And so we stand together,joining hands and minds
watching and hoping,sometimes a ,prayer
Sometimes a curse or two…or more.
We mourn those gone so far from us that cyber space no longer holds them.
We open our circle and our hearts to those who arrive;
tentative and terrified wanting to be told ‘alls well’,
Waiting.They take our hands and the circle expands to include them.
Some go on their way rejoicing others stay and keep the vigil.
We stand together through the years always changing;always the same.
Thank you Horace. It’s beautiful.
Margaret
Oh Horace, so well put. Maybe we need a Poetry thread/forum on the new website?
Love
Lindsey.
My effort:
The Big Sea.
Oops, that new , I’ve never felt that before!
Oh I’m sure its grand - everything I’ve ever read says most lumps are benign.
I push aside thoughts of my Mother, diagnosed with Breast Cancer at 54.
I am 9 years younger at 45.
But hey, she’s still going strong at 75, she never made a big deal of it, always so unselfish. I appreciate that better now.
It’s a week before Christmas. I was a Christmas baby. So what surprise lays in store for me this year?
A gentle handshake from the doctor, “it’s a small lump“, then later in the conversation , “its cancer,” -in case I hadn’t quite understood. I used to think, in a vague “what if “way, that if anyone said those words to me, I would crumple in a heap.
Not so. The practical Me takes over, noting down the facts in my shaky scrawl on a notebook which my father hands me as we walk in. He has two new notebooks to offer me, I take the smaller one saying “I hope this is all I’ll need“.
Dad, the world honoured surgeon, has no training for this consultation. I’m his child at any age, the only girl.
Out to my Mother in the waiting room, I put my arm around her shoulder, “yes, it is”. No further words needed. Our bond strengthened, not that it needed to be,
Soon I have to tell my daughter, she’s trying to be brave but she’s only 15 - such a great girl, my lifebuoy - or should that be life girl?
3 brothers to tell ,each reacting in their own way. I’m trying to make it easier for those around me.
Now tell my girlfriends, fear and compassion on their faces, long hugs, lots of laughter and tears. Always there for me.
So here I am, in the sea, letting its power take over, for what choice is there?:
Waves of love, prayer , support all washing over me,
Scans, blood tests, radio active injections, surgery, chemotherapy, radiotherapy, - each one a new wave knocking me off my feet, I stumble but I do get my balance back, invisible hands helping me up.
My hair washing away - I hardly recognise myself in the mirror. The hardest of all.
At times I’m comfortable in these waters, I always loved swimming .
I’m holding my head up high , kicking steadily underneath , I want to show my loved ones , watching from the shore that “I am great thanks, I’m doing great.”
Other times, it is hard work, I’m tired and sore and the waves come over my head, engulfing me.
I guess that’s why they call it ‘The Big C’?
Horace and Katie
I’ve read some well-meant but trite words about cancer over the last few years (there is a particularly awful, huge, framed one in the chemo unit at my hossie - which implies that you will get better. For me, diagnosed at stage iv from the outset, it has never comforted…) but I very much respect the sentiments behind your passionate words here.
Wishing you both the very best,
Jenny
x
Hi Jenny the trouble is that the flood of feeling unleashed by a cancer dx is almost impossible to express.We have different ways of saying 'I am here,I have no choice,I have a sh** disease.'I am always so aware that what I write can be trite or sentimental and,on the forums I tend to direct it towards the sometimes overwhelming sense of sisterhood and support I have received from the two websites I visit.The words above were in response to some of the humbling posts I have read on here.I dont think words can comfort for more than a fleeting moment when someone may identify and say,'Yes I feel like that too.'As for getting better…
Love and luck to you,Valxx
Horace
Thank you
Just says everything!
Love and take care
Thistle
xxx
Hi Horace
Like Jenny I sniff out the trite and the sentimental like a dog on heat…
but I think your words say something very true and special about cancer in cyber space.
Thank you
Jane
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Dear cavabien,
What wonderful words.
You have put into words exactly how I feel at the minute and as I ahve been for the last few weeks.
Especialy the part about “I do not want you to come down into the hole to meet me. I will not share the darkness with you but please raech out for me”
Would you mind if I shared your words with some of the ladies that belong to a support group for younger women. I know some of them will identify with it.
Thank you for sharing it with us here.
Ruth
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Dear cava that is so beautifully expressed and incredibly moving.Thank you for sharing.Valxx
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