Also good luck for your surgery Em, hope all is ok for you
Hi, I know that its very late, but had steroids again and not tired as usual.
Thanks Spookymoo for kind thoughts, I am having last chemo tax, tomorrow and hoping that it will not be any worse than the last one. Then on 4th feb off to have ct sim scan for rads etc, is it very bad or ok Anne? Mine start on 20th feb so not much rest from chemo really.
I wish that I could not feel so tired, keep nodding off when I don’t expect to and find that my TV programme has finished, then rewind it then go off again!
Well suppose I should go to bed now as otherwise won’t be able to get up to get my daughter on her taxi in the morning.
hi ladies, I hope you are all well and for those of you recovering from surgery hope you’re not feeling too sore.
surgery-wise all seems fine - my drains went last week - glad to see the back of them as they were a real pain and i lived in fear of catching them on a cupboard door and yanking the tube clean out of my side! they have taken my bandages off now too - think i preferred them on as my massive scar does not look pretty and it’s also really sore wearing a bra/prosthesis. going bra-free is not really a viable option though given my ‘new’ boob now lives inside my bra!
am getting the full path report today although have already found out that the cancer was in 13 out of 16 lymph nodes which is very much not the news i was hoping to get. i can only hope the next bout of chemo plus the rads will help on that front. am trying to focus on the positives - they got clear margins and my ct scan was clear. and as much as i don’t relish the thought of any more chemo i’d rather be given the chance to kick some cancer butt especially as I’m TN and there are no targeted meds for me.
so i am now going to start six cycles of chemo (gemcarbo) next week probably followed by 25 rads. which by my reckoning takes me all the way to july 
on the bright side at least my hair should grow during gemcarbo - yippee - i will be so happy to see the back of my headscarves and hat… at the moment it’s just very short fuzz. has anyone else managed to ditch the hats for an ‘elfin cut’ yet?
spooky moo best of luck with both your bone scan and the op - make sure you enjoy the meds - i know the morphine made me feel lovely and spaced when i came round from my mx 
samx
Em-I hope your op goes well on Friday. As Sam very rightly says enjoy the morphine-its wonderful. I was bugging the nurses every 2 hours for mine (in fact all the women on the ward did-they give it to you orally in big syringes). Also make sure you get decent pain relief when you get out. Although despite my op I’ve not had much pain-the bruising is quite impressive though.
Anne-you made me laugh mentioning your ‘wispy lady garden’. What can I say but I really do know what you mean.
Storyso far-well done for getting to your last tax. Strangely my final chemo was the ‘best’ in terms of s/es (relatively speaking).
Sam, I’ve still got one drain in.I can’t believe in the 21st century that the drain bottles have to be huge!
I’ve got my unbandaging appt tomorrow and also my path report. I’m not looking forward to it either as I know my tumour was ‘sitting’ on my muscle and I’m praying for clear margins.
I’m pleased that they got clear margins with you and best of luck with your chemo and rads.
Hi to all the other Sapphires too xx
Hi lovely ladies. I am in between hospital visits at the minute - radioactive dye in with great difficulty - 4 attempts! In the end it had to be put in the main vein in my wrist and its hurting like buggery - not fun!!! This will be the remnanants of the poxy chemo. Thank you chemo I knew I could rely on you to give the gift of giving so many weeks on! Have to go back in an hour for the scan so thought I would post quickly! Tomorrow I am packing my bag for my spa break (!)) and also meeting up with friends for lunch - nice to do something non-cancer related for a change. And then its D-day - looking forward to saying goodbye to the sucker! Sorry I ramble.
I just wanted to say, pegglass, you did make me laugh too with your “wispy lady garden!” Who knew we could have so much fun on chemo?
Good luck Story sofar for your last chemo tomorrow! I hope all goes well. I found the last one very quick and I couldn’t wait to get the hell out of there! So hoping all goes well for you and you start to feel better soon. And good luck for the appt for Rads on 4th Feb. I have ages to wait for that “adventure” so please let us know how you get on. And the tiredness does eventually ease off a bit - just rest when you can because your body needs to heal itself.
Dear Sam. glad to hear you have got rid of your drains (dreading them!) It must be a bit grim with the scar - I hope it fades down for you and the pain eases. I am thinking of you today regarding your path report. You have had full node clearance (?) so they have got all the buggers in your nodes. And they got clear margins which is good! And your ct scan clear. I know its hard but you have to try and stay focussed - being positive is difficult, being cantakerous and angry with the sucker may be better. Its what’s working for me at the moment! sending you hugs all will be good - fingers, toes, everything crossed for you. Good luck for your new chemo regime (it is a regime! Clue in the name! Gruelling - that’s a good word for it!) next week. I know you can’t be looking forward to it - but you are right - you have got to kick that cancer’s butt!
