Today I have used possibly all the swear words known to humankind.

A lot of people (who don’t have cancer) have called me inspirational with the way that I ‘cope’ with my illness (secondaries in my bones)… I call my friend Lesley inspirational, as she is an absolutely amazing person who just gets on with things. She has a lovely husband and 2 beautiful kids.

Today I found out the <insert swear=“” word=“” of=“” your=“” choice=“” here=“”> cancer has spread to her brain. She has gone home and it seems like it’s days rather than any other time frame left…</insert>

To say I am devastated is an understatement.

Tomorrow I go to Cornwall with the girls for a week - I am going to stand in the sea and scream until my lungs get sore. I am so angry at cancer for being indiscriminate and for affecting wonderful fantastic people. There are murderers, pedophiles and rapists out there, who live their lives quite comfortably with no illnesses or strife. If there WAS a god, then cancer would be dished out to them, not on wonderful and honest people…

I hate cancer and everything it does - not just to us but to our loved ones.

So sorry to hear this & just wanted to sends hugs.

tricia xx

Hi poannie, I understand as jennywren was my inspiration, I miss her, especially so today, a beautiful day she is not here to see.
Take Care…x.x.x

Hi Joannie, I am sorry to hear this news about your friend. I have lost many close friends along the way some of them so much younger than me and with so much life still left to live. They wanted to be here to see their children grow up…but it wasn’t to be. A few months before I was even diagnosed, one close friend died leaving 4 beautiful daughters under the age of 9 years. I don’t know why or how this bl**dy disease works but I do know that everyone is different. Cornwall is such a beautiful place ( infact I am spending most of July there) and I cannot think of a better place to have a loud scream! I hope you have a wonderful holiday and manage to recharge your batteries. Your friend would want you to enjoy your holiday…don’t let her down by feeling miserable. Life is for living and that is just what you should do. Take care Joannie. Love Val

Dear J – crying & screaming with you. And of course Val is right – you must have a good time on your hols, as your friend would be so sad if you don’t.

Dear Belinda – looking forward to seeing you soon, but yes, there will be a huge upsetting Jenny-shaped hole in our day at the beach. Again, we’ll take Val’s advice and live life as Jenny would have wanted, gazing at beach-huts & the sea, eating Heidi pies and laughing as much as possible.

Sending you both much love (and to you as well, Val), Marilyn xx

So looking forward to a lovely (sunny!) day at the beach Marilyn. :slight_smile:

Oh poannie I so feel for you, this b… disease makes me feel so helpless when you see so many wonderful blameless women struck down by it, it’s so unfair.

Have a fantastic scream in Cornwall and let it all out. Wish I could help.

Sending love and hugs Anne x x

Hi Poannie

I know just what you mean. Angry is the right word. It is the overwhelming emotion I have about mine and all the other lovely women this dreadful disease is affecting. What makes me even more angry are the web sites that tell you how to ‘avoid’ cancer by not smoking, taking regular exercise, not being over wight and having a good diet…it hasn’t made the slightest difference in my situation - I still got cancer! I beastfed both of my children for the first twelve months of thier lives too! Fat lot of good that did me too!

Cornwell is one of my most favourite holiday destinations, we have had fab family holidays there for many years - yes, have a good shout/scream but don’t feel guilty about enjoying yourself. No one on here would begrudge any of us for living our lives to the full for as long as we are able to.

Hugs Sue x

I too understand. Angry f… livid sums it up better!!!

Strangely, My good friend Anneth died just before I went to Cornwall last year.I was dreading it as I was so upset and furious.When I eventually got there, I felt a strange sense of peace and beauty everywhere.

I know your friend is not dead but you may feel or sense her presence. I know that sounds odd.

I was mobbed by about 100 white butterflies one day.Cornwall is so pretty and serene that you somehow feel closer to nature.

You have every right to rage Poannie …dont let anyone tell you any different, but dont let your rage impact on your own rest and recuperation!!! Julie

Hello Poannie,
So sad to hear your news-life is very unfair. I too have lost younger friends along the way and feel for you all the way. Let Cornwall help you get back to yourself- my son lives there and we are often down there- such a beautiful county. Have you been to the Minack by the sea- go and see a performance if you haven’t.After you have had your big scream! Love Beatrice.

Hi Poannie,

So sorry to hear about your friend, go and enjoy your holiday in Cornwall, it’s such a beautiful place and I’m sure she would want you to enjoy it as we all do. Scream your head off if it helps. I want to scream several times a day at this horrid indiscriminate disease. I agree with Sue about all the websites and constant ‘in your face’ advice about all the things you should and shouldn’t do and then in the end it makes not one iota of difference. I lost my closest friend last year to lung cancer. It took her within 3 months and I was devastated and think about her and ‘talk’ to her every day.

So go and have a good time and take good care of yourself at the same time.

Lots of love, Dianne x x x

Hi Poannie,

So very sorry to hear about your friend,and understand completely how angry you are feeling. Go to Cornwall and have your scream at the begining of the week, and release some of that tension, and then enjoy your break,as your friend would want you too.

Take care of yourself,

Love Maryxx