Hi Nicola, have you done anything else apart from massage/counselling?. I’m quite keen to do the herbal medicines, nutrition and reiki. I know I’m not up for counselling at the moment x
No, I’m a bit of a skeptic when it comes to alternatives I’m afraid- and felt a lot of the nutrition info was already on the DVD. The massages were very good though and the counselling really isn’t scary, honest. There’s no prying into childhood etc, it’s more about practical thoughts on how to cope with everyday issues.
x
Thanks Nicola-I might try the massage. The irony is that I’ve been a mental health social worker for 15 years and usually tell people how wonderful counselling is. I’m just afraid it might unravel me at the moment x
feeling really stupid.
have woken up too early, just wanting to lie in but wide awake at 7am, have lain there for hour and half, worrying, over thinking all that is happening. i just didnt know what to do with myself, and feel really stupid to get into such a state, have been shaky and anxious, i am taking mild anti depressants, for anxiety and got all those feelings back again. i dont know why im writing this even i have to forget about it and move on with the day.
im just cross with myself that i so wanted to lie-in. i know i should have just got up and occupied myself, did small job or something. and then try again.
sorry everyone, just had to let it out xxxxxx
Hi Anne, try not to be too hard on yourself. With all this treatment we really aren’t in control of our feelings. Anxiety and depression are physical first and then impact on our thoughts. I’ve had insomnia and anxiety a bit with the tax, it’s a known reaction and the steroids don’t help. This time will pass, the side effects will wear off, we will feel better. I’m avoiding stimulants like coffee and alcohol because they can make things worse too.
Nicola x
Thanks Nicola, we just need to be gentle with ourselves.
big hugs to all of us that might be feeling low today, am going to get absorbed in a book xxx
Hi Sapphires -
Day 5 post tax - Woke this morning at 4am intead of 1am and the aches and pains have now gone down a notch. Still not feeling great but at least going in the right direction.
Nicola x
Good morning Ladies,
I’ve not been on here for a while because of sheer frustration dealing with life at the moment and ‘preventive treatment’! I found that I’m keeping everything inside and trying to deal with everything the best way I can, but as I read each of yourlovely ladies posts/comment regarding your health, treatments and state of mind…I know have to keep going and be strong as well as positive. I’ve finished my x3 of FEC what an experience that was I didn’t take any of my anti-sickness tablets, I was completely fed-up with so much going into my body…what had been playing on my mind is that I was relative healhty but all of this and now chemo has made me unwell 
.unfortunatley my last treatment left me drained and extremely unhappy. My first cousin passed away the morning of my chemo we both were diagnosed in July he had aggressive brain tumours - talk about being loss and empty! To top this off I’ve had my periods from 24th Oct!!! Nothing heavy…I call the onc to see whether this was normal but she wasn’t available even funnier I contacted my GP and was told someone will call me back …am still waiting over a week now…couldn’t be bothered to call back. I’m anaemic as well!!! I’m starting DOC next week Tuesday and Herceptin the following week. I’ve had lots of sweatful nights…even hot flushes I constantly battling with the covers at times I find this funny becasue I could be in full conversation and it’s like he goes…flan flan!!! Lots of sleepless night too.
Has anyone started Herceptin yet? How have you found that? I’m also due to start radio in Jan too…what a jounery this is turning out to be 
fun, laugther and tears.
I would love to say everything is super dooper but it’s not and I want to remain so positive and be an inspiration to others going through their jounery! So sending out lots of love, hugs & kisses …Yibby xx
Hi Yibby
Sorry to read that none of your medical professionals have contacted you yet. If you want to discuss this with one of the nurses here, the helpline is open until 5pm this evening, calls are free. 0808 800 6000.
Take care,
Jo, Facilitator
Yippy, i feel for you and no you shouldnt be all happy and inspiring. ive put enough crap posts on here the last week or so.
cant comment on doc, or herceptin but hopefully loads will tell you what you need. i thought my periods would stop, but had 2 as normal, 3rd fec this week, fingers crossed.
hope you get some answers,
have been thinking at the moment i feel at home in the chemo ward and in a wierd way looking forward to sitting there this week, , is the same for others? am i a bit mad?!!! its just being with similar people i suppose
hugs to all, hope tomorrow feels better, yippy xx
Hi ladies, just hopping in from the April thread to wish you all well.
