I’m 66 and was diagnosed with bi-lateral HER2 positive in February. No lumps, not picked up on routine mammogram. As it was a private appt they did an ultrasound as they said I have dense breasts. No DCIS on MRI but found when they did the surgery. Clear sentinel nodes. I don’t underestimate how lucky I am.
I’m 5 weeks post radiotherapy and just started back at work. I’m needing to cut back a bit as I was getting very tired. But just as youthink after such a good outcome I should be full of beans, I’m actually feeling pretty low mentally. Have just started regular exercise which I’m hoping will lift my mood. Has anyone else felt like this afterwards?
Absolutely! Everyone thought i should be shouting for joy, but i just couldn’t raise a smile. Anxiety about cancer returning & starting hormone therapy added to my blues & also the sense of being abandoned. Im now 3 months post radiotherapy & beginning to come out of it, i think. Just discovered cognitive behaviour therapy from a recent zoom presentation from Breast Cancer Now. Im using the acceptance exercise to help me look at my emotions & explore them rather than put the lid on them. This is helping. Also been to my local cancer centre to book in for some reflexology- we all need a bit of self love at this time i think. Do talk to someone; GP, breast care team, Breast Cancer Now nurses. I spent too much time crying when i should have been planning my future & having fun. The fact that you have reached out is a positive sign that you will find ypurself again soon xx
Dear @debsv, I felt the same! Was expecting to feel good but I was all over the place mentally. I wandered into a local Maggies Centre and a lovely nurse sat me down for a chat. She said what I was feeling was perfectly normal! After a long chat she took down a book from the shelf for me to borrow. It was called The Cancer Survivors Companion. It was a great resource and a great help. I then went on to do the BCN Moving Forward Course. ( A similar course is also offered at Maggies centres). I also had some counselling sessions at my local cancer support centre. These things also helped. Time has also made a difference and I now feel more positive. Have also done some volunteering to put my experience to good use and planned some days out and little holidays. We have been through a very traumatic experience and suddenly find ourselves out the other side with time to process what has happened. Our friends are pleased we have finished treatment but cannot see what is going on in our heads and that we still need their support. It takes time but it will get better. Wishing you well. Love Tulip x
Yes it’s quite common to struggle mentally after the active treatment if finished . That’s when your mind starts to process what has actually really happened and you don’t have this structure of appointments to rely on. What is worse everyone thinks you should be jumping for joy and not only are you not feeling it but you beat yourself up mentally because you’re not feeling it - you feel as though you’re being ungrateful. You aren’t by the way.
It just takes some time to come to terms with what has happened to you and to trust your body again - your exercise plan may help with that . Cancer of any grade or variety is a scary thing thing and it can change you and you need a bot of time to find your new normal . I find that I think a little differently since I had cancer. I found the Moving Forwards course to be helpful and I joined a couple of local support groups .
Be kind to yourself and give yourself some praise because you got through your treatment and you’re back at work - it took me longer to get back though I did have other issues as well. I do Yoga mindfulness and sea swimming all of which help with mood xx
@debsv - I think this is such a common feeling when finishing active treatment. Whilst in the thick of it you are simply focusing on the next treatment … then when it’s over … it feels a bit like you’ve been thrown overboard to swim to shore ! Combined with family and friends assuming that everything is “back to normal” and life just carries on as before …
life is never the same after a cancer diagnosis and I think sometimes the feelings associated with it don’t fully come to the surface until it’s over …
Breast Cancer Now’s moving forward course can help you in the way the title suggests and also don’t feel you have to return to doing everything you did before the diagnosis . Cancer treatment batters your body mercilessly and you need to recover . X Arty1
Yes, I’d say its taken 9 months to feel more like myself- though you are never the same. About 8 months to stop getting tired episodes and for radiotherapy symptoms to improve enough so I’m less focused on them.
Like you, her2 positive, but lucky in only needing radiotherapy -which was ok in the short term, but the longer side-effects dragged me down. I don’t think it helps to recover over the winter month’s either, happier with longer days and sunshine.
You might find this article by psychologist Peter Harvey helpful. A friend two years ahead of me in her bc experience sent it to me and it certainly resonated with me. x
I second that, @bettymay . I have one more round of immunotherapy left this month after a lengthy treatment journey since Tripple Negative diagnosis in Feb '25, and everyone around me thinks I should be jumping for joy and ready to celebrate. I’m likely to still be tired for a fair while yet, and have other side-effects, so there’s no feeling of wanting to party for me. As Peter Harvey says, it’s only at the end of treatment that ‘recouperation’ can begin. The life-changing experience of cancer doesn’t suddenly leave us when the treatment ends.
This is my first post but have found so much helpful advice on this forum. I had a single mastectomy in February and axillary node clearance in April. I finished five days of RT two days ago and I now feel totally lost.
I expected to feel fatigued and uncomfortable across my chest. What I didn’t expect is this feeling of ‘what now?’
All through this horrible ‘journey’, I always had another appointment or treatment planned. I now feel unsure of the next stage. I too feel guilty that I’m not elated that the active treatment is over and I should be getting back to normal. I’m crying while I write this but reading all of these responses and messages have reassured me that I’m not alone. I was going to contact my breast care nurse but didn’t want to waste her time. I’m now thinking of asking to be referred for the Moving Forward course, as it sounds beneficial.
Thank you for all the advice and support on this forum. It makes me realise I’m not alone x
Hi Minna, i felt exactly the same. On top of feeling lost you probably have brain fog and other menopausal symptoms which doesn’t help. Be kind to yourself and not expect too much of you. You may get tired and you may get sore. It’s different for everyone. Explain to your nearest and dearest how you’re feeling as they’re probably on cloud nine now you’ve finished everything. It will pass. I enjoyed walks and being outdoors helped. Don’t forget to keep applying the aloe vera and cream several times a day. And the more you read this forum you will realise you’re not alone. I did do the moving forward course, but not for a few weeks until i had settled a bit. It will be fine. And it is ok to speak to the nurses. That’s why they are there.
Welcome to the forum @minna .What you are feeling is totally normal . When all the chaos dies down around you you begin to process what you’ve been through and the impact it has had / will have on your life going forward . Lots of us here who understand exactly how that feels .The Moving Forward Course is a good idea and you should definitely speak to your breast care nurse if you are struggling and maybe ring the Breast Cancer Now nurses helpline and talk to them ? Keep talking here too. Best wishes Jill
Arty1 