I was diagnosed with breast cancer last week, not sure what type of cancer but I do know I have two lumps and cancer is different in each lump (trust me to be difficult!) Have felt very alone (even though it’s been a little over a week) until I came across this site and realised there are so many women going through the same as me. It’s reassuring to read so many positive comments as well as blooming awful that this disease has to affect so many of us.
I have three children, the youngest is 13 months. I’m anxious about the chemo and if I’m going to be able to cope. I couldn’t stand being pregnant so how on earth can I cope with chemo???!!!
I’m going to the Maidstone Hospital Breast Clinic which I think is highly regarded in this sector.
I am sorry to hear of your recent diagnosis but I am sure you will receive lots of helpful advice and support from our users. Below is a link to a Breast Cancer Care publication Resources Pack which can be ordered on line, it is filled with information to help you better understand your diagnosis, test results and the various treatments available. breastcancercare.org.uk//content.php?page_id=7514
You are also welcome to contact our freephone confidential helpline on 0808 800 6000, the helpline team can offer you further support and a ‘listening ear’ which may help you during this difficult time. The helpline is open Monday to Friday 9am-5pm and Saturday 9am-2pm. I do hope you find this information useful.
I’m sure you’ll get more posts soon from people who have experience of chemo. I was lucky and just had the mastectomy as it was caught really early. However, I must admit that I really worried until I got the definite results and, like you, I worried about whether I could cope with chemo if it became necessary. However, reading the posts here and talking to people I knew who’d been through it really helped. It’s hard, everyone admits that, but the word I heard so often was doable. Your children will no doubt keep you on your toes but you’ll cope and we’ll all be behind you. Just accept all the help offered and stay positive.
I’m sorry that you have joined the club. You will cope and chemo is doable. I am sure that your children will be an excellent distraction to enable you to think about things other than BC. Please post your questions as you will find others in the same boat as you. I am thinking of you.
Below is an extract from an email I received from an acquaintance in Belgium just after I was diagnosed. It made sense:
“I have been seriously ill before and therefore I know the feeling: the carpet has been thrown away under your feet. Messages of the increasing power of medicine have no meaning. In the darker moments, spiders walk around, please switch the light on. A salami is eaten slice per slice and therefore we will not yet consider/solve the problems of tomorrow. Let’s tackle those of today. Speak out and not cover, neither the problem nor your (mixed) feelings.”
Welcome to this club. One we really did not choose to join.
This site is absolutley fab and everyone has been very welcoming, encouraging,helpful, supportive - just brillant really.
I was diagnosed end of July and have two young children. To be honest they are what makes me keep going.
Please ask any questions - do you have a treatment plan?
I’m so sorry you’ve had to join our elusive little club, but ‘welcome’ to this most awesome site. I was diagnosed in March, age 34, and this site has been invaluable to me ever since! I knew v.little about bc and its treatments before I was diagnosed and it has been a v.steep learning curve for me and those closest to me.
I live in Shropshire now but I was born and bred in Kent and know Maidstone hosp v.well and I know there are a lot of site users who are being treated there. I’m sure you’ll be well looked after.
I had a right mastectomy and total axillary clearance a week after diagnosis. I started chemo in May and am due to finish next month. Its has not been easy but it is VERY doable. Believe me, if I can do it then anyone can!! Next for me is rads, Tamoxifen and a years worth of Herceptin. They’re throwing everything at this little bu**er and I’m not complaining!!
I wish you well as you start this journey. We all know how awful the first couple of weeks are. There’s so much to get your head round and it all seems so surreal, like a really really bad dream. Then there’s telling people, thats not easy. Once you know whats what and you start treatment I do think things start to look up, at least they did for me.
Take care and you know where we are if you need us,
Thanks for your speedy replies, it really does help to know you are there for support and to share thoughts, feelings and experiences.
As for my treatment plan, I am waiting to discuss and agree with my consultant but he has outlined the treatment as chemo/radiology/surgery (I have suggested a double mastectomy as I want to minimise the risk of this disease coming back)/herceptin. Does this sound normal? I have an enlarged lymph node under my arm (no cancerous cells detected with fine needle aspiration - however is still suspicious). Bone scan clear and no indication of other secondary infection.
I hope your treatment has been successful (is that the correct term?) so far. I have to apologise as I am still very naive with my knowledge of this disease, but am learning as each day passes.
i have just been to see the oncologist today and am er+and pr+ and also her2+ i dont know if thats a good sign or not being positive for all 3, got to have 4 months of chemo with herceptin half way through followed by3 weeks of radiotherapy and tamoxifen. i am gutted at having to loose my hair but plan to get a human hair wig to appear as normal as possible. it al seems a bit sureal at the moment as i feel ok apart from a liitle sore from surgery. dr says prognosis is excellent so im trying to keep positive but it all seems really scary
Hi sarah,
you may wish to ask the chemo nurse who should take you around the Oncology Suite if your particular chemo is suitable to have the cold cap. I had 6 x FEC chemo, and used it. It does prolong the treatment time - a half hour before the infusion starts, during the one and a half hour it takes to do the infusion, and an hour afterwards. The nurses would snuggle me up in a duvet and bring me hots drinks whenever I wanted them - that’s when I was not fast asleep!. Make sure you take the anti-nausea meds, even if you feel you don’t need them - it is too late once you start feeling sick.