We are all now through chemo and rads and on 27th october had a wonderful meet-up in Birmingham - it’s a tough rouad but it does get better.
Earlier in the year some of you were generous enough to support me in my fund raising ventures for Cancer Research by buying my Pixies Happy Bags. Well today I have launched Pixies Christmas sacks. Available for 4 weeks only - they are gorgeous and every penny goes direct to cancer research UK.
They make lovely stocking fillers, can hang on a tree or could be sent in lieu of xmas cards. You can find more by googling me under Pixies Happy Bags or sending me a message for the link. (moderators won’t let me put a link on here)
Since June this year I have raised £5000 through selling these little bags and hope I can make it £600 by the end of the year.
Warm wishes
Pixie xx
Thank you Pixie,
i found your link for the normal ones and you have reminded me I didnt get round to ordering 1!!!
thanks for your support, we have exchanged messages on several threads,
anne xx
Hi Yibby, sorry to hear you have had such a rubbish time with everything. No need to be positive if you don’t feel that way. Sometimes we just need to be honest. Anaemia is bound to make you feel low and lacking energy, it just a natural physical reaction to not having enough oxygen going around your system. Deepest sympathies for the loss of your cousin, life is so cruel sometimes.
I have already had one docetaxel and will be starting herceptin with the next one, assuming this week’s muga scan comes back fine. I’ve found the tax to be a lot harder going than FEC, plus starting to struggle emotionally with the eyebrow loss and bags appearing under my eyes as well as loss of my fitness.
Luckily I had a lovely massage at the hospital today and tomorrow is my Look Good Feel Better session. Are you getting any complementary support at all? I’ve found it does help a bit.
I really hope you will keep posting Yibby even if it is to vent feelings. I find it inspiring to be going through this with others no matter how up or down they may be, and it’s a privilege to have your thoughts shared with us.
Big hugs
Nicola x
(p.s. Anne - it’s Yibby not Yippy! Mind you with my chemo brain I struggle to spell my own forum name correctly let along other peoples’ x 
)
Hi all Sapphires. I know some of us are hitting ‘the wall’ a bit with their treatment-I know I have been. But most of us are half way there-keep strong.
Nicola-my eyes are looking a bit ropey too. Despite 9pm bedtimes I’m getting dark circles and my eye brows are looking a bit sad too ( I usually have a ‘mono brow’ if I don’t pluck and I’m v dark haired). I have my first dose of taxotere tomorrow and i’m a tad nervous. Did they double your steroid dose? I have to take 4 tabs twice a day for 3 days. Hope you enjoyed your Looking Good session-the freebies are amazing.
I also saw my onc today-my ultrasound wasn’t very clear as the boundaries were difficult to see so they estimated that it had reduced by 1mm (yes mm-never have mm seemed like such a big deal!!). My onc was’t worried as clinically it seems to be getting smaller-but like I said earlier in the thread taxotere is the big hitter.
Also has anyone any info about L-glutamine in realtion to chemo?. It was highly recommended to me by a lady I met at the Haven yesterday who went through chemo. Its meant to help with peripheral neuropathy and muscle pain.
Yibby-I forgot to add I’m so sorry about your loss especially at such a difficult time.
I know how frustrating it can be when you can’t get the help you need. I’m also someone who was extremely active before my diagnosis (Bikram yoga 3-5 times a week) and now I feel as weak as a kitten. Be kind to yourself-this treatment is as tough as it gets. Vent away on this forum and take care xx
Thank Nicola, it just shows what the chemo brain registers. Sorry Yibby!!!
Sukiem good luck for first tax, hope se arent too different,
i should be on 3rd fec tomorrow and most of you have noticed cumulative effect so thats what im expecting but nearly didnt get nurse visit for the bloods. good job someone else says they get forgotten or i would have sat here all day waiting. i now know to phone the main office day before and make sure they know about me.
fingers crossed bloods are fine and it goes ahead.
