@mitch2 sorry to hear that you’re struggling 
I had a single mastectomy in March and have struggled on and off since with feelings about it! There is a chat on here; Mastectomy - flat and fabulous or reconstruction. Shared experiences that one of the lovely ladies on our chemo group started - not sure if it helps at all but it did for me just to hear about others and their attitudes to it! It is a life changing operation so don’t give yourself a hard time about having a down day! Always happy for you to message me if you think it would help! Lots of love 
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