A poem I wrote Brave Face

Brave Face:

A poem written by Hilary Platt, Easter Sunday 2025. This was my first ever poem having never written a poem since school and I’m now 60. It came to me in under 20 minutes whilst pondering the recent lumpectomy and the result that it hadn’t been enough and now needed mastectomy. I’ve been an expert at ‘ the brave face’ since childhood but have needed it a lot more lately. I hope it may help others to accept that it’s normal and it’s hard. But sometimes being honest with others and opening up can be the best way forward.

I have a brave face

but nobody knows

I keep it so safe

but sometimes it shows

I have a brave face

I need for myself

I keep it well hidden

in my inner self

I don’t like to use it but

I know that it’s wrong

to put all my cares out

like words to a song

I keep my brave face

to mask all my fears

to hide from the truth

and to cover the tears

I save it for best

Now that isn’t true

I save it for worst

When my soul is askew

I like my brave face

with it’s wrinkles and all

been with me forever

through pain large and small

I think no one sees

that brave face of mine

despite that it’s with me

most of the time

I love my brave face

it’s creases and lines

it’s me on the inside

the truth of my time

I share my brave face

for others to see

I wish that they knew

it just isn’t me

I don’t need my brave face

As I age and renew

it can wait on the shelf

my fears are for you

I’ll keep my brave face

it’s not needed somehow

it can be with my heart

that is flourishing now

I’ve seen your brave face

and believe me it’s true

you can put it away

and let you be You

🩷

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Beautiful and inspirational :heart:Shi xx

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Welcome to the forum and love your poem !

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So beautiful - thank you for sharing xxx

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I so resonate with this on so many levels, beautifully written, thank you for sharing

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Brilliant,:ok_hand: I think you’ve summed up exactly how I feel. I’ve been putting that brace face on for months. X

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Hello @hjp64
I loved your poem. I think it says what many of us feel.
I love the fact that you’ve taken what is happening to you and have used it to write poetry for the first time since school. You never know - this may be the start of writing regularly from now on. I know my own diagnosis has inspired me to do things I had given up doing, try new ones I might not have considered before and catch up with friends that distance had kept us apart.
You mention that you wrote your poem having heard that you now need a mastectomy as the lumpectomy wasn’t enough. I had a double mastectomy back in November. I just want to reassure you that the surgery was in fact the easiest bit of my treatment so far and isn’t nearly as bad as I had built it up in my mind to be. I didn’t have any reconstruction and don’t intend to and I love my new flat chest. If you have worries about it please feel free to message me and I’m happy to talk to you.
Wishing you all the best. Please keep writing your poetry.
Xxx

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Oh my goodness! @jayesse

I’ve never posted anything so personal in my life but it felt right to share it after encouragement from my recently reconnected sister.

Your words have made me feel so happy.
All the feedback on here has given me an enormous boost.

I had my mastectomy with implant on Tuesday this week.

I have felt so supported by the staff and all the resources on here and the leaflets from BCN in the hospital. I have tried to access every resource I could to help me as I have struggled over many years and have learned what helps me in times of stress.

However !! I did not expect the pain from this to be less than the pain from my wide local excision which I found pretty horrendous and scary. I also didn’t expect the emotional fallout this time to be much greater than the last. You just can’t predict these things can you?

Posting the poem was my attempt to take a little control over things and to share the emotions as suggested in my poem itself.
From a very dark day yesterday to how I feel now after taking that step is unbelievable and I thank you so much for your feedback which is one of the nicest things a ‘stranger’ has ever said to me. You have shone a bright light on a dark night for me and I am very grateful because I know I will sleep better tonight. Thank you so much.

I would love to be in touch even though my op is over if that’s ok ?

I am still early in the process and taking all offers of support as that’s where I used to go wrong and am changing that as you have said. I’m reconnecting with lost family and friends and taking ALL the help to get my best recovery. Trying new things is my next plan but trying not to put myself under pressure or rush into hobby collection!

I’ve had a terrible week overall but each day was a bit better than the last. Each day I could see something else that was needed even if I didn’t know how.

It’s a massive journey and not one we choose but I do feel that challenges only make us stronger even if it doesn’t feel like it at the time. And this week I hit rock bottom. And I may be there again another time but knowing it gets easier and reminding myself that I’m not alone in the depth of night (when the demons are at their worst).

My family and close friends will think someone else is writing this after the last few days they’ve witnessed. It just proves that no matter what, we have the strength even if it’s hidden deeper than we expected.

