after surgery

hi everyone

This is my first time on here, i was 18 when i got a brest lump i ended up having to have it removed i had two operations and i have two large scars on my left breast.

I went to have a scan done and scan came back that it was a solid lump so had the fine needle test the results came back as 5 so was advised to have it removed as it showed signs of cancer cells, unfortunatly a foregin doc operated on me as the other surgion was ill and he removed tissue from the wrong part of the breast and left me with the ever growing lump still there. a year later when i had come to tearms with it and had loads of tests done and tumor was still growing and still on same grade so had another operation done at 19 years old. the doc who did it was a great breast surgon in the north west he looked after me as much as they could as i was in a bit of a mess as you can imagen.

now im 22 and still struggling with the after effects as i now have 2 large scars and they sore to touch, they look a lot better than they did but im now struggling with relationships at my age im not married and not in a relationship but when i do meet someone i find it so hard to get intimate with them as i dont know how to tell them about the scars like i said they hurt so if they get grabbed its unconfatble!!! also embarressed about it at 22 i cannot go out with the low cut tops on and pull the lads as im totally embarressed about it and i dont want people to see it. Sometimes a girl wants to go out and have some fun but i feel like im been held back by this…

does anybody have any advise please help.

many thanks

Dear Gemma

I am sorry to read of the problems you have experienced and would suggest that you may wish to call our helpline. The specialist breast care nurses on here will be able to offer you support and advice, the number to call is 0808 800 6000 Mon-Fri 9am-5pm and Sat 9am-2pm.

Best wishes

Dear Gemma

I think you should wear low tops if you wanted to, if it enhances your appearance. Trinny and Susannah and Gok Wan have good ideas about emphasising your good points and hiding the less good ones. Which everyone has and worries about whether they have scars or not.

I know you may think I am not helping you, but my view is that someone who cares about you won’t be put off by scars on your breasts. I have had partial mastectomy and i can honestly say that if anything it has awakened quite a lot of curiosity in other people, in a way it is my unique selling point. Not that I see it quite that way. We are all more than our individual parts. I had very bad spots as a teenager and I lost confidence because of them but it did help me develop my ability to make people laugh and develop my personality to compensate for how I felt I looked.

I have also found going through an experience of having being diagnosed with cancer has given me more insight into some areas of life, and maybe more desire to do things now and not worry what others may think. It also made me feel very angry about the treatment and the attitudes of doctors and has motivated me to avoid hospitals but that’s me rather than you.

Good luck and keep up your spirits.

Hello, you poor thing and i really do mean that, you have had to grow up very quickly and i guess you feel robbed of what is probably the best part of a womans life in many ways, i wear tops that show my scar simoly cos i had them before my op and ive never experienced people staring so wear what you want, if people stare its cos they are ignorant!!!
I think you could benefit from some counciling, and remember there are some really nice blokes out there, make it your mission to meet one!!! i sound like your mother now dont i? im only 35 though honest!!!
Best wishes ANna