In June 2017 my mum had been feeling very unless for some time but couldn’t pin point what was wrong with her she was also getting some back ache so she went to her GP which he told her it’s muscular pain she went away thinking it would get better. But it started getting worse so in august she went back again and they said we will do some bloods and a x ray just to see if anything comes up anyway bloods come back high calcium and x ray on chest area come back full of small lytic lesions everywhere they could see so they referred her to the breast clinic because my mum had breast cancer previously 10 years before they did biopsys scans etc which showed she had breast cancer but this time it’s in the over breast the one she had in before is clear… she has these cancer spots all over her ribs collar bone shoulders spine and hips but no major organs as of yet! Calcium levels are making her very sick and week she’s lost so much weight as she can’t eat and on very strong pain meds she’s in and out of hosp trying to get calcium levels down too! She is feeling very down and she can’t stop thinking she hasn’t got long left we haven’t even seen a oncologist yet it’s been 3 weeks since they finally referred her but heard nothing as of yet! She as been referred to someone else too to check her bloods for cancer now they also want to do bone marrow biopsy is this rountie? Or is there something they aren’t telling us? How long did it take you all to see oncologist? And once you did how long until you started treatment and what treatment did they put you on? How long has it been since your diagnosis and how well are you all doing we want to speak to people in same situation life is so cruel to do this to people! My mum is moving in with me as she can’t take care of herself anymore she struggles with the most littlest things now picking the kettle up with water in it hurts her. Is there a good possibility she is going to be here for some time or do we need to prepare ourselves for the worst if anyone can relate and wants to talk direct please email me email address removed thanks for reading xx
Lauren I am so sorry to hear about your mum - it must be so difficult for you and for her. I cannot offer advice from my own experience but I know there will be some ladies who have more experience of this who will come along very soon. I’m just responding to suggest you might like to amend your post to remove your personal email address as this is a public forum so anyone can read all the posts even if they are not members, and that could be a bit dodgy for you. There is the facility for private messaging on this forum though, but I think you might have to be a member for a certain length of time before you can use it. Sorry if I seem to be interfering, but you’ve got enough on your plate without getting spam or worse. All the best. xxxx
Hello Lauren
Welcome to the forum and what a caring daughter you are …well like me …your mum has had a long spell of remission since primary and now it looks like the cancer is partying in her bones.
Unfortunately the dx is such a shock but until you get her to oncologist it’s living in limbo. …
I would imagine that they want to check the status of the bc if they are talking about a biopsy as the treatments are different.
It’s very hard to say what the treatment plan will be but I would think maybe letrozole like me which is a hormone pill and a monthly bone strengthener maybe …both easy peasy to tolerate but until the oncolgist decides the regime. .I can’t comment.
If u can try to remove your e mail details as this is a public thread and u certainly don’t want unwanted spam …to stress you more .
Anyway, please keep in touch as we are here to help. …
Hugs xx
Lauren, This is a shock for both of you. You both will feel better and more in control once you have spoken to the oncologist and have a treatment in place. Many ladies do get a bone strengthened. Then from there it is either chemo therapy or hormonals. Hormonal are usually given to women who are estrogen positive. Most people tolerate them very well. Every oncologist is different in his plan of action (POA). Some like to treat aggressively in the beginning and then relax a little after that. Some like to go easy and see what will help and maybe be more aggressive later. My cancer came back after 10 years but set up camp in my lungs. Then a few years later one bone met in the spine. Everyone’s cancer is different and there seems to be no comparison of apple’s to apple’s! Oncologist usually don’t like to give a time frame. I don’t know what the average time frame is in the UK for getting in to see the oncologist and under way with treatments, bc I live in the USA. Hopefully one of the other girls will come along and comment on that.
I do agree to remove your e-mail. Actually don’t be surprised the moderators might do it. FF
Hi Lauren
Please let us know how things are goingxx
Moijan???
Thankyou all for reading and replying, she as been in hospital for last few days so I have been super busy with kids and up and down the hospital! Well she has her bone marrow biopsy today she’s so scared she has heard it’s very painful. Still no appointments to see oncologist pain relief is getting stronger now because pain is getting worse… I hope your all well? How long has it been since you all got diagnosed with this awful disease? also I will remove my email thankyou all I’m new to this xx
It went well today not as bad as she expected! Finally got our oncology app for Monday!! Finally after all this waiting. And I’m sorry to hear your diagnosis dragoncarine how are you feeling in yourself now ? Are you getting many symptoms? Did the breast cancer come back in the same breast or the other? We was so uneducated we believed 5 years after being given all clear we was at same risk of getting breast cancer as everyone else ! She still regularly checked her breasts though but it’s not a lump even now she has no lump just all her ribs are swollen you can definitely see where the cancer as spread on them rib bones!
Yes dragoncarine, I agrees about taking someone, to make notes too,also I type out my questions on my iPad and hand it over to the onc and he goes through them all.
sorry to hear your situ…very scary, They don’t routinely do full body scans do they? I had one recently for the first time and was reassured that bc hadn’t gone to anywhere else, but you have been unlucky…where in your upper arm is it then? In the bones or have you Lymphoedema?
