I had a left mast in June 2012 5mths after my husband was diagnosed with terminal cancer. As you can imagine a horrific time for us both. I lost him Dec 2012. So as I finished my treatment I had no loving husband to comfort me and share my fears, I was on my own and still am. Initially it was said I had grade2 invasive ducal carcinoma, but final biopsy showed tumour to be grade 3. I had chemo and 5yrs on Anastrozole,  are there any other ladies on this drug as I feel I’m only one in world on it. Sept 2017 my 5yrs was up and joy I would be taken off the dreaded drugs, but after talking to my consultant he suggested that because my oestrogen level was very high it would be beneficial to stay on the drug for another 5yrs. I was gutted, mortified,  words can’t describe how felt. I have stayed on it but terrified what happens after this period ends. Since this time my anxiety is terrible I’ve had numerous panic  attacks, on anti depressants and beta blockers. This is my first time on the forum, the fist time since May 2012 I have got all my hospital letters out and read them. I’m so frightened thinking what if it comes back. I know I have not faced up to what I have done and buried my head in the sand, but I suppose coping with bereavement at same time hasn’t helped matters. I have some fabulous girl friends but I need to talk to ladies who have gone through breast Cancer. At times I think I’m going mad thinking every little ache and pain is something nasty. I really need some support ?



Hello and welcome to the forum where I know you will get loads of help and support from the wonderful ladies on here who know exactly what you are going through, and there are ladies on here who have experienced the same loss as you whilst recieving treatment for bc and being on the same drug as you.


It is difficult to come to terms with what we have been through and the effect of the treatment that we have gone through…  I am not on the same drug as you as I am on tamoxifen due to having osteoporosis in the spine, I thought I was going to be on it for 5 years, however when I met with my oncologist in April he confirmed that I would be on it for 10 years.  I look on it as it keeping me hopefully safe from a recurrence.


Oh my dear we all know that feeling of thinking that every ache and pain means it has come back and the anxiety monster takes over our rational mind in that it is not that.


I wonder have you had counselling to help with both your bereavement and your diagnosis, if you have not then it might be something to consider as it is a safe comfortable place where you can talk about all your fears without the worry of upsetting your family and friends.


I know that this is perhaps not what you want to hear but I want to congratulate you on being 6 years post diagnosis which in itself is wonderful, I am currently 2 years so got a bit to go yet.


Sending you hugs xxx