Am I positive or burying my head in the sand?

Hi everyone I’ve been feeling as positive as possible since diagnosis of secondaries in October last year. The oncologist said he can treat me for years and medication is going well and although theres some fluid on my lung to be concerned about liver is stable. Last night I was browsing this site and began to read a thread about preparing for the future and I felt so down. Basically I should be planning my funeral! Don’t get me wrong I’m aware of how serious secondaries are and have thought of some final details, but I’m trying to get on with life, enjoy my time with my lovely family and feel hopeful. Sorry just felt so sad and lacked hope last night! 


Love to all ?

Hi Jennie60

Sorry to hear you are feeling so down this morning. Sometimes reading about other people’s secondary’journey’ isn’t helpful, sometimes it is. Unfortunately due to the nature of this forum you will be confronted with more stories like this than you would in the real world. I think also after the initial shock of finding out you have secondaries you start to cope with it all once a treatment plan is in place but then the reality of the situation can also hit you as it sounds like has happened to you. It’s completely normal to feel like this after all we’ve all been dealt a rubbish hand and we are entitled to feel sorry for ourselves! However there really are lots of treatments and daunting though some of them see we do seem to cope with them. I have now been living with bone mets for 12 years, the last 6 of those with liver mets as well and my main way of coping is to live for the moment. Don’t think of the what ifs, grasp each day and enjoy it, give yourself a mini treat or plan something however small to look forward to. Everyone’s own story is different from the next persons with this disease so don’t think that just because someone else’s situation is going one way that yours will have to. That is something I have definitely learnt over the last 12 years! 
I hope this might help you. Try and pick yourself up today and plan something nice with your family over the weekend. I hope you feel more positive soon.

Nicky x

Hi Jenny, I’ve got the same diagnosis as you, the same response from my Onco ( lots of tricks in his little black bag) and have been going along very nicely for a couple years. My disease is well controlled, even if SEs are a bit wearing. The Ibrance means my neuts drop, so I am extremely susceptible to any colds etc. Winter months have been especially fraught. However, my philosophy in all of this has been to take one step at a time. I dont read threads on popping my clogs until my Onco, heaven forbid ,tells me. I have never asked a question I didn’t want the answer to, and I have never, ever googled. I do read the positive stories on here, and I do try and support members in need. We all need a virtual hug ? at times. I think you have to believe your medical team. Your success is their success, and new BC treatments are coming along daily. I keep faith with my SBC lead who tells me to treat my disease as a chronic illness, much like TB, and to live life as I want to. So, sending a virtual hug from my holiday apartment before I wobble off for a swim. X