Hi All
Think I am too old to jump on board here as well - I am 41 - but can associate with a lot of what is being said - so, I hope that you dont mind too much.
I was dx at age of 34 - had lumpectomy, cmf, rads and 5 years of Tamoxifen.
Got married 2 years ago to my ToyBoy of 28 as then.
Got pregnant, had baby boy on 21 aug this year and told that I had bone mets on 23 aug this year (rib and hip/pelvis).
It has certainly been an emotional rollercoaster ride. I too am normally ‘quite chirpy’ but have my low and negative days too.
I am embarrassed to admit that I didnt register in my head about secondaries - I just thought that if it came back, it would be another lump that they could cut away and I could have the chemo etc again.
I have horrible thoughts about not being alive to see my baby’s 1st Christmas or birthday, or 1st day at school.
I have horrible thoughts about my husband being a widower at the grand old age of 30!!! And now, with a baby in tow.