Sukie - I shall have to refer to you as “one Drain Sue” from now on! Good luck for tomorrow for your “unveiling” and also for your path report. Everything crossed for clear margins. And I hope you eventually get the damned drain out.
And Anne hope you enjoy your time next week back in the real world, Not CANCERLAND - which is populated by fairies and angels (us), mythical heros on white steeds with great big guns (doctors) fighting nasty trolls and orcs (and we know who they are!). If anyone had explained to me where this ticket would take me I would have asked for a refund!
Well girls, we are nearly there. Not quite out of the woods yet though. My bottle of bubbly will have to stay chillin for a bit longer. Just wanted to send all of you some magic fairy dust - think we could all do with some! Take care all you lovely ladies.
Em x
Sam, lovely to get your update, remember the scar will look so different in a few months, and you are doing so well, and whilst the path report is a worry you know you had clear margins.
story so far, rads planning is a doddle, you get moved around a bit before going in the polo, but not painful, little stratch as they pinpoint your little tattoos,
Sukie, good luck for your reports and results, the drain sound yuck but hey you are at home.i hope it comes out soon.
Thanks Em for such a long and great post, especially as you have lots of think about. i wish you well for friday, its come round quick.thanks for the fairy dust, i went to the log cabin again and was a bit shaky. the others are much older than me and a long way on the recovery path. have been going to meetings for months, one lady has had worry of recurrance having found something on other boob. its a scary time, but good to share in nice surroundings. makes me stop and consider others.
as i talked about fear, there was a quote from someone -
Scarred, Scared, Sacred - to consider our journeys.
and also it the candlemass celebration on saturday which is the Awakening of bringing new light, cant remember all the background but you can imagine whatever light you need, inner spiritual, sunlight, healing light,moonlight, etc. i will add that to Em’s fairy dust and hold it tight for courage. I couldnt visualize the light i would need but perhaps a lightness in our hearts when things have been hard. we have all had our hard days, after leaving there i find that fear or loneliness comes back and as i sat on the sofa, i took comfort in the sunlight through the window.
the group operates around the seasons and the nature calendar, im probably not selling it very well!!! hope you get the gist. i probably sound like a wierdo/hippy. i am interested in spiritual stuff tho.
might sound a bit out there but im just sharing my day!!!
big love to you all
Anne
Hi fellow Sapphires
Hope your all doing ok and getting through this nightmare. I have now had 22 rads so only another 3 to go and just as I thought I was getting off lightly with no side effects I developed an itchy rash on my back. Have been informed that it is Shingles!! apparently a common occurance with people who have had chemo. Thought my rads were going to be cancelled but they will carry on as they see this regularly but have to be very cautious as its very contagious so looks like i’m in quarantine for a while except my trips to rads appointments. Never mind I will just have to watch more day time tv and maybe do some online shopping as I will not be able take part in my local retail therapy sessions (bank balance will be sighing with releif!).
Have a fun day Sapphires and take good care of yourselves
Lol
Hi Sappires,
Just wondering if any of you have breast lymphodema and have you been referred to The Lymphodema specialist or been given any advice?
Joan
Sorry Joan, cant help you with that. - have you asked the helpline?
After yesterday and today i cant help but feel pretty low and flat, cant even tell you why, I wonder whether it is coming down from the 6th chemo, have seen friends and tried to keep myself busy. I must tell myself it will pass.
anyone else the same??
much love
Anne xxx
Hi all - my surgery seems to have gone well. I was home the next day, and now have a swollen boob that I hope will uninflate soon!
I get the histology report next Friday, so till then it’s fingers and toes crossed.
xx
Well done Pegglass, good to hear from you xxxxx keep well and be gentle
Hi everyone,
Today I don’t seem to feel quite so bad. Chemo went not too badly, even though still wanted to get up and run away, as I was busy playing " Battleships" on the Ipad with my husband, who has been wonderful all the way through all, this bit of a do!
Actually this last chemo has been better with SE’s, touch wood so far, don’t know if its because I am drinking so so much more water as I just can’t stop drinking the tap empty.
Thanks Anne for details re rads feel better about it now,
also thanks to all others who have given me good information and vibes this week. I really have needed it.
Hi Sapphires
We have gone really quiet on this thread - how is everyone doing? Hopefully you are all recovering well and moving on from chemo to rads etc. I have finished rads with no real se’s just tired but that seems to be the norm for me now. Still feeling the effects of my shingles but it is definately getting better. Will be starting the next phase on Wednesday-18 sessions of herceptin (not all in one go I hope). I have been told that after chemo & rads this should be a walk in the park but when you feel constantly shattered that doesn’t seem comforting!! The tamoxifen effect seems a bit more manageable at the moment with the help of my chillow and the cold weather it’s not too bad.
