I was diagnosed at 35 last year, whilst we were trying for a baby. I hadn’t worried too much about fertility at the time… cancer soon became the priority. And I always thought adoption would be an option in the future.
After going through the worst of the treatment I’ve started having a look into adoption as I know it can take some time. But it seems that a BC diagnosis can go against you, at least with some agencies, and you can’t adopt?
I’ve only had a brief look, the whole process looks very complicated. Does anyone have any experience?
I am 36 and was dx in march. I have no direct experience of adoption after bc. I had wanted a third child and was trying when I was dx and have been trying to accept it will not happen now, and I am ever do grateful for my two little boys. I did make general comments to my bcn and surgeon about having to adopt instead and both looked worried and said that that may be difficult with a bc diagnosis. A friend from the hospital was told it’s not possible but hasn’t investigated deeply yet. The vibes I got was that it’s an uphill battle.
Sorry not more informative or positive but didn’t want yo leave your post languishing alone and thought a bump up the forum might assist.
All the very best, this bc comes to batter you in unexpected places doesn’t it?
Please feel free to call our helpline, they may be able to point you in the direction of more information on this, 0808 800 6000, the line is open weekdays 9-5 and Sat 9-2
There is some information in the back of our fertility issues and breast cancer publication which you may find helpful too, you can read or order this via the following link:
Good friends of mine adopted 2 children last year, but it was a long and difficult road to get there. They are not affected by bc but had suffered many miscarriages and a baby born at 26 weeks died after 6 weeks. I helped them by writing a reference and having an interview with a social worker. They found the process pretty invasive into their lives, and the man was told to lose weight before they would be considered. The whole process took 4 years.
That said, they adore their 2 little ones and are very happy.
As the process takes so long, you will no doubt be well past initial treatment before your application woudl be considered anyway.
It is possible to adopt after BC - because I’ve done it. We had already got a 4 year old son of our own and had just started on the long road to adoption 7 years ago when, one week before my husband and I were due to have the mandatory medical, I discovered the lump that was to change my life forever. When I told our social worker that I had BC she told me to go away for a year, have the treatment (i.e. lumpectomy, FEC x 6 and radiotherapy) and get over it and then contact them again. This we did, and along with a medical reference from my Oncologist which gave me a 96% chance of surviving the next 10 years, we were then allowed to continue with our adoption plans and a year later, in June 2005 we got our dear daughter.
Sadly in Jan 2007 I was diagnosed with a reoccurrence and the devastating news that it had spread to my bones. I am my daughter’s third mother, she had her birth mother for 18 months, then her foster mother for over a year, who (against the rules), allowed her to call her mum and now me. It breaks my heart to think that I am being taken from her too, but it is also my force that keeps me going with determination to get her to independence before I succumb to this vile disease.
Thankfully I think there has been many changes over the last 7 years that means the future is a lot brighter for BC victims today so I am sure that you will not have any problems with your adoption. Good luck to you, it’s an extremely rewarding thing to do and I can say with absolute honesty I love her as dearly as the son I gave birth to.
Thank you for bringing this subject up because it is something I want to know more about.
I am 26 and was diagnosed 2.5 years ago now… I’m on Zoladex so I haven’t had a period in over two years and won’t know if I can have kids until I’m into my 30s so adoption is something I also want to know more about. I have never been pregnant before the bc so have no idea if i’ve ever been able to conceive.
It seems that it really is a long process so I know for me I will probably look toward adoption sooner rather than later. (not quite yet though, I’m enjoying being young and my cat is more than enough to look after most of the time!)
Linda - Your little girl is very lucky to have found such a strong mum and role model x
Please keep us updated on how you are going on and good luck! I can understand why it might be more difficult to adopt once you’ve had bc but surely the most important thing is that you’d be a good parent, that’s what I’m hoping for anyway!
Also, has anyone looked into surrogacy? Because my bc was hormonal they wouldn’t take any eggs before the chemo… can you have eggs harvested after a few years?
I too looked into adoption 3 years ago and on the day we were due to go to the first adoption open evening, I had scan results and the news that my bc had spread to my lungs, so obviously didn attend the adoption meeting.
Well, Im still here and feeling well. I wait to have my ct scan on tuesday and hopefully (fingers crossed itl be good) Anyway, I phoned the adoption lady (local authority) the other day and shes said that adoption is probably unlikely, but, fostering may be possible as its short term. Something I initially didnt want to do, but I would consider it as that can have its rewards as well and Id love to help a child/children.
So got a meeting ironically in a weeks time, the same day I see my oncologist to get his version of what next in terms of treatment or to stay on the hormone tabs depending what my scan shows(but get my results straight after the scan so I will know in advance myself)…so we’ll see.
I know the post was a while ago, but only just re-joined the forums after a hectic 6 months.
I was diagnosed 6 years ago, had lumpectomy, chemo, radiotherapy and have just finished tamoxifen.
My husband and I started talking about adoption 3 or so years ago, but it wasn’t the right time as my head was still all over the shop.
Since then my head has finally come to terms with the fact that we can’t have our own birth children, and last February we went to an adoption pre course and things moved very quickly. We were approved last July and matched with our two little superstars a month later. I have been a mum now for 6 months and it’s amazing and bloody hard at the same time!
Having had breast cancer never went against us, the social workers were just concerned that we had ‘got over’ not being able to have our own children. I had to have an early medical, and a letter from my oncologist stating his opionion on our planned adoption. (Which he was more than happy to give) When we went to panel the doctor wanted some more information, which was just a letter from my oncologist saying my diagnosis and prognosis at the time, which was sorted within a week.
I hope this helps, and if you want any more information then please pm me!
