Following on from ‘being hit by a bus’ thread I thought it would be interesting to have a thread about funny injuries and how they were sustained…
I once fell out of the bath - basically was trying to get out too quick and caught my foot on the side of the bath - on instict put my arm out to protect myself and smashed my writs off the toilet bowl!!! Was taken to A&E for x-rays and luckily it was not broken but they strapped it til the swelling went down … returned to school the next day and when asked what I had done I didn’t have the gumption to lie and say I had tripped over a rug or the dog … how uncool did I feel when all my mates fell about laughing!
Not really funny- but true;
When I was 14 I played for the school hockey team and was always in the 2nd eleven,all the best players where in the 1st so I tried my best to get there.So I was picked, right back, and was so pleased.We had a match against another school on a foggy Saturday morning,and off we go.It was really foggy,but the game went ahead.The next thing I knew I was spinning around and as I fell to the floor I remember looking down and my yellow bib was orange with blood.The other player had hooked the ball,a fair move, and it smashed into my face,taking a chunk out of my lip and knocking my teeth towards the back of my mouth.I wore a plastic brace for months to straighten my teeth and luckily only lost one, having a crown placed on my top front tooth I have a scar on my lip to show this event.This crown snapped off about 3 months ago and I am now without a front tooth as I want to get this treatment out of the way before any dentist treatment.
I updated my Friends Re-United page after dx in Oct and as my school mates had bought me cuddly tigger i commented that if I can get through a hockey ball in the mouth I can get through this and I had an e- mail from a girl who had played on the opposing team and who remembered me.She has a friend who has gone through bc and wanted to wish me well.
Every year I take my grandson on holiday. The first time was when he was five. We were playing crazy golf and he was swinging, as kiddies do, with the club going backwards and forward between his legs. For some reason he then took an almighty swing roind his shoulder. It wacked me round the head and I passed out. I was told that he continued to play golf!!
My head swelled up twice the size and I was kept in at the local hospital. His mum and dad had to drive from Northampton to Devon to avoid him being put in a care home.
As he happily waved goodbye ,about 3am, he told me what a lovely holiday he was having!
Oh dearie me here goes!!!
Dancing to the song Jingo Rock at a wedding and slipping over and breaking my leg and having to be carried out by a couple of men!!!
Dancing yet again to a madness tribute band at Butlins (adult party weekend) and jumped barefoot onto a large piece off glass because I had taken my heels off. The blood was pouring out and these guys were about to help me off the dance floor, when to there horror I yanked the piece of glass out, put my shoes on and carried on dancing as I had been waiting for this group all weekend!!
Jumping off a chair at butlins yet again in my high heels and damaging my knee so badly I needed physio!
And the best one yet was last November, yes you have guessed it at butlins yet again. My friend had got really drunk really early and we had to go back to the chalet and I was not a happy bunny as the partying was going on in full swing! I drank a large quanity of vodka to drown my sorrows, was talking to my friend on my mobile while on the loo, she told me I should go and lie down as I was so drunk. Next thing I know I fell off the toilet backwards naked I might add and knocked myself out on the tiled wall. My friend called the first aid people but because I had knocked myself out and had a head injury I had to go to hospital to be checked out. Boy was I embarassed the next day and boy did I feel ill with the headache from hell!
I am sure I will remember a few more.
(This time at butlins I slipped over in the hotel reception, but it wasnt drink it was something on the floor honest)!!!
Jules, which Butlins, so I can avoid accidents ha ha
Funny enough my grandson knockout was at Butlins too. They gave me a free holiday afterwards.
When I was a student, I had a horrendous stomach upset which involved numerous trips to the loo. At that time I was sharing a cottage with other students. I dashed into the loo for the umpteenth time and as I got up from the loo I passed out and fell into the bath, breaking my nose. One of my male ‘flatmates’ heard the noise, broke the door down only to find me nose down in the bath with my bum sticking out as I was only wearing a skimpy T-shirt at the time! Needless to say he took great delight in telling everyone at the student bar that night and I was the laughing stock for several days! We’re still great friends though and he thought it was hilarious when he told my own kids the tale!!
Maryfrod lol I don’t think its butlins I think its me and the demon drink lol xxxxx
Naunamh, I couldn’t really expect a free holiday since mine was very much self inflicted. I remember sitting there telling the doctor how much I had drunk and felt so so mortified! I have been pretty sensible since to be honest the whole thing was quite a learning curve!
It sounds funny, but apart from liver damage, I could have killed myself because I hit the back of my head on the tiles!
Years back my now-ex-husband was spoiling for an arguement - eventually I retaliated with a comment and he took umberage to what I said and he raised his hand to slap me (the 1st time he had ever done that) - I reacted by lifting my hand both to defend myself and point at him and tell him back off … unfortunately I was peeling potatoes at the time and still had the paring knife in my hand - just the way it happened I sort of stabbed him, not a massive cut but enuff to need a couple of stitches … now the big man who was brave enuff to try to hit me (I’m 5’1" btw so not exactly a challenge to a grown man) was not brave enuff to deal with his own blood and see the doctor on his own … so there I was sitting like the dutiful wife when the doctor asked how he had cut himself … of course he was too embarrassed to say so he made up some guff about summit inthe garden … where upon I piped up ‘that’s shite, I stabbed him with the tattie knife!’ Luckily the GP let is slide and I didn’t get had up for GBH with a blade!
