Hi,
I dont know if I’m posting in the correct place but lets see.
I’ve just had a mastectomy (4 weeks ago) and one of the most difficult things I’m finding is how do I feel.
I get my results tomorrow to see if i need chemo and radiotherapy.
I’m trying to stay positive, but really i feel numb.
I’m sort of in limbo. Does this make sense to anyone?
Welcome to the group, although sorry you have ended up here like the rest of us.
I think what you’re feeling is absolutely normal in that there is no normal way to feel - you’ve just had major surgery after a cancer diagnosis, it’s so hard to process and doesn’t feel real.
I’m seven months on from double mastectomy with no reconstruction, and still have days when it doesn’t feel real, and like did it really happen.
It does get easier - like you, I waited five weeks post op to go back and get my results. I didn’t need chemo or radiotherapy, 10 years letrozole, but I felt most numb in the days that followed. I remember saying to my husband the day after that I should be really happy and relieved but I just felt sad and numb. It’s almost like you need to go through all the feelings in order to get some normality back.
I did three counselling sessions (free Macmillan/Bupa) and they really helped me process and understand that the things I needed (100% guarantee I won’t get a recurrence) were not possible and no one is guaranteed anything in life. Also that it is normal to feel upset and sad and to allow yourself to feel this.
You just take it really slow at your own pace and I can tell you it does get better. I hate that I had to go through this and will always worry but it gets less and I am fitter, healthier and happier that I ever was before the diagnosis. It did teach me to appreciate everything I have and I don’t sweat the little things.
I hope your results are good but whatever happens you will get through this and you will look back and see just how far you’ve come - even if it doesn’t seem like it now. Hang in there, we’ve got you xx
4 Likes
Hi @lynnc123 ,
Thank you for your response.
I had an appointment this morning , and they have told me i do not need chemo.
I will be seeing an oncologist to discuss Radiotherapy.
The nurse said much like yourself, all different emotions will come and go at different points and to listen to what my body needs me to do.
1 Like
Ahhh, that’s good news about the chemo. You will be through it all in no time and have the summer to get out and enjoy every day.
My diagnosis, tests and op were over a couple of months last summer so I’m really looking forward to going away this summer and another step forward.
Good luck with your radiotherapy xx