anxious while waiting

hi there everyone, had lump in breast removed and lymph nodes last monday 10th march, but unfortunetly when i went for results they need to remove all of the left breast. i am feeling very low and anxouis at times. I seem to have a lot of fear over the anaesthetic, and just the feelings when you come around. they have said they will give me a pre med this time. I have so much support from family friends and church members but nothing seems to ease the fear. i whish i could be stronger maybe my strength will return before the 31st march when i have to return. thanks for listening god bless you all

Hi, and welcome to the forums. I’m sorry to learn of your fears and anxiety at this time, which I am sure other forum members will tell you is only natural. If you feel you wish to speak to someone in confidence then please do phone the BCC helpline where you can discuss your concerns with the staff here who are all either breast care nurses or people who have personal experience of breast care issues. The lines are open Monday to Friday 9am - 5pm and Saturdays 9am - 2pm, the number to call is 0808 800 6000.

Hope this helps. Kind regards,
Jo, Facilitator

HI, I can sympathise. I too had a phobia about the anaesthetic, in fact I told them at the hospital that I was more frightened of this than the surgery. It did not help that this was Christmas Eve and if anything went wrong, my children would have terrible associations with what is supposed to be a magical time of year. I had an irrational fear of not waking up which I can only put down to the sense of being completely out of control when under. They asked me if there was anyone in my family who had died under anaesthetic and as there is no family history I would be fine. Which I was. Hope that helps a bit.
Gill

thanks for all your comments, i am just taking one day at a time, and trying to accept my fears. its silly really as i was not to bad when i came around last time. i have moments when i think about things a lot, but am trying to enjoy each day the best i can. thoughts of having one booby keep coming into my head, how will my husband react etc. frustration because they didnt do a mascetomy at once, ignore my winging i,will hopefully be as positive as the rest of you soon. good night god bless, it helps to know your there

Hi
Really understand what you are going through.
I had a lump removed at the end of November but when I got the results a week later was told that I needed a mastectomy (also my left breast) Totally devastated. Was offered an operation two days later but just couldn’t get my head round that so into hospital on Dec 14th for a mastectomy and removal of sample of lymph nodes.
More results in Jan, all clear but due to only 1mm between the tumor margin and the chest wall I was offered 3 weeks of radio therapy then tamoxifen. Its now 14 weeks since the op and its back to work on Tuesday - I teach part time in a nursery class in Hackney
The last few months have been an interesting but at times a very difficult journey. Tremendous support from family and friends and a brilliant church praying for me. I think probably the biggest battle was with some of the thoughts that went thro my mind not always very positive or beneficial. I wondered how my husband would react, would he still find me attractive etc. I looked at myself and thought what a freak! and so I could continue.
I learnt to replace ‘silly’ thought with sensible ones. I am sure my husband would prefer a wife with one breast than a dead one with two - a bit dramatic perhaps but true and my scar - I now think is wonderful and I am really quite proud of it.
It takes time. I think there is a saying that - ‘You can’t stop the birds flying over your head but you can stop them making a nest in your hair’ and so its the same with so many of the thoughts and fears associated with what we go through. They are perfectly natural, some worth working thro and others worth dumping as soon as possible.
All the best for 31st March, let us know how you get on.
Loads of love. Magsi

Hi

I am undergoing a mastectomy because of recurrence on Wednesday and I know exactly how you are feeling. I keep having awful dreams. I am not worried about the anaesthetic as I am a pro at it but worried about my husbands reaction, I weigh 14 stone, have short hair (sill growing back from chemo last year), have psoriasis all over me and now will have one boob. How can anyone fancy me. He is lovely and keeps saying he has had my boob for 10 years so thats long enough. I am 33 years old and keep reminding myself that this must be how everyone feels. I am really ratty at the moment and hope I will feel better when I know what is happening after the mastectomy.

Hugs to everyone expecially those going through the same as me next week. Better go, getting all my washing done as my brilliant mother-in-law is going to do my ironing for me.

Mandy

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Hi Mandy

I have just had a mastectomy of the right breast four days ago, after having lump and lymph glands removed last May.

I really understand where you are coming from - I found the idea of looking at myself with just one breast unthinkable. However, as soon as I came round from the op, I just felt a great sense of relief that it was all over.

When I looked at myself in the mirror for the first time, it was not nearly as bad as I feared. I still look and feel like ‘me’ - just that I have one boob. My hubby is fine about it - says one breast is enough for him, and after all the breast that has gone had got cancer in it, so good riddance.

Hope this helps. it is tough, but I found that my fear about the op was much worse than the actuality.

HI Flyright

Thanks for your comments, I appreciate it. Sounds exactly like le. Have you had a recurrence? Are you going to have chemo again?

I hate not knowing. I only got re-diagnosed on Monday last week so all happened again really quickly, seen Oncologist, Surgeon and had two scans in a matter of 3 days. Keep worrying about whether anyone will notice false boob and will have to change my wardrobe as tend to have my cleavage out, not by choice though it seems to flop out when I bend over!!! (The new warrobe sounds good though I suppose)

Mandyxx

Hi Mandy

Just wanted to say pls don’t worry…yeah easy for me to say…thats what people told me when I went in for mastectomy
( by choice) on 1st Feb this year and here I am near on 8 weeks down the line looking ok.

I didn’t feel sad or scared when I looked at what was once a nice 38C all I felt was relief…relief that the cancer had gone. I didn’t bother with anything of course up until about 2 weeks ago when I go my false boob which my 17mth and 6yr old find great fun to poke at. I was worried what my hubby would feel when he looked at me but he says I can live without a boob but I can’t live without you.

It REALLY did not hurt ( I had axillary clearance at same time which casued more discomfort than mastectomy)…well not for me. I took great care of it when I came home, did all my exercises and rested
( pretty hard with a toddler). Now I have a neat scar which I dab Bio-oil on every night. I know its not summer so who knows how I will feel when I want to wear lower neck tops but people do don’t they.

Good luck sweetie, all will be fine I promise just take the pain killers and rest and eat well to keep healing easy.!!
xxxx

Get button up PJ’s and dont forget your own pillow for hospital…get a good nights sleep.!!