Keep well Sapphires
Lol
I’ve not been posting much 'cos I don’t have much to report - which is a good thing!
My relatively uneventful chemo was followed by uneventful surgery, and that was followed by an uneventful histology report (good margins, no lympho-vascular involvement, very low proliferation, high ER/PR scores) and now all I have to do is get through rads in a similarly uneventful way!
I have the CT and prep appointment tomorrow, then 25 rad doses starting Feb 27. I’m spreading the rads over 25 instead of 15 doses to minimise side effects. I’ll go on Tamoxifen a week or two after rads are finished.
My new hair is fluffy and soft, and I go out now with no hat or scarf (weather permitting), and no-one seems to mind. They may think I’m a skin-head and are afraid I’ll beat them up! Eyelashes are making an appearance, as are brows - though I think I’ll carry on with the Browzings. I’m about 10lb up on Day 1, so am now making a bit of an effort to get healthy before Tamoxifen buggers everything up again!
All the best to all Sapphires!
Peg
Hi everyone well the joy of seromas continues! No 2 has been drained and no 3 is starting to inflate. Even my lovely surgeon can’t fix that! And path results back. 5/19 nodes involved but no vascular involvement (is that good?) er +7/8 pr+7/8 proliferation 2 (I think)? But didn’t get clear margin, found some DCIs and a small tumour near original tumour so am going back in in March to have a pizza slice taken out. Not been a good day. And man, Oscar pistorius news as well.pants x not so positive today. But my oh has just informed me all cucumbers are 39p at lidl. Still doesn’t cheer me up. hope you guys are having a better day x
Spookymoo - sometimes a girl needs more than a cucumber to keep her happy!
I hope your next op puts paid to the bugger.
Hey Em, good to read you, but gutted on the info and another op. but dci, is better news though, its not gone outside your boob. the node results are good though arent they, cant comment on the other stuff because i dont understand it! and as for cucumbers, mine cost 99p today so i am very jealous!
keep your chin up mate, you can do this, you will find your strength again and just write whatever you need to on here, thats what we are here for.
lots of love mate, wish i could send something more uplifting.
as for me have done first week of rads, all fairly easy but cold hands getting on your boobs isnt nice, its quick though. fed up of reading bad effects of tamoxifen so am going with positivity that it wont affect me.
love to everyone else, glad we have been posting again
Anne xxx
Hi Anne thanks for your post it lifted my spirits. I have a very weird vision of blue hands groping boobs. Surreal! Think I am going slightly crazy. I am off the Tamoxifen at the moment. I wish I could say the rumours about se’s are unfounded but I didn’t have a great time on the Tamoxifen. As if any of us are rocking the cancer trip at the moment which totally sucks! I had terrible night sweats and mood swings - kinda like a hot. Sweaty, jack Nicholson character from The shining, running around with a headscarf. With a mad joker like smile because my makeup melting from the sweaty side effects. And a random cucumber being waved! Thanks peg - you are right cucumbers are not always all they are cracked up to be. God,I need a life. I have lost the plot! Now I have had time to gather my thoughts things are too not too and could be a lot worse. Just another small op. No biggie. So all good. I am now officially manning up.
I will get my mojo back. And sorry for being so selfish and maudlin. Hope all you sparkling ladies are doing well and kicking the you-know-what the you-know-where. As Anne said glad we are posting again. Hugs to you all. Emx
Em, never selfish, this is the one place we can do that, and i have done my fair share!!- as you well know and have been so great at helping.
We had a lot of sun today and it should have made me cheery, but i decided to be grumpy instead, cant tell you why, just a feeling i couldnt shake off, hope you got out if you were able to and enjoyed it. i did go down the seafront to walk out my mood so feel better that i didnt just linger indoors and annoy the oh.
peg i am the same with my hair, fluffy on top, not much on the sides, i did go without hat for a while out at the beach, and tend to remove it once i am in a shop.
big love to the sparklers
anne xxx
Hey Ladies,
It’s a good while since I posted anything am still rolling with the punches…I’ve completed radiotherapy now and gosh that was like a walk in the park compared to chemotherapy!!! Herceptin till November started tamoxfen. Well between the herceptin, tamoxfen, joint aches, hot flushes and night sweats I don’t know if I’m coming or going LOL
My hair has decided to grow back which is ‘great’ but I just want to know why I’ve got more ‘greys’ than before the treatment… mmmmm!
As I’m sitting here typing away I’ve had about 2 hot flushes followed by a sweating nightmare. I promised myself that I wasn’t going to moan and whine because I was in so much pain feel like 80 now…Hope you lovie ladies are hanging in there and taking what is happening to us in your stride…
Take care Yibby xx