Hi,
I hope I’m not out of place by coming on here but I didn’t know where else to turn. My best friend has been diagnosed with Secondary breast cancer with tumors in her lungs. She is 38 and was first diagnosed at 35. The reason I’m coming on here asking for advice is because the previous times she has kept very positive, though obviously there was some dark moments but this time it’s like she’s really struggling and is feeling low all the time and cries alot which tears me up inside but I don’t show it. She was always such a positive, happy person even through the bad times. I was wondering if anyone has any advice for me on what to say do etc as I’m so scared of saying the wrong thing and upsetting her even more.
Also please don’t think I’m being insensitive but I don’t know who else to ask - is secondary breast cancer curable? Though she has told me that her Chemo dose is double what she had before hence having it every week she hasn’t talked about waht secondary actually means and I’m to scared to ask. I’ve read so much on the internet but am confused.
Sorry for the long post, thanks for reading.
xx
Hi Scarlett
The information sections on this site explain secondary bc really well. In short it is not curable but there are many women who are living with a secondary diagnosis. We are told that there are different therapies for these women and some of these therapies can extend life, sometimes good quality life. But, bc is different for everyone and if you say something like “Theres a lot they can do, it’s not tthe end of the world” she may punch you. Although life can be extendd a secondary diagnosis must be terrifyoing and as someone who has had a primary diagnosis it is something I guess we all dread.
My advice is to listen, cry with her, don’t tell her to be positive or educate her at this point, hug her if she is the hugging kind and signpost her to this site where there are many “big sisters” in the secondaries club.
Take care and go well
Jane x