Dear all,
I was dx in 2004(bilateral mx, radiotherapy, AIs).Before breast cancer, I felt normal,OK at work etc.
After dx of course I was understandably anxious etc. I also had an oopherectomy at 40 and was consequently put through an abrupt and premature menopause.
I don’t know if it is the dx and treatment of cancer, or premature menopause which I think can have anxiety as a side effect, but I have this almost constant feeling of anxiety. This is in addition to the added anxiety of appt times etc.
This is joined by an awful lack of confidence, and combined with brain fog which I seem to have too, I’m not feeling too great!! I have seen a counsellor on and off but don’t really seem to be getting very far, which is making me feel even more useless!
I still work, but think I’m bad at that (have a manager who constantly makes critical comments about most people behind their back, and I’m pretty sure that I’m top of her list…).Everyday i have to listen to her telling me how wonderful the other person in our team is, how she couldn’t manage without her, and then she just looks at me with no comment!
I was wondering if anyone else has had this, and if so, have you found anything that works?
XXX
Hi Happy
I am coming up to 3 years and have the same feeling but no solutions - nothing helps. I was competent and normal before this, I have proof of that! I was cheeful and friendly, people liked my company. But now I am completely rubbish at work,failing at everything, no energy, feel ashamed and embarrassed by the mx and dodgy recon. I have to hide how I feel all the time from workmates and family as everyone says I have to move on - yet I never talk about it and I play the "It’s all over and I’m fine now " role. Only this morning i was told by a work colleague and a family member that I am like a little cloud of misery (had not actually said or done anything to provoke these comments other than just be me). Yet I am trying so hard to be cheerful and confident that I am permanently exhausted. Feel like I have fallen apart physically and emotionally and it’s pointless saying speak to the BCN or medics as I have not got a shred of confidence in them and actually I really, really wish i had never had that surgery. I wonder if life will ever be ok. Sorry everyone if I am depressing - stopped posting after pm’s in the past telling me that but Happy, it’s just the sum of what we have been through, I think.
Love to you
Jane x
Anxiety is DEFINITELY a symptom of the menopause - I can vouch for that! Unfortunately most ladies in our situation can’t take HRT to help alleviate the symptoms (although you could maybe see your gp about taking a betablocker or mild antidepressant). I find that cutting back on caffeine (I have decaff coffee and tea now), trying some relaxation methods (hypnotherapy, yoga, Tai Chi)and having a walk each day helps.
I also find I forget things, I have “brain fog” a lot of the time and I feel really tired. The only thing that keeps me going is thinking that my hormones will settle eventually and I will be more like my old self. I won’t be totally like my old self because, like you, I have had a traumatic experience with bc but hopefully life will be worth living again.
Love
Maude xx
Hi Jane and Maude,
Thank you so much for your postings.
Jane, I can completely relate to every word you have written - it’s exactly how I feel, what I have experienced and yes, I too had an awful recon experience (have had removed thankfully). Don’t apologise for saying you sound depressing - you’re not,you’re just saying it as it is.
Maude, thanks for confirming this is a symptom of the menopause. I have done all the things like no caffeine etc but it is still here. I may well pay (yet another) trip to the drs and see what he suggests - it is there all the time!
I think we underestimate the effect of it all sometimes - the trauma of everything and the side effects which can be long lasting.
Keep in touch ladies, I wish you both well XX