Advice needed…. Newbie here!

I’m really looking for some advice please…. I found a lumpy area under my arm and have been to the drs… they have referred me to the local breast clinic and I should find out early next week when my appt is. My question is, how do I stop myself going crazy in the meantime! I’m normally quite a rational person but my mind is going to the scariest of places… I have teenage children and have no idea how I will tell them if it’s bad news!!
Any words of wisdom gratefully received…


Hello @fingerscrossed1

I’m sorry you find yourself here and you are going through such worrying time at the moment

The truth is, you don’t have cancer until you are told you have cancer and fears are not facts.

You will only get the answers you need from one source and that will be the doctors who check and test everything so try (I know it’s hard!) not to second guess or google anything: information is often out of date and isn’t going to tell you about you (if you get what I mean)

Dealing with fears and anxieties is difficult but ultimately the answers are within you, it’s find those things that you/your mind likes to do whether that is exercise, cooking, baking, knitting, endless box sets whatever works for you do it (and don’t feel guilty about doing it!)

Wishing you all the best for your referral appointment and fingers crossed you don’t have cancer. Having said that (and it’s a big IF) please be assured that breast cancer is a very very treatable disease and you probably walk past people in the street every day who’ve been through breast cancer treatment

AM xxx


Thank you so much for taking the time to reply to me. I really appreciate it x



As has already been said I’m sorry you find yourself here and the team you will see at your appointment are the only ones who can tell you the diagnosis. It is unlikely you will be told at your first appointment if you have cancer as they may do biopsies and there will be a wait for results. Waiting is always the hardest part of hospital visits and tests. I have no easy answer, I know saying do something to take your mind off it may not work for everyone. I’m sure there are many people on this website who have asked a question as they are worried about lumps and they have been found not to be cancer.

I know it’s hard not to Google but I find if you go to trusted resources such as Breast cancer now, MacMillan, Cancer Research or Dr Liz O’Riordan (Website/youtube/podcast) there may be some helpful information. I found having some information helped at the hospital appointments and my understanding of what was being done and why. You may also be able to think of questions you may want to ask from reading the information.

As far as your teenagers I would keep them out of it until you know what is happening. If you do get a cancer diagnosis I would then talk openly and honestly with them, they will then know how to support you. There are many charities that will support them as well as you. My children are in their 20s, I kept it quiet for 6 weeks after finding a lump until my diagnosis.

I wish you the best at your appointment and hope you are cancer free. :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

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Looking back from one year after the last treatment, one of the most anxious times of the whole breast cancer experience for me were indeed the weeks between finding the lump and getting it checked in the breast clinic. My husband was even more anxious than myself but he didn’t say anything at the time. I had the benefit of online chats with my Mum to reassure me than many of her friends and acquaintances were still alive with breast cancers diagnosed years or even decades in the past which he hadn’t. They were very thorough at the breast clinic with mammograms, ultrasound scans and biopsies, so I was there for a whole afternoon that I remember felt very long. So I’d suggest taking a good easy read or some knitting or some puzzle on that day.


Thank you so much. The wait really is hard going so I really appreciate your advice and for taking the time to reply x


Update… I’m still waiting to hear from the nhs with an appt but there is a chance I may be able to have an appt with my husbands work healthcare, waiting for confirmation ….this wait is long!!!

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Welcome to the forum @fingerscrossed1

The forum is full of wonderful people like those who have replied to you and I hope you find the support you are looking for here.

We’re thinking of you and hope you are able to find ways to help you deal with the waiting period.

Sending our warmest,

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I will be keeping my fingers crossed you for you that you can be seen quickly. Surprising you haven’t had a date from the NHS as it is supposed to be 2 weeks.

I’m in Wales and they changed the referral to have a mammogram first, have that reviewed and then you see a surgeon with ultrasound and biopsy. I was 10 day wait for mammogram and another 3 weeks for surgeon.

Thank you everyone…. So, my nhs appt came through this evening for 21st Feb but have also confirmed today a private appt for this Monday coming…. I really am grateful for all your support and wish you all well.


I’m so pleased your NHS appointment has eventually come through and your private one.

Will you go to both? Might be an option to see what is available. I have Herceptin provided by a private company paid by NHS and they said there are many treatments available privately not available on the NHS

I wish you luck in your treatment.:smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

I had my appointment this eve. After a mammogram and ultrasound to confirm, I was told the good news that nothing to worry about… lymph nodes!
Thank you all for your support x


Great news @fingerscrossed1

Hi Naughty_boob
Intrigued by meds available privately but not on NHS…. Curious- how are these accessed? Do you need to have private medical insurance to access these drugs? I’ve heard treatments can depend on postcode. Hope you don’t mind me asking.

Hi @Beebs

I don’t have private medical insurance but the NHS has organised for a private company to give me my 3 weekly Herceptin now I am no longer receiving chemotherapy. It saves me over 30 mile trip.

The private healthcare nurse advised me that there are a number of drugs available to private patients that have not been either funded by the NHS or NICE/MHRA haven’t agreed to it. I would assume most have private healthcare insurance to pay for treatment or you can pay privately if you can afford.

A specific drug we discussed was trastuzumab deruxtecan (Enhertu) as it was recently in the news that not everyone that may benefit could access it via the NHS. See below re NHS Scotland.

The nurse said if you were a private healthcare patient you could access it if it was appropriate for your treatment. I’m was just commenting on our conversation. I suppose the NHS has limited resources and the costs of treatment have to be weighed up.

I hope this clarifies everything.