Stella, hope all goes well for you today. Looking back, I used to squeeze loadsinto my Chemo good weeks too. Maybethat mindset hung on? Take those steroids…
Vickie
x
Is it that we read all these inspirational stories about amazing woman who battle on - when in fact all we have to do is be good to our nearest and dearest and of course ourselves? There is a pressure to be super-woman, to do everything perfectly, even if it is preparing our children (with boxes, love, fun times, memories, new homes) for a death that is not actually imminent? Or putting our mark on the world incase our time is up early.
I am reading The Power of Now, it is a wonderful book about being conscious in the NOW and enjoying every thing that we have right now, in the present moment. It may be a bit spiritual enlightenment for some, but even so, it does give some very good life lessons about just simply being and enjoying what we have.
Vickie im so glad you posted this, as i thought it was just me. So nice to know there are others that think and feel the same. I also keep letting my husband know more things regarding the kids, in case im not here to do it one day. The other mums at the school just have no idea do they?
Its a really strange feeling after treatment has finished. I feel the need to tackle something as thats what we have been doing for the last year basically. I often think of all the things I want to do or wish I had done differently in the past. There is a real need to keep the mind active! I have my trip to peru for breastcancercare to look forward to in April but already feel the need for another challenge. (Any goods runs Vickie!)
I get really anoyed at people who tell me I should slow down! They have no idea what going through my mind. I am being made reduntant from work in August so in work listen to the constant moaning. I just want to shout Live your Lifes! dont sit moaning!
Fustration!Manic! call it what you want!lol
Sarah x
Hi
Yes, i feel the same as some of you alot of the time.
This need to cram as much into life as possible…
I have two children aged nearly 3 and 6. They are hard work to be hoenst, but i still feel i need to find a job to earn money (well i need to do that anyway!), rush about sorting the house out, do voluntary work and do all the usual stuff with the kids after school and weekends.
At the moment, i have this bee in my bonnet about not having a job. I was ready to go back to work the time i was diagnosed in 09. Now i do voluntary work when my son is at nursery to make myself feel useful and have a purpose etc.
I think time is the key as has been said before.
I will never get over the shock of being diagnosed at 37 ( i know some of you were younger)…but i wll make damm sure that i get the most out of life now…
Some days i feel really cross…mainly when i catch sight of my hair which even at 3 inches i absolutely hate!
This manic thing has defined my life…when I was a teenager (13) I had a serious riding accident that caused a ruptured spleen, punctured lung et etc. I was late being taken to hospital as my parents took me home as they thought it wasn’t serious!!! I very very nearly died…
As a result I have a compromised immune system and could fall foul of an overwhelming infection…
I have never let it get to me and don’t dwell on it, have never wrapped my kids in cotton wool and have allowed them to do all sorts of dangerous activities including riding some pretty nutty horses…BUT…
The fact is I live life at speed, cram tons in, do stuff and never say ‘one day when I retire’ or ‘in a few years time…’ because having had a near death experience that left me with a legacy of doubt over whether I actually would get to 80 I have always lived in the here and now.
When my daughter was dx with bc I applauded her attitude…which mirrored mine and when I was dx 6 months later, after the initial shock decided to just keep going but to ‘stop and smell the roses’ a bit more…
I think we all tend to walk through life thinking we are immortal, even though we know we are not. Bc just gives us a reality check that life is precious and for living.
My favourite phrase for many years has been ’ life is NOT a rehearsal’
So Tors and others, heightened sense of mortality is a good thing if put to good use 
Tors i ran the race for life last year in May! Rained whole day but i managed to run round course in 41 mins. This year i am draggin 6 friends with me…suffer together!!
I have taken sleeping tablets for the last 2 nights and already feel a bit better.Lack of sleep certainly makes me a bit crazy!
X