A year before my diagnosis, my son was involved in an attack which left his 17 year old best friend dead. That year was the worst of my life for my whole family. I struggled with stress and depression during this year, diagnosis and treatment and finally decided to take antidepressants following the completion of my treatment, mainly to help me cope at work as anxiety attacks were beginning to affect my work.
After a year i tried to come off the tablets gradually but failed and went back on them. This was less than a year ago but I’ve gone part-time and have coped with work really well so decided to start reducing my dose 2 weeks ago, hoping to come off them completely over the next month. I’m down to half my normal dose.
But suddenly i’m wondering if i’m doing the right thing. A week ago a 17 year old boy was found, brutally murdered and i find it has affected my state of mind quite drastically. I can’t get it out of my mind and the anxiety has started to return. I’m now unsure what to do. I so wanted to leave the tablets behind and feel that i’d got my pre cancer life back but suddenly feel this may never happen.
I’d appreciate any advise, particularly from anyone who has successfully come of antidepressants. I went on to them in the honest belief it was a short term support and not something i would need for the rest of my life.
Regards
Kelley
Hi Kelley.
The last year sounds horrendous for you and your family. I havent taken anti depressants before so I cant advise you there but I am also prone to anxious thoughts and get myself quite stressed . Its a never ending cycle of not wanting to think about something and the more you try the more you think of it. Sadly there will be more teenagers who will suffer violent deaths and more women who are diagnosed with breast cancer , the news is all around us and is hard to avoid . Have you tried counselling of any sort ? through a local cancer charitry I am seeing someone through an emotional support program who I hope will get me to think in a different way thats the aim.
Sorry I cant be of more help but just wantde you to know the route I am following to cure anxiety. My siser is a hypnotherapist not local to me unfortunately but i know she deals with this type of thing too.
Cally x
hi Kelley, I was on anti depressants for thirteen years following working in the Belfast troubles for five years. I successfully came off them against advice. I was told I MUST always take them. I knew this was wrong, I no longer needed them.
The month after becoming free of them I was dx with cancer. But I have gone through mastectomy, chemo, a new dx of diabetes induced by the steroids and now rads without looking back. I had one or two moments when I wondered if I should start on the anti depressants again but did not and obviously this was right for me.
I understand the fears and the hopes. If you would like to PM me I would not mind sharing my experiences with you.
Margaret
It sounds as though it is too soon for you to come off the tablets just yet. Like Margaret, I was on antidepressants following a load of problems involving my son’s health and my mother dying etc etc. I knew when I felt strong enough to cope without having panic attacks (which are the most frightening and debilitating things possible). I still have major wobbles regarding my son, but at least have learned how to put things into perspective more. Do you think you would benefit with counselling to learn how to cope with dreadful events? They can’t change what happens in the world and in your life, but they will give you advice on how to cope with problems.
Thanks everyone for thoughts. I have had counselling in the past, particularly in the year after the killing, along with my son. It was the counsellor who suggested i see my GP as she thought i might need antidepressants and said she could see no point in struggling with life if there was help there for me. I’m still undecided. I took just half a tablet this morning and think i will carry on for a few days and see how it goes.
Hi Kelley
I’ve been on antidepressants for over eight years now and my GP said that he viewed the treatment as similar for high blood pressure, ie that you treat the symptons to get them under control and then keep the treatment going to prevent a recurrence.
I know how grim depression is and hope never to have it back so have not tried to come off the tablets. I’m ten months on from dx and haven’t had reactive depression to that and if there ever was a good reason to get it, I guess it comes highish on the list. Your experiences have been truly horrendous and I wish you well.
You mustn’t suddenly stop your tablets and don’t feel weak that you need help, everybody does at some point.
Dawnflower
xxxx