get there - the time will pass, and you will find out what you are facing soon - and then you know what you need to be doing, or whether, indeed, you can breathe an enormous sigh of relief and go for a stiff drink or five…

Big hugs in the meantime, please let us know how you get on

Sophie xxx

Hi Debs

Good luck with your results, this waiting’s a bitch, isn’t it. I’m in a similar boat even though I know already that mine IS cancer (as I had a core biopsy beforehand) but there are a good few things that it could be that AREN’T cancer. Fingers crossed for you.

CM
x

Thanks Choccie muffin,

Sorry to hear your news, I hope everything goes well for you (as well as it can anyway!). My results are on Thursday, so will let you know.

Thanks again.

Debsxx

Hi Nymeria and Sophie,

You may get this message twice as am not sure the first one went through so apologies (such a newbie!!)

Just wanted to say, thanks for your lovely comments - everyone seems so supportive on this site and extremely positive which is lovely.

My OH will be coming with me to my appt (part of me would rather go on my own as I hate a fuss!!)

I am generally OK until I start thinking too much about our children and how this may affect them. But as you both say this waiting lark is awful and I’m sure that once I know what I’m dealing with then I’ll just get on with it as best I can. And I know I can come here if I need to let off steam!!

Sophie, I’m sure some wine will be consumed whatever the outcome!!

Thanks again and wishing everyone well and lots of love

Debs.xx

Hi Debs,

I am also in the waiting group, although i now know that mine is bc. I would fully agree that not knowing is somehow worse than knowing. Although I am pretty scared if I allow myself to be, it helps me to keep my mind occupied so that it can’t play “what if.” (Needless to say so far most of the what if scenarios my subconscious can dream up are way worse than the reality of my current situation (wle, first lymph node to test, radiotherapy and hormone therapy to block any recurrence).

With any luck it is nothing and even if you did have something that needed treating, it would be far better that they did so than that you left it untreated. The treatment is not the best ever but it is relatively short-term discomfort for a long-term gain.

Best of luck for your results and here’s hoping you don’t need any treatment. If you do, everyone on here is very supportive and encouraging and will help in any way they can.

Fingers crossed for you xx

PS: Choccy Muffin, good luck with your results. Isn’t it funny how other people’s results and ops seem to come round fast but your own results/ops etc seem to take for ever to come around?! Will be thinking about you on Thursday xx

I get mine tomorrow, it’s Debs who has to wait till Thursday.

I’m booked for a loooooong walk with OH’s dog tomorrow to give myself something else to think about.

Fingers and everything crossed for your results tomorrow, Choccie.
Have a good walk with the dog, and try not to think too much about anything else.
Hugs,
Heather.xx

Hi debs,
As others have said, the waiting really is the worst part, I’m sure whatever the outcome it will just be a relief to know what it is !

I really worried about how my boys would be affected by my dx (even though they’re surly teens), but they’ve been fine, helpful and supportive, (hmm, they might have been abducted by aliens!) children seem to adapt really well, tell them as much as they need to know - depending on ages.

Fingers crossed for you on Thursday x

Cm - fingers crossed for you tomorrow x

Hello Everyone,

Just wanted to update, I had good news yesterday. The consultant told me he was 99% sure I was OK. he said what they removed was benign, however as my files were lost, he needed to make sure what was removed was the right lump?! I reckon that’s pretty good odds though so am not going to worry. I just wanted to come on here to say that I have nothing but admiration for each any every one of you that is going through this journey. I hope you are all well and staying positive.

loads of love

Debs.xxx

Debs

This is great news and you must be so relieved. It is nice to hear some good news.

Janette

Debs, I’m delighted for you, and thank you for posting your good news.

Meanwhile I’m STILL waiting for my most recent results…