Am i pathetic?

Am i pathetic?

Am i pathetic? been having a few stresses at work recently, been working there for 12 years but new manager and me seem to have a problem, doesn’t help that she’s my brothers ex!!!

anyway to cut a long story short my friend advised me to go to doctors, which i did [have a fantastic GP] on wed., he said ’ i’m signing you off for 2 weeks to get yourself together’

i sat there talking to him with tears running down my face and i don’t know why…told him i felt pathetic and it was 2 and half years since diagnosis and i didn’t think i should be feeling like this…he said it takes longer than 2 and a half years.

wasn’t going to take the time off but have decided to, and have also spoke to manager and asked for a one to one with her to air issues,
which i’m going to do on tuesday…don’t think she was even aware there were any issues.

i’m a nursery nurse and we lost a young girl [19] last month from another branch of the nursery to cancer last month, my auntie has been diagnosed with bone secondaries after 15 years, my sister-inlaws sister was diagnosed with BC just before xmas, my friend was diagnosed with liver secondaries last year and my sister-in-law has non-hodgkins lymphoma…so me moaning bout work just makes me feel pathetic!

sorry to go on

Of course … … you’re not pathetic, Karen.

It sounds to me that things have been building up for some time, and now they’ve come to a head.

People don’t realise how distressing a diagnosis of cancer can be, and what it does to your mind, let alone your body! These cases of cancer you cite must have brought it all back - not that it ever really went away …

Good luck with your manager next week.


Not a bit You have been through a wringer and are exhausted. Sounds as though you have a really good GP, and I would trust him. And I hope that your one to one with your manager resolves the issues. You could do without any extra at the moment. Don’t be ashamed of crying - it is a healing mechanism.

Thanks… Mcgle and phoebe,

do you know i don’t know if i really have cried through all of this…i know i did at diagnosis…but the anger set in…went through phase of serious anxiety and panic attacks…but don’t know if i really cried??? strange!!!


you seem to be surrounded by cancer at the moment.
it sounds like your ex sister in law is the last straw.
i get the feeling you are the sort of person who once you have got it sorted will regain your balance.
but if you don’t, be easy on yourself, perhaps you have held on and this is the trigger to let go.
i am still in the part where cancer is on my mind most days, my friend has passed that stage, she is 4 yrs down the line and says it does get easier and goes to the back of her mind a lot now.
take care and good luck for tomorrow.
sharon. x

SHE CANCELLED!!! manager [ex sister in law] cancelled meeting for today as their short staffed
trying to rearrange as don’t feel i can go back til this is aired.

karen x

oh karen, so sorry she cancelled. hope you get new appointment, i think i would be the same as you. it needs sorting so you can move on.
take care.
sharon. x

You are not pathetic Hi Karen,

I hope you are feeling a bit better, you are certainly not pathetic, I am reading the forums today as I went to work this morning (had my ops last sept and oct) finished rads in Jan, anyway I got this job in April, cleaning at a Uni, it is really hard work but it is lovely being with people again, anyway my boss took me in the office this morning and told me as I am only casual they paid me too many hours last month and they are putting nothing in my bank today, I was gutted I thought they could have told me ages ago not on pay day, well I was so upset I said I was going home, I cried all afternoon, I felt like a wimp but so much emotion was there I didn’t know where it came from, I just could not stop crying, I said to myself come on get a grip but could I heckers like. So I went with the flow, cried till I could cry no more and feel alot better for it, so don’t feel pathetic Karen, we have all been to hell and back I think, and unfortunately some are still there, so we are allowed to ‘vent our feelings’ we are only human, you have been on an emotional rollercoaster, and we just can’t get off, so go ahead with your meeting Karen, get all your feelings out in the open and leave nothing you feel unsaid, and if you want to cry in future, you just cry girl, I believe it is a safety valve, it needs let off now and then.

Sending you a hug, I hope it all goes well for you, x Rowlaine

Am I pathetic Dear Karen,
My name is Di, I too was undergoing breast cancer in April 2004. For me this was the second time but to the opposite breast. As you are in Gloucester did you attend Cheltenham(under Dr Elyan). We may have been there the same time undergoing treatment. As far as you are feeling now you sound like you are physically and emotionally burnt out. I feel you need to take time out for yourself. To begin with you havent got one of the easiest jobs in the world, I couldnt do it and possible you may be a little over sensitive to the relationship you have with your manager. I feel that with all the friends and love ones, in your life, suffering from cancer has really brought it home to you and that you may have yourself unresolved issues and emotions about your cancer, experiences and the future. I too sometimes have moments when I feel pathetic and feel sorry for myself but I think these emotions are offen delay responses. During and after coping with cancer we too often have to be strong and brave for everyone else in our lives and do not have time to allow ourselves to deal with our own grief, loss, fears.