i am so tired with my praxcimetal chemo I just did not feel like communicating . Well iam daignosed with lobular breast cancer bone mets . 15 chemo done now 6 more to go. Feeling ok tired at times . Scan showed good response and tumour has shrunk . Nodes have shrunk and bones are showing scars . Another scan due after this . Don’t know what next doctor will do with me. Iam 53 and have 3 children Please let me know if I will be ok . Just feel so sad . Iam so scared. Got to live for my loving family . Need my children to grow up . All these thoughts are driving me insane. I love you all here
Dear @worriednow , I am sorry to read that you’re sad and scared. I hope being on this Forum, reading other people’s experiences and making connections has helped you a little bit.
We know that sometimes it also helps to speak to a professional who can talk things through at your own pace. If you wished to chat to one of our team of breast care nurses, you can reach us on freephone 0808 800 6000 (Mon-Fri 9am-4pm; Sat 9am-1pm).
I really want to give you a big hug. I’m in a similar position as regards the secondary breast cancer. My first 5 cycles, I felt totally wiped out (I’m on capecitabine so I have to take 18 tablets a day, 2 out of 3 weeks). But it’s doing it’s job so I can live with it till it stops working, which could be months or years. You have good results to reassure you too. It’s that uncertainty that hovers like a black cloud and finds cracks in your defences to take over your thoughts for a bit. It ruins everything!
I read a post in a SBC forum on FB and the woman got her secondary diagnosis 18 years ago. Did my spirits soar. I’ve seen a few 10 years but 18?? That’s incredible. But today, almost glued to the loo and not knowing why I get so anxious, I’ve lost that inspiration. Maybe it’s the triple negative business.
I’m currently reading Glittering a Turd, one young woman’s experience of getting a terminal diagnosis 12 years ago. She and her friends founded the CopaFeel charity to raise awareness among young women. The bits about her teenage angst etc are a bit irritating to a 70 yo but generally the book is inspiring. However, at your lowest ebb, you don’t want to be reading about get-up-and-go, you need nurturing and reassurance. And that’s hard to get isn’t it? Because no one really can reach the bit that’s hurting, not unless they’ve been there themselves.
I guess all I can say is you’re not alone, treatments are changing all the time and lifespans are getting longer. All I’m doing is shelving the fear, refusing to even think about it (as far as that’s possible) and hoping, hoping, hoping… If my lifespan is short, I really don’t want to waste time worrying about something I can do nothing about. I want to be out in the sun, reading good books, regaining my confidence to drive…and enjoying a bit of life after 18 months of shielding. I call it playing ostrich.
Maybe tomorrow will be brighter for us both. I hope your treatment continues to work for you. All the best