Absolute sheer panic

Hi guys,
how did life bring us here? I hope there are others asking this question because I feel like
im having a nervous breakdown.

Im 23, working married mum of 3 beautiful boys. about 6 months ago I found a strange lump and I ignored it. I assumed it was something boring and never did a thing. on Sunday I found a second lump, smaller but in the same area. things don’t usually spook me but I made an appt with the GP walked in and told him I wanted a breast examination immediately. He found the two lumps but then found a third, that one was in my other breast. He made a 2 week wait referral up the the clinic yesterday. The hospital called today and my appointment for ‘the triple test’ is Tuesday.
Safe to say I am absolutely terrified, not of the medical procedures - but of the outcome. and now I have some questions.

first, am I going crazy or something? ever since I went to the doctors yesterday, my boobs are so painful and heavy it’s untrue. Why? They have never hurt before. I haven’t had periods in 7 years So it’s not hormonal. I work in psychology and I’m very aware of psychogenic pain and I have been askin myself whether this pain is psychogenic? Am I feeling pain because I think I should feel it? Is the pain psychological Because of stress? Or have I never felt the pain properly because I wasn’t taking it seriously? No idea.
How common is that? Did anyone feel pain or become more aware once they were in the system? Also - what are the chances that my boobs have Been prodded so much my me and doc and nurse) that it’s actually disrupted a possible growth? Im so scared.
Second, I am having the most horrific panic attacks. I had a traumatic experience in 2008 which caused panic attacks and PTSD and I was completely recovered by 2010. All of a sudden, I’m plunged right back there. I’ve had 3 full blown panic attacks today, 2 of which I was in my office at work! my stress levels are so high, my whole body has tensed up and I have migraines and a tense jaw so I know it’s stress. is anyone else this scared?
my mums side of the family is riddled with breast cancer, no one has ever died of it but most of the women have had it. Everyone except mum. My dads side has no history of any cancers at all. I am incredibly scared and I just feel like my life has stopped until I get told whether I’m ok or not.

Hi Eatonlady, the pain is probably all the prodding and poking that has gone on and you are more aware of it because you are worried. try not to worry too much, easier said than done I know, and good luck on Tuesday, my one piece of advice is to take someone with you, I didn’t and regretted it xx

Dear EatonLady

Welcome to the BCC forum where I am sure you will find a lot of support from other members.

You could also talk things over with someone on our Helpline. They can offer you practical information and emotional support. The opening times are 9-5 on weekdays and 10-2 on Saturdays. The number is 0808 800 6000

Take care

Very best wishes


BCC Moderator

Hi please try not to panic until you know what you are dealing with your anxiety will play havoc with your imagination. It is very common for younger women to have cysts and the fact you have lumps in both breasts could be an indication of these. I have had many cysts drained and my consultant says I would be like a pin cushion of he tried to drain them all. You are doing the right thing going and getting checked out. On the day they should tell you if they don’t ask them. They can tell straight away if it is a cyst or cancer, they might not know what type of cancer but the radiologist will for sure know its not a cyst. Mine told me straight away and then the breast cancer nurse came to talk to me and arrange an appointment with the surgeon. Hope it all goes well for you, hang on to the thought that you are very young and so not really in the age group for this to happen to you. You have three kids so maybe this is all hormone related xxx

Hi EAton lady,
Sorry that you find yourself on here but it is a great site. All I can say at the moment is like Zuzy I agree you should take someone with you, I didn’t and also regretted it. They can give you a diagnosis that quick. Let us know how you get on.
Sam xx

