After rads.

I finished my rads yesterday, and i should be feeling elated they went well, not too much redness, had no chemo. clear margains, my boobs look pretty much same in clothes, so why do i feel so down.,  I was not going through a very good time in my life when breast cancer was discovered, i live alone, no siblings, kids or much family, did have lovely parents but both deceased and since i retired reluctantly i cant say ive enjoyed life much.  Being at work was my life, it gave me social contacts, ok i do still have long term friends from work but i it was social,you met people, all ages, you felt part of something,. Retirement to me if you dont have a partner and loads of loot to travel etc, is a tedious bore and if anyone else says “do voluntary work” ill scream I dont want to work for no pay, and thats all it is. Maybe thats it, the cancer did give me something to concentrate on and going through treatments took up time. Now i think god back to normal, on my own, no job, and very little likelihood of getting one, people over 60 getting jobs, is very unlikely i feel, ive tried, got nowhere, im bored out of my mind, sometimes sit my friends dog, love the dog, but thats a bit solitary as she wont let me walk him!  but i feel i need more from life.  I survived cancer for this dreary existance , Then i feel so ungrateful cause compared with many on here ,im lucky. But i really do need to find a purpose in life and widen my social contacts, I dont know enough single people Does everyone feel flat when they should feel elated, is it normal. ? June

Oh dear June, I wish I could reach in there and give a hug. Do you think because you have finished your treatment folk this, she must be fine now?

I’m just at the begining, had lumpectomy and sentinal node removed, now waiting for results hopefully 11 or 18 june - get the feeling that friends think once surgery is over that’s you all sorted even though I have tried to explain what happens next


Keep talking to folk here June, will add you as a friend and try to help if I can



Sheena xx

Hi June, I’ve got two more rads to go and had a review meeting today and said how elated I feel about how well its all gone and how I’m looking forward to getting back to my normal life and she said you will be surprised how many people say that then feel completely down and lost once it’s all finished so it’s completely normal, I suppose you get in to the routine and feel safe knowing you are being seen every day then suddenly you are cast adrift, I won’t be seen now until my first mammogram next year and at the minute I’m delighted by this after the past few months but I am aware I may feel differently in a few weeks, I hope you pick up and can find your happy self again, it’s not an easy thing to put behind you and you just have to take it a day at a time I suppose just as we did at diagnosis , wishing you all the best xxx Jo

So agree with you Magic Moon. People dont understand. We will never be the same people we were before BC. But for me thats a plus i want to start living again and not merely surviving. As June also does, i live alone too and this has taught me how strong i actually am. Course we’ll have our down days but if we can come through BC we can come through anything. Life doesn’t frighten me anymore. Dee xxxx

How true Magical Moon. You should join our surgery and living alone thread. Its women like us who live alone dealing with BC at various stages of treatment. June is on there too. Thsy thread has been a lifeline for me. Hugs Dee xxxx