Hi everyone

I am trying not to worry too much but I could be at risk of this illness that I don’t want to name. I’ve been doing some tests and of course I want the best results but I need some advice. Should I tell my Dad about what is happening? I am afraid he will get angry with me for not acting sooner. I’m really scared though and can’t stop getting emotional. I don’t want him to worry. I’m in my 20s. 

Hi hereforhope

Welcome to the forums. I hope you’ll find the support you need.

First of all, you are very young to have this condition . Although I don’t agree with your fear of naming it, I’ll respect your choice. Me, I’d be saying it till it loses its power (as it does). The important thing is though, the condition happens - we don’t invite it, so there should be no fear about your father’s reaction. It also is only one of several possible explanations - most lumps turn out to be benign.

Whether you tell him or not is up to you. If he and you are very close and he is the person you turn to, tell him. You could do with some support. Do you have a close friend who could support you? If your family is the type where father must know everything, don’t keep secrets. But please, don’t blame yourself for something you may not have and certainly is not your fault. Don’t think for a moment it’s your fault. 

Let’s hope it’s a simple explanation and is not the condition you dread. But if it is, it’s all manageable - just do NOT use Google to learn anything1 Take care xx

Hi Hereforhope,

Good advice from Jaybro. I think nearly everyone who is going through tests needs to confide in someone, preferably someone who is generally relatively calm. And as Jaybro says, whatever the diagnosis, it is not your fault. Not at all, so please push that thought straight out.

I spotted your other post and was a bit unclear, since you mentioned insisting on a referral to the breast clinic (after previously being told it was a skin condition), and later on in your post say you are so concerned you feel minded to go to the hospital (of your own accord?) to get a scan or X-ray? Hence I just wanted to double check if you did manage to get referred, have had some checks, scan and possibly a small area of tissue tested at the breast clinic at the hospital? Please let us know so that we can support you. 

As Jaybro says there are many benign (non bc) causes of breast lumps and conditions. However clearly you have noticed a change and are worrying, so it is important to get it properly checked out. The chances of it being a form of bc at your young age are very low, so hopefully the test results will provide some reassurance and give an indication as to what else could be causing the skin/nipple change.   

Please post back if you are having any other spinning thoughts, worries or need advice on how to approach anything.

X Seabreeze


Hi. I hope you’re ok.

I’m waiting for an appt and I worry and wonder who to tell. Hoping for the best results as everyone does. If you feel like you need some support then maybe consider who might be able to support you best that’s around you, that might be your Dad or someone else. I hope you figure it out and everything is ok.

Hi just an update on this if anyone is reading and wanted to know what happened. 

I’m in the public health care system so there was a big wait to see the surgeon and get the biopsy. My biopsy results came back benign so the surgeon said I have nothing to worry about. I’m very happy about this.

But this experience has taught me that unfortunately it can happen to anyone, at any age, so regular breast checks, and a fast act approach when you feel something is abnormal is super important. We all have to be our own health advocate. I’ve learned that it’s better to get it checked and be safe then to be sorry. I wish everyone here a good recovery. You are all beautiful people thank you for being so kind to me.