Hi guys,
I had a huge panic attack last night, it was awful, lasted about 15 minutes. I’m freezing, I’m stressed, I’m aching and tense all over my body. I’m really angry at my husband at the moment although I havent got the energy to challenge him. He is saying that work won’t let him have the day off to come with me to hosp on tues - it’s not that at all. He just doesn’t want to come because he thinks I’m being stupid. He’s really shocked me. We’ve been married 3 years and he’s fantastic. But he’s totally let me down this week. He just says I’m over reacting and I don’t need anyone with me because there won’t be anything wrong with me. Im gobsmacked, and I’m so exhausted with worrying that I don’t have the energy to argue.
My friend will come with me but I really needed my husband there. :frowning:
im much calmer today and I now can’t work out whether I’m having breast pain or chest pain from the panic attacks. I’ve never had this type of feeling, it’s like a stabbing burning pulling sensation. I haven’t the foggiest what it is.
oh guys I’m so scared. My boys are so young, I have a huge career ahead of me, years and years of life… These sorts of scares seem to serve well as a big fat reality check, like someone saying ‘see, you’re not invincible jess’

You are ‘invincible’ Jess and you will get through this. You only have to read some of the stories from the inspirational ladies on this forum to know that. The emotions you are experiencing are very natural at the moment. Explain calmly to your OH that you’d like him with you when you go, as you are a team and you need his support, whatever the outcome It’s often just as frightening for the OH thinking something may be wrong with the person they love. It may just be his way of coping.
I found Bach rescue remedy to be my ‘best friend’ in the early days and thinking positively. I know it’s hard :frowning:
Good luck to you and keep in touch.
Emma xx


i am sorry you are here and having such a bad time.

i know I can’t say anything which will stop you worrying, but when you feel the panic coming on remind yourself that
most lumps turn out to be nothing sinister
you are young and therefore it is less likely to be cancer
even if it is there are many of us here who have had that diagnosis, had treatment and are still here to post.
the helpline is there if you need them.

I wonder if your husband just doesn’t know what to do or do to help? Lots of men feel helpless when there is any suggestion of illness. You say your husband is good in other ways, which makes me wonder if he just feels unable to help, and is trying to bury his head in the sand?

I think just for now you have to focus on you, take your friend for support. A helpful friend who can listen to what the doctors say will be more help than a husband who doesn’t want to be there anyway.
Also keep posting here. We have all been through the same, and there are usually people around to listen.

Thank you so much for just listening to me rant about nothing! I must sound really selfish, getting this panicked when i dont even know whats wrong yet. I think, I’m just panicking because I’ve studied cancer and i know that if you get cancer under 25 years old, it tends to be very aggressive and you have about a 50/50 chance of surviving past the 5 year mark. That scares me.
The other thing is that everyone seems to be really sure about what their lumps feel like and how mobile they are and stuff. I havent a clue. Theyre on my breast plate or ribcage/chest wall, on the inside of my boob (kind of inbetween my boobs but on the side of one of them if you get me). The other one that the doctor found was in the centre of my boob above my nipple. I still cant bloody find the one he could feel.

He finished by saying ‘overall, you have very lumpy breasts on both sides - i’ll bet its benign breast disease’… i know that youre thinking - not very professional to ‘bet’ what is wrong with me - i thought that too when he said it. Fibrocystic breasts are very lumpy and fibroadonema cause that too… but im still really scared that its not that. My ‘lumps’ feel like knotted, tangled rope along the bottom and side of my boob on my chest wall. if i lie down, theyre really easy to feel and theyre hard.
My friend is definitely coming with me now, shes travelling 100 miles to come with me… known her 17 years haha. Never thought we’d be doing this together! i actually feel worse for her than i do me. It must be horrible for her having to come with me and support me for hours in this state!

It’s great that you have a good friend going with you.

I had to ask a friend to come with me when I went for my follow up from my lumpectomy as my husband was unable to attend. I already knew that they hadn’t got clear margins and had said to my friend I’d rather a mastectomy than repeated tries for clear margins, so when the surgeon said mastectomy was the next stage (no option), and she could do it next day, I gulped, but said ok let’s do this.

Then when I dared look at my friend, SHE was the one weeping, and I had to comfort HER! … I’ve teased her about that since :slight_smile:

Keeping everything crossed that yours turns out to be B9 lumpy breasts!!

Do let us know! xxx

Ps. And you know what? Your husband is wrong. When you are that anxious about something you need support and encouragement, and if it turns out to be good news, you’ll need somebody to celebrate with!! Tell him I said so!!!