Needless to say he never went to hit me again and slept with one eye open for fear that I might reach for a pillow to rest on his face at nights!
Oh god thats awful Lilac, are you still with this man, I hope not!!!
Nah I ditched him fairly soon after that … he was a waste of space to be honest but I was young and stupid when I got married.
I did manage to mortify him by tellig all his pals why he had stitches tho … and one of them bought me a potato peeler
ha ha thats funny!
you say about being young and stupid, I have friends who are old and still stupid and keep going back and dating the same types of abusive controlling men, why???
I will never look at my potoato peeler in the same light again! love FB xxx
my OH and I have always had trouble sleeping in the same bed - one of us is a very light sleeper but tosses and turns all night and grinds teeth - the other is a very heavy sleeper who talks and snores and steals the covers so it just doesn’t work very well.
We gave up a few years ago and now have 2 single beds. Prior to that we used to start in the same room and one of us would give up and go and sleep in the spare bed - we would only manage to spend 1 entire night together a month. It was crazy.
Well, when we first got together (20 years ago) it was worse as we only had a small double and a 2 -seater sofa. And I used to seriously get the hump when he’d disappeared from the bed in the morning …
One day (this is starting to sound like a Monty Python sketch) we forgot to go shopping and we had almost run out of anything to eat. I managed to concoct something - he didn’t like it but ate it anyway as he was hungry.
To cut a long story short he couldn’t sleep that well that night and decided to try sleeping on the floor. The next day I was at work and got a call to say I had to take him to the doctors as he was too ill to drive …
…at the doctors …
… the doctor examined him and asked him if he had any pain in his back … he said “yes - but I think that’s from sleeping on the floor - I was scared to get back in the bed in case she got upset when i woke her up!” …
Doctor sadi nothing but looked at me in disbelief
… later he then he asked him what he had been eating … yes you’ve guessed it …
OH : I ate xxxxxx - but I’m not keen on it
Doctor : why did you eat it - perhaps your body was trying to tell you something - I think you are allergic to it
OH : I try and avoid eating it but FizBix made dinner I had to eat it as i didn;t want to upset here and there wasn’t anything else in the house…!
… was I embarrassed or was I embarrassed … I tried to start explaining things and just dug a bigger and bigger hole and OH just sat there looking all ill …I never ever saw that doctor again!
love FB xxxx
I would just like to say that this was the one and only night in 20 years that he has slept on the floor
sounds like GPs across the land are destined to think of us as homicidal maniacs then
Well I am so glad this thread is on here.
I was out with my mum last night, it was a 30 year service dinner, she got her gold watch earlier this year.
Anyway the band were playing, they were great and everyone was having a great old time.
It was free, so of course meant free drink.
So there we all are dancing away etc and there is 1 lady smaller than me (I’m 5’4) giving it all on the dance floor.
She was a larger lady with an ample bossom (yes I was jealous) but boy could she move.
So anyways there she is bopping away and the next thing this poor lady slips backwards and bounces her head off the dance floor.
She was knocked out cold, and lying like she was making a cross. The dance floor cleared and the band stopped.
Luckily enough there was a nurse in the crowd and she sorted her out.
Oh yeah and Friday 13th wasn’t that good for my hubby.
He has decided he is a teenager and started mountain biking.
He was out with a couple of mates from work.
So they decide to do 1 last trail before they head home.
He landed badly and hit a tree splitting his helmet, he is in agony and I am cross because he was meant to finish painting my hall 
She came round quite quick but kept asking how many years service she had completed.
The boss was telling me this and said that she wasn’t sure if it was the bang on the head or the copious amounts of alcohol she had consumed.
Needless to say she left early and I am sure she has the headache from hell today.
I felt so sorry for her because she was really enjoying herself.
I don’t blame you for being cross with your husband - I mean not only will you have an unfinished hallway but he will also have to pay for a new helmet lol … tell him he can’t get a new one until the hallway is finihed!
Glad he’s not got srious head injuries tho.
I know I was rather peeved with my son when he crashed the car and I sat in the A&E dept for hours and ALL he had was a broken wrist … I mean how inconsiderate was that - I think hours sitting there should have warrented a broken leg at least! Once I got over the narky stage I was releived tho that he had not broken his back or his neck - or even his leg.
When I was a teenager I had terrible acne, which didn’t usually bother me, as when I took my specs off I couldn’t see my face anyway. However, it really REALLY annoyed my mum and she kept buying me various potions and nagging me to use them. They were stored in the bathroom cabinet above the loo. I am the family short ar*e and had to stand on the toilet to reach into the cupboard.
One night, I went to the loo, then decided to use some of this useless gunk mum kept purchasing. I stood on the side of the plastic “seat”, not the outer, the ladies inner. Somehow I fell into the toilet. The inside of a plastic toilet seat is VERY VERY sharp!
Mum was out and dad wouldn’t (he claims couldn’t) hear me call. So I had to limp downstairs, bleeding on every tread, to attract his attention! He had to take me to the docs for stitches, and a tetanus shot, and had to clean the blood off the stairs later!
At least I got out of scottish country dancing at school, and have very interesting scars under my left knee!