Hi all
I’ve been on the site for a while now - and tonight spent ages reading through threads I haven’t read before. I’m now beginning to wonder if I’m fooling myself, or if I’m suddenly going to be hit with some massive realisation soon…
I had a mastectomy and full node clearance on 13th Nov, and started chemo on 28th.
I have seen so many posts where people say they don’t like how they look, or can’t look at the scar, don’t like the bald head etc etc.
I can honestly say that both me and hubby saw scar the day after the op., I regularly shower and stand in front of the mirror to check how scar is healing etc and it has never bothered me. I have never fet any repulsion, or feeling of loss etc.
I have also now lost most of my hair - and again, when I see my reflection, I just see myself staring back, but with no hair. I don’t feel like I’ve changed at all.
Please don’t feel that I am ‘gloating’ in being able to accept all of this - because I am now beginning to wonder if I am really coping, or if I’m shutting something out and it’s going to come and hit me between the eyes soon.
I guess I just wanted to know if anyone else has found that they are completely accepting of everything that has happened to them.
My OH says it’s just the way I am but now I’m not sure. Maybe I should try counselling to see if I’m burying anything - or maybe I’m just looking for something that isn’t there??
Or maybe I just read toooooo much!
Sorry for going on…
Margaret x