I was given a voucher worth up to £125 on the NHS, and had to go to a designated hairdresser/wig salon in Plymouth, where I was seen in a private room. The stylist found me a lovely style and we chose a colour similar to my own - darkish blonde. It took 10 days to arrive, they called me back, and then the stylist cut it to suit my face. Luckily, I didn’t lose my hair, but it did go very thin on top and I could see my scalp, although friends and relatives never remarked on it - very tactful I thought.
Sorry you had to find us on here. It is an awful feeling being dx, and told you have to have chemo. But I promise you, chemo is not as bad as we all fear and is doable. Rather be doing something else though. The first time is terrifying, as it is the unknown, but basically sat in an armchair, feet reclined, needle went in and then that was it. Sat and had a cuppa with my hubby and a sandwich will antisickness drug put in, then had chemo and that was really it. I have not had any side effects apart from hair loss, but if you do suffer sickness tell your bc nurse, onc or chemo nurse and they will change antisickness tablets.
I was dx with bc on 16 July and told on 26 July had already spread to my liver. I am 39 with a 10 month old little boy and a 3 year old girl, and to be honest, they keep me going. I don’t have time to sit and dwell on things, as my 10 month old shows no mercy and has me up and down like a yo-yo as is into everything. I have my down days and some days am knackered, but that is down to the children as well as chemo I think. It is an emotional rollercoaster. I was actually born in Maidstone General Hospital, a long time ago I know and lived in Larkfield til I was about 5 I think.
Anyway, any questions you have fire away. You will get heaps of support on here. It is lonely somedays when friends and family really don’t know how you are feeling, although they try. But on here, we always help and there is always someone around to make you laugh.
Take care and let us know how you get on.
Love
Dawn
xx
thanks lizzie, i feel really weepy today as its just starting to sink in re treatment, its my hubbys birthday today so got to buck my ideas up so i havent got lovely red puffy eyes when we go out tonight - might be tempted to have a couple of glasses of vino
I am also under Maidstone hospital, I cannot recommend the consultants enough. I had my mastectomy at the begiining of the month and am starting my chemo next week.
The oncologists are also great, today I saw the wig lady and we get a precription for a wig and we have to pay £57.
On Monday I went on a “looking good feel great” afternoon (at the hospital) and came away with a large make up bag full of goodies and we had a laugh as well.
There are also a couple of breast nurses and they are just a phone call away to talk to you or your family
Hope this helps
This site is also a god send as you don’t always want to talk to people and at times I find just typing is easier.
just a quickie about ‘real hair’ wigs. I started chemo in May and went to ‘Trendco’ in B’ham to get my wig. I was adamant that I wanted a human hair wig as I thought an acrylic one would look too ‘wiggy’. The woman who looked after me, and has been in the wig business forever, strongly advised me against this. I was well pleased actually as they were a lot more expensive than fibre ones.
Anyway, the reason she advised me against was that they take an awful lot of looking after. This is fine if you have alopecia but if you are suffering with the horrid side effects that chemo can bring the last thing you wanna be doing is messing about trying to style your wig. She said that although it is human hair, they are treated so much with chemicals that by the time you come to wear them they do not behave like normal hair. It can take a lot of time to style and straighten them, and can be very hard to do.
Obviously its entirely up to you but I honestly would think twice before you shell out for an expensive ‘real hair’ wig. I have nearly finished chemo now and am really grateful that I didn’t get one. When I was at my worst I really don’t think I could’ve been bothered to wash and dry my wig before I went out. My wig is acrylic and you really wouldn’t notice at all, it really looks like the real deal. People have actually commented on how nice my hair is! I do wear a hair band with it too though.
This is just friendly advice, please don’t think I’m having a rant or anything,
Thanks for your comments. Going to see a new consultant tomorrow so should get closer to arranging a treatment plan. Have swopped consultants as I wanted to see one closer to home - had been travelling an hour or so to the hospital for the tests and consultations.
I know I’m probably looking too far ahead (typically girlie and trying to be organised!!) but has anyone tried the cold cap and what did you think of it? Just wondering whether to get my wig sorted out sooner rather than later! Wasn’t going to bother and just wear bandannas but may make me feel better with some hair on my head!!
Anyway… - I found the courage to read thru my hospital notes (couldn’t bring myself to before now for fear of more bad news) and have one cancerous lump with the other lump suspicious. So hopefully just dealing with one type of cancer.
Thanks Kelly for the info re human hair wig,I must admit I didnt realise that they could be high maintenance. This forum is excellent for getting advice and answers to questions isnt it?
no worries at all, I just didn’t want you to think I was being bossy or anything! I just know how much I wanted one 'til I realised what hard work it would be,
Hi Andrea
Your treatment plan will depend on the path results to a large degree, as well as your age, whether there is metastysis, whether you are HER2 positive, etc. One of the chemo cocktails, known by the acronym CMF, has less side effects than others. Treatment lasted longer than the heavier drugs (6 months, 2 weeks on, 3 weeks off), but the equivalent amount of chemo drugs to the heavier ones. While my hair thinned somewhat, I did not lose it & hadn’t realised this, so went & bought an expensive real hair wig for nothing. Tried it a few times, but found it very hot, which did not help my hot flushes! Chemo is preceded by an anti-nausea drip & I was also given anti nausea tablets to take home. Don’t wait for nausea to hit you, just take the tabs! Also, if you find that you still get nausea, tell your onc, because it is possible to change the drugs for something that works better for you. Chemo was followed by lucky inclusion in cliinical trial, so had Herceptin for 2 years more or less for free.
There will be sad & bad days, but they always pass & one is just so grateful for feeling better that the bad days are quickly forgotten.
Have faith & go well.