Having said all that, the reason they gave me, for the whole body MRI was to check the bone…but then they said the bone situ was very unclear, that there was damage but ? due to what…so I’m unsure if my bone mets have spread like the liver ones have.
anyway, whatever there is…is…and we all travel on the same train in the same direction…let’s try to travel hopefullyxx
hugs, Moijanx
Hi hope your all doing well,
Mum seen oncologist today and they are going to start her on chemo in 2 weeks as long as she’s fit and healthy enough for it! Hopefully this is where things start looking up I hope thanks for all your support you’ve been great x
Thankyou! So Thursday she has the line put in he Arm and Monday she has he First treatment along with her bone strengthener fingers crossed she starts feeling better soon as her pain meds have been upped as it’s getting a lot stronger! How are you doing Moijan?
What new treatment have you started? Good luck I hope it works out for you! And thankyou I will contact them to see where are closest one is. How are you feeling? My mum had her first treatment yesterday she had docetaxel and a bone strengthener not sure what it is called, anyone had this? Had good outcomes? She’s feeling very flushly this morning not sure if it’s normal… I have a cold trying my best to stay away I don’t want her catching it 
your all warriors going through this watching my mum daily the struggle is awful but also very brave!! Good luck and hoping everyone well x
Hiya Moijan
I think they change dosage of chemos a lot since our primary …my friend is primary and having 3 FEC/3 Taxotere …in 2004 I had 6 FEC/12 CMF and it seemed to be forever going through it all …
Hugs xx
Thanks for your comments. Just an update really it’s Day 11 since mums chemo and she’s been in hospital last 2 days she become very unwell the other night violently sick just a general feeling of unwell we took her in anyway to be on safe side and she has an infection so been on antibiotics since via a drip and now blood transfusion today!! Anyone else had this? Also lately I have been noticing the side where breast cancer is her side ribs and that side of her back is so swollen… is this due to chemo or cancer ? She also has a lump on her chest just under collar bone right in centre and you can see it without looking closely. She brushes it off though when mentioned I don’t think she wants to admit how bad it really is! Is this normal ? I’m constantly worrying I feel as if it’s actually making me ill myself watching her get worse day in day out I can’t live my life as soon as I smile I think about her and how much pain she’s in and scared etc… she has her chemo every 3 weeks 250ml and injection into her arm for bones Every 4 weeks heard you say people are having this weekly now? Is this a good chemo my mum as been put on? I’ve heard so many different stories… some good some bad but tbh most as been bad reviews to this drug! Hope everyone is feeling well today on this very cold morning 
xx
Hi so infections is the norm for cancer and chemo then, she hasn’t had an op they said they couldn’t operate as it’s to far advanced! And when she had cancer last time and had her op it was the opposite side. She is still in hospital yesterday had another x ray and she multiple fractures on her ribs but again this is the wrong side no swelling etc she isn’t getting much pain that side we are convinced they have looked at the x ray wrong and the fractures are actually on the side where all swelling is!
Kate21…
Sorry to hear you was first diagnosed at stage 4 when was this? How have you been since your diagnosis I’m all new to this so trying to get my head around it all xx
Hi just checking in as it’s been some time since I last did! How is everyone doing? Hope you all are enjoying the lovely weather mums doing a lot better these days she’s finished her chemo and now on medication ( aromasin ) anyone had these before? She has a scan on 4th may pet scan… be her first one since she started her chemo do they normally only scan before and after chemo? I thought they would of done it half way through! We are very scared to go back for results but we are feeling positive too now mums feeling better I’m actually getting away going Tenerife on Wednesday these past 6 months have been so hard for me so I need the time to relax and try forget everything that’s going on! Anyway enough from me I hope to hear back from you all soon xx
Thanks for your reply, happy to hear you was stable for so long on these tablets how are you now? Chemo went fine first couple was hard but after that she carried on as normal wouldn’t know she was having chemo half the time! She’s still on 100mg of tramadol now and oncologist asked if she can reduce it but sometimes even the 100mg don’t take pains away so she’s not very keen on reducing at the minute… how’s your pain vary from day to day? We notice that her pain spreads about a lot one day it’s one side next it’s the other we need to speak to oncologist about this is this normal? Last appointment mum had to go on her own as it clashed with collecting children from school and she tends to not ask much when she’s alone. Also very looking forward to our holiday away feel abit guilty leaving mum but she’s assured me she will be fine! Well things must be improving when she come to live with me around 6 months ago she couldn’t do much for herself at all now she’s fully mobile and we even manage a short trip around the shops!! Feeling very positive 
Hope to hear back from you soon take care xx
Hi Lauren I have been on aromasin for more than two and half years and have been well on it though my feet have got more and more painful. I’m lucky that I have so far never had to have chemo. Your mum is lucky to have your support. As yet it’s the other way round with me and my daughter. Have a great holiday.
Bon xx
Bonariensis that’s brilliant you haven’t had to have any chemo as of yet I hope it stays that way for you too! I’ve read some horrible stories how awful chemo can really be, my mum was just very lucky in this case… have you had any other side effects on this medication my mum has recently been hallucinating nothing has changed apart from this medication she has just started so we are beginning to think it could be that, will speak to onc when we meet again.
Nicky08 your very very lucky to have no pain what my mum would do to have no pain! Hopefully one day she may be pain free who knows… she’s beginning to feel like this is life now. Also could I ask how often you have scans and see your onc? I see they often change things around to keep cancer under control I think it’s amazing how they can keep it controlled for so long! Love hearing all your success stories and how well everybody is doing hope to hear from all of you and more speak soon xx