Advice please

In 2006 my wife (then age 41) was diagnosed with breast cancer, had a lumpectomy, chemo & radiotherapy. She was the same age as her mother when she died from breast cancer.
After symptoms from November 09 my wife was diagnosed in February this year with secondary brain and lung tumours. Both were surgically removed but within 3 months the brain tumour had regrown. In July it was blasted with singe shot targeted radiotherapy and with Herceptin the cancer is apparently not currently active. (note: the primary cancer was not hormonal but the secondary cancer is. Also it is BRCA1). Last week she had her annual mammogram and has just received an appointment for ultrasound, biopsy and consultation. Since a day after the targeted radiotherapy she has been suffering severe epileptic type seizures.
I ask for any relevant advice or information on the above and specifically on her estimated likely life expectancy and quality of life expectancy, epilepsy control and what is the best I can do for her and our 13 year old son.


I was very sorry to read your post. You and your family are going through the most awful time and there is very little that I can say to change that for you, I wish I could. I know we aren’t supposed to say that life can be unfair…but it is, desperately so at times.

The questions you ask are very difficult ones…the doctors are the best ones for the epilepsy control because they are the professionals and they understand about medication etc. As for life expectancy, well, that is a question that no one will be able to help you with because it’s an unknown quantity really. They may have a general idea but it’s an impossible thing to predict. What doctors can do tho is give your wife palliative care when that is what she needs. That is making her as pain free and comfortable as possible. This is often done at a Hospice because the doctors and nurses there are excellent at that kind of treatment.

I think the best thing you can do for your wife and son is be there for them…emotionally and physically. Show them you love them and try and make every day special. After you get the results from the next lot of tests you may know more about what you are going to have to deal with. These tests may actually not show anything negative but in your frame of mind you can’t help but think the worst which is totally understandable. One step at a time.

You sound like the kind of person who will do the right thing instinctively…a good man. I wish I could help more.

Sheana x

Hi sossages

Welcome to the BCC forums, I am sure you will continue to receive valuable support from your fellow users, in addition please do feel free to call our helpline. Here you can talk to someone in confidence about your concerns at this difficult time, the line is open weekdays 9-5 and Sat 9-2 on 0808 800 6000.

Take care

Hi sossages,
I am so sorry you and your wife find your selves here. I really feel for you - it must be aweful watching someone you love go through this dreadful disease.
I cannot help with any of your specific questions but think you might get more advice if the post was on the secondaries page. There are some wonderful people on there who will do their best to help.
best wishes

Thankyou all for your sympathies which are greatly appreciated. I have taken your advice and reposted under secondaries medical issues.
Kindest regards