Have no idea where to start, I am 38 and this is a whirlwind and the last month has been horrendous with waiting for results. I am not one to suffer with anxiety but this has definitely taken its toll on me, I also suffer with extremely bad eczema so the stress is just making this ten times worse.
I went to the doctors at the end of November as I felt a hard area in my right breast, wasn’t overly concerned until the doctor referred me to breast clinic for a scan. That’s when the anxiety started. Two week’s after my doctors appointment I had an ultrasound and was told I needed a biopsy which they did straight away. I left with an appointment for the following week for my results. That week felt like a year. My heart was in my mouth and every time the door opened for them to call someone in my hands started to sweat. Me and my husband were put in a room, was told to put a gown on as the doctor will want to check the biopsy has healed ok. We sat and waited and again felt like forever then 3 of them walked in, a nurse, the doctor and his assistant - just knew it was bad news by how many of them there were.
I was told I had cancer in the upper quadrant on my right breast, it was 37mm, grade 2 and was ductal + DCIS. Unfortunately the results for ER/HER2 hadn’t come back so he went through an entire plan based on each scenario. The doctor was amazing and made me feel at ease with what he had put together. I had a biopsy under my arm which came back clear but he wanted it to be done again, as I mentioned I suffer with bad eczema and occasionally lymph nodes swell so I am just hoping this is because of this and comes back clear again - anybody else had to have a biopsy re taken?
I have my appointment on the 5th to find out the results of the receptors, I have called to see if they are back and have been told the ER is positive but still waiting on the HER2 to come back.
Waiting is just horrible, the thought of the unknown is making me feel like every little ache and pain is the cancer spreading, I have had the worst tension headache whilst waiting, just has really knocked the smoke out of me.
I have two kids ages 10 + 16 and they don’t know yet, my daughter has her GCSE’s next year and just feel such a bad person upsetting her.
A lot of my friends have friends my daughters age so feel like I cannot talk to them as I just cannot risk her finding out until we know the full picture. Brain is just going crazy at the minute.
Routine first mammogram Recall. I thought they might not have got clear pics after googling recall Doctor doin ultra sound just say. Ya something there and nearly sure it’s suspicious 2 biopsy’s on the spot. I got zero warning. The dreaded week of waiting for results Dec 15 th. Doc just say ya. Breast cancer. Surgery Dec 19 th All so fast and shocking Ruined my x mas Now results and treatment plan Jan 5 th Happy new year to me All I know is it was a dot less than 1 mm nothing visible seen in mymp nodes but one never knows I can’t think about anything else from wake up to sleep 24/7 … anyone like me ?
I am the same constantly on my mind, making me feel like I am loosing the plot as cannot think of anything else, even started to having panic attacks like head feels so tight and face and arms weak. If I take my mind of it that all goes, anxiety is so bad!!
Hello @rsth25 it’s nice to meet you. So glad you found the forum but I’m so sorry you have to be here
Anxiety is the worst and I really feel for you. It’s a complete shock to the system isnt it! But well done for getting it checked! I know you wont feel this now but it’s such a huge positive. You found something that could have otherwise really harmed you had you left it. You’ve done such a brave thing and you will be in safe hands now. They will be finding out all the information about your type of cancer so they can fix you up.
If you read through this forum you’ll hear it repeated that this stage you are at now is the worst. The waiting is awful. Every test you have you’ll wait 3 weeks and throughout you’ll be screaming for someone to just fix me now!!! Unfortunately its a waiting game and it’s a complete rollercoaster. But please dont let it panic you too much. Don’t write yourself off yet. They wouldnt leave you waiting if they thought they needed to act instantly.
I am 39 and I have 2 daughters aged 13 and 15 (next week. Eeek) What absolute crap timing for our children and I feel the same guilt but honestly the alternative doesnt bare thinking about. You’ve set the best example, you found it and you are getting it fixed. Focus on the positives of that when you can
I had a lympnode biopsy because 1 was showing swollen but the results came back negative. The advice from my MRI scan was to double check this again via ultrasound and so far it looks ok. I wont know for a week or 2 for more results to come back.
What can you do now? Breath, you will be ok. Let the doctors and nurses do their job and you do yours. You can help the process by being as fit and healthy as possible both pysically and mentally. Research the best cancer diet and how to keep your body as calm as possible. And keep coming here with your questions. You have a whole world of support and info at your fingers. Don’t google haha.
Thank you so much for your reply, I really wish I had some of your positivity. Every time I look at my kids I just cannot imagine them not to have me around. As I mentioned I have never never suffered with anxiety before, I never had so many aches and pains and headaches before the diagnosis so I know I have to keep positive and know this is just anxiety. Hoping for the results to be HER2 negative on he 5th and clear nodes. I have my MRI in the morning but they don’t think I will get my results for that until later in the week as the doctor wont have time to look at them before I arrive. Just find myself on this horrible rollercoaster that I cannot get off. Life was so good and happy before this now I feel everything has been taken away from me like I have done something wrong in life.
Bless you. It’s completely rotten I wish I could give you a big hug and have a big cry with you. Everything you feel is completely normal. Before I had breast cancer I was about to start therapy for health anxiety that Ive been battling for years. What I couldnt cope with was the thought of not catching something early and dying and leaving my girls without me. Who would ever love them as much as me? It’s absolutely heart breaking.
Those thoughts still wander around my head sometimes but after a couple of months on this rollercoaster I promise things get a little more manageable.
I decided to take myself for a big walk on one of my days off from work, this meant driving down the same road I used to do the school run on and in the morning with all the kids and parents around. 6-7 years walking up and down that road with my babies in their pram, then scooters, then skipping and running. By the time I got to the car park I was absolute mess.
But since getting a few more details about my cancer, going back and forth and getting a rough plan I can drive down that road with a smile on my face. You’ll find your rhythm
Sorry to hear of your diagnosis. I think this might have been made much harder by the fact that you don’t really seem to have the full picture yet. Once you have all the info and a plan in place, hopefully this might help things settle a little.
I was diagnosed as stage 1, grade 3, triple negative at the end of November and I had intense anxiety when I first found out also. I felt like I was vibrating on the inside, no sleep, couldn’t eat etc. I just allowed this to be and didn’t fight it - it’s a completely normal reaction - and it subsided within a few days or so. I then just naturally started to resume living my life alongside having to deal with cancer. Time is precious and this won’t be a quick fix so I control the things I can, let go of what I can’t, feel and express my feelings when I want to and enjoy the spaces in between appointments.
Oh yeah and I don’t Google anymore. It’s well worn advice, but there are very good reasons why people will tell you not to Google!
All the best to you, you will absolutely be able to do this x
