Hi All,
Didn’t know where to put this, but would really appreciate some input from you lovely people who know where I’m coming from…
We own a little 2 bed flat at the moment and were lucky enough to have critical illness cover which has paid off our mortgage. So, we are thinking about buying a house, which was our plan before all this rubbish. Obviously now we are in a much better financial position. However, this would mean ending up with roughly the same mortgage we had before which is manageable. Husband, friends, family think I should make plans, think about moving somewhere bigger and nicer and keep moving on with my life.
But, I am wondering if I am being mad and irresponsible. The mortgage would probably be in husband’s name although I would be paying half. He has said he doesn’t want to contemplate me not being here, but if worse happened he would just sell it, and then have the lump sum we have from having no mortgage on flat to start over.
Am I stupid to even think about the future, a life in a house etc. I don’t think I have a great prognosis although I haven’t asked as prefer to feel positive and take as it comes but had nodes involved, large tumour and HER+. I am finishing chemo on wed then rads to follow. I feel very positive and want to believe that even if this b8stard does come back I have some good life to live yet, but just thought that you lovely people could help give me some sensible perspective. Family and friends don’t want to think the worst for a second and I don’t want to be delusional…
Thanks for all your help as always. Hope you’re having good days
L xx
Hi L,
It’s a fine balancing act isn’t it? I would tend to agree with those who say get on with planning and living, but I would keep a little bit of caution i.e. don’t overstretch yourselves. You don’t want money worries on top of everything else, if you become unable to keep up your part of the payments later, and heaven forbid the worst happens at some time in the future, you don’t want your husband to feel he has no choice but to sell up the home you shared, soon after a bereavement. He’d have enough to cope with.
But basically, if you have the energy for house-hunting and moving, I’d say go for it!
All the best
Jacquie
Hi Lizalou
Thank you for responding to my question re ‘lets change the subject’
This seems a little spooky but I have been reviewing where we live at the moment so I will be interested in the response you get.
From my prospective, we finished paying off our mortgage 6 months before I was dx’d.
I like where I live but would like to have a change of scenery, perhaps consider that house in the country I always thought about. Its part of that ‘live for the day’ attitude I am adopting. The only difference being that my husband would not be able to contribute much to any new mortgage because he is trying to establish his business.
My wages would cover a new mortgage, but what would happen if the worst case scenario raises its ugly head? I haven’t been able to get life insurance in the past due to a silly heart condition so how would a mortgage be paid up?
Oops I am going on about me.
I do not think you are stupid for thinking about the future, you will know by using this site there are lots of us who go on for years. What if in five years you look back wishing you had gone for it!
We none of us know how long we have with or without cancer. Would you think like this:
Now I want to go ahead with this move but what would happen if I got wiped off the road by a lorry?
I know I make it sound flippant and Jacquie has a good point about it being a fine balancing act. This subject should bring about lots of comments, always a good thing for reviving the grey matter.
Good luck
Carol
Thanks Carol and Jacksy - v much appreciated! You are absolutely right, as long as it’s not too much stress I should keep looking to the future and doing what we planned to do. It’s so nice to have something else to think about to be honest!
xx
Hi lizalou, Forward planning seems so difficult with so much stuff to consider. A few years ago I was in two minds about us taking out a loan to do house improvements that we had always planned. The time was right but I was hesitant and unable to explain why because it made everyone think I was being negative. Anyway, I got lots of encouragement from this forum, went ahead with the plans and it has made a huge difference to my enjoyment of my cottage and garden. I’m still in fine fettle 4 1/2 years after dx.(not brilliant initial prognosis) and the new French windows etc. are nearly paid for! I’d say go for it, hope you find somewhere you really love. xx
I say go for it. Cant sit around putting your life on hold for something that might not happen. I am just 2 years after DX, have just sold our house and are now mortgage free yippeeeee BUT we are putting it up as garantee against a loan to buy (hopefully ) a restaurant !!!
You have to get on with things and live your dreams.good luck