Yes sukiem i also say stay strong to all, it is getting a bit much, but i have started my notebook and finding little things to be grateful for. today it was the bright sunshine.
i also had a nice result yesterday, i am remembering to post something nice, a friend gave me free voucher at local garden centre, so i met up with a mate for free coffees and 2 fat scones!
thanks Sapphires, you are so important to me right now xxxxxxxxxx
Hello Anne-good luck with your 3rd FEC. I heard journals/diaries are v helpful. I too find the Sapphires great as I’m quite a private person in real life! xx
just to update you as this is easier than loads of texts, chemo 3 went ahead after 5 hours on the ward today. daft district nurse pulled part of my picc line out by accident yest and thought id better tell someone, this meant an xray to make sure it was in right place and then lonnnnnggg wait before someone looked at xray then time for syringes of lovely healing chemicals. thats halfway there, love to all xxxx
this is my lazy pasting of my facebook message to my friends!!!
today was a long day, and then drove home no-one asked about the g-csf?? injections which i had last time, so phoned ward and have to go back tomorrow to get!!! bum. is it our job to write it down and remember to ask? its another lesson to write down for next time. so i dont forget,
nicola, hows the tax been.
this should mean i sleep better, eh
Hi Anne-no its not your job to remember and the doctors usually fax down the prescription on the day of your appt to make sure you get it! I had my 1st taxotere today and the nurse went through all my meds in great detail.
We did have an argument about cold cap though as she insisted it was pointless to go ahead with it with tax treatment as i’d lose my hair anyway-it did get a bit heated for a while. I pointed out that I’d had 3 FEC with cold cap and cold cap was given as an option in my pre chemo assessment. I do suspect cold cap wearers are seen as a resource problem as they take up so much time- I was told today the unit was short staffed and that they were busy. I did get it in the end and otherwise the nurse was great.
Hi to all the Sapphires x
Hi all Sapphires. Just popping in to say hello and have a moan! No seriously, I think monaing is good, I get lots of comments from friends and family saying " you are so positive" " you are an inspiration" “keep fighting” “you look so well” " you look great" “being bald really suits you - you have a nice shaped head”. I do appreciate people are really concerned and want you to know that they are thinking of you and routing for you and they want to say something positive and nice but sometimes you don’t feel strong, or positive, or inspirational and I know I definitely don’t look good! I am bald, have put on loads of weight, have a big bue bit of tubing (PICC line) sticking out of my arm, have no eyebrows or eyelashes, walking with a limp due to severe bone pain in hips and gerenally feel horrid. When people say “You look so well” I think “God what the HELL did I look like before Chemo - I must have looked like death warmed up - because I feel worse than that now”. Sometimes its good to be honest. I got out of the bath the other day and put my big fluffy dressing gown on and my hubby, who has such a way with words, said “Welcome, Uncle Fester has joined us! Can I get you tea, coffee, wine, gin?” Wish I could have had the gin - lucked out with cocoa instead! I have hit the wall a bit with the treatment. I was quite positive on the first two FEC - I even got a bit cocky and said “Chemo Bah Humbug - cam’t see what all the fuss is about.” Well FEC 3 hit me and hit me bad. I have had achey bone pain, joint pain and horrid spine pain, dreaful tiredness and dizziness since and I had FEC 3 weeks and weeks ago! I am due to have 2nd Tax tomorrow and then one more to go and I will be so relieved. I can’t wait to get it finished. Mind you I still have surgery and rads to go. And then the reconstruction. Then check ups and scans, Tamoxifen, early menopause and the constant worry that it will come back. And not finding the oncologists and chemo staff very helpful at the moment. All I get it is “Well SE’s perfectly normal on chemo, you are doing well, blah blah blah” You try it mate - see how well you do! Anyway, rant over. I just wanted to say well done to all you ladies who are going through this - its not nice, pleasant fun or anything any of us ever want to do ever again, I am sure none of this put it in our life plan but we all are muddling through somehow and I just want to wish all of you well and good luck with your treatment. I hope whatever they chuck at you, you are able to tolerate it - with a moan or a grump or stocial stiffupper lip or a smile! - and know that once we are done we can throw our hats or wigs up in the air and say “B@*&£r off, chemo - I took you on and I am still here!” And I will say it with my tongue sticking out - Maori warrior style!