Patience and self care don’t come easy for me but with guidance I’m finding the way.
Asking for and accepting help is my biggest challenge and one that I’m determined to grasp.

Thank you again for reading my poem and your supportive words.

Hilary

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Good morning @hjp64
I hope you managed a better night’s sleep last night.
I’m glad you are finding the post mastectomy pain easier than the pain after your previous surgery. I was surprised too that I only needed a bit of paracetamol for the first couple of days.
I can imagine that the emotional fallout is hard for you. It’s hard for us all but when you thought you weren’t going to need a mastectomy and then are told after one lot of surgery that you do, it really messes with your head I’m sure. Just as you are coming to terms with one difficult situation you are then hit with another. Plus a mastectomy doesn’t leave any breast behind and you have to come to terms with a new you. It’s a lot to take on board, especially when you still have anaesthetic in your system and are tired from surgery.
If at any time you want to message me I will be happy to hear from you. I’m going away on Wednesday (part of my catching up with old friends plan) but I will pick up messages and reply as long as my signal is ok).
Sending you a big Somerset hug.
X

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@hjp64
Im in floods of tears and hardly ever cry.
Your poem is BEAUTIFULLY written and so very TRUE
You are AMAZING and VERY TALENTED
Thankyou so much for sharing
:two_hearts::two_hearts::two_hearts::two_hearts::two_hearts::two_hearts::two_hearts::two_hearts::two_hearts::two_hearts::two_hearts::two_hearts::two_hearts::two_hearts::two_hearts::two_hearts::two_hearts:

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Yes I definitely slept much better
Thank you again for your kind words.
Definitely affected by meds, tiredness, wanting to rush to be better etc
But feel sure I’m going in the right direction

Have a lovely break and I’ll be in touch when I’m not feeling so needy and emotional

Take care from a (previously) sunny Derbyshire

:heart:

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Thank you so much

We all do it at times but not always the best way for different situations but BC is a very tough ride for us all whatever the circumstances :heart:

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Hi @hjp64
I’m in tears too after reading your beautiful poem. It took me back to 17years ago when I too had an incomplete lumpectomy and went on to a mastectomy. I’m even more emotional because the good friend who took a day off work, flew 800miles, hired a car and came to pick me up from hospital, has just today been transferred into ICU to treat her flu/pneumonia.
I stress the 17 years because it shows how survivable this illness can be even when things don’t go according to plan! I am fit and well now, and have just started running at the ripe old age of 72. I started because I want to do a park run with that same friend who goes every Saturday, so please God🙏 we will do it together one day. So my brave face is back on to support her daughter and sister who are “in bits” with worry. We all get our turns at receiving and then giving help so we should never feel guilty about having to remove our brave faces and say “yes please”.
Wishing you all the best for your surgery recovery, and anything that follows.
Sending love and hugs

Eily :heart::heart::heart:

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Thank you that is beautiful. I’ll read it again Tuesday before I go in. Everyone tells me how brave too. This was helpful :heart:

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Oh wow
I’m so pleased that your tears are understanding and not from the pain of it all. Perhaps it resonated with you so much because you knew your fears were so strong and you needed to feel safe? We never forget our challenges but often remember the negatives and not the positives. I feel that the focus is key to make the memory a better one and to remove the emphasis from the hurt. We don’t beed that part any more. The job is done and we’re safe now. No-one can predict tomorrow for any of us so we can use our new found skills to build our future and bring our loved ones kicking and screaming with us :wink:
Your own lived experience will help your special friend because you have the power and strength to give your support and love that they will be needing, and that may be all they need from you!
You clearly inspire each other in lots of positive ways. I’m in awe of your running which is a massive achievement and just shows how resilient you are and what an excellent way to support each other too.
I wish you both the very best. Take care and thank you for your lovely feedback which makes me feel very honoured and grateful too :two_hearts:

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@dani2

Hi ,

I wish you all the best for Tuesday whatever that may involve and know that you’re not alone even with your brave face on.

You are braver than you think and stronger than you know :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

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Beautifully written… made me cry as it resonated so much with how i feel when people ask. The last few years for me has been continually brave faced, poorly 16 year old daughter husband with stage 4 cancer and I’m two weeks post DIEP. You’re very talented please carry on such lovely creative poems. Xx

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So much like me. Thank you Hilary x

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A huge hug for you Sarah x

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So beautiful - your poem echoes my own feelings and you have expressed them so well. Tears as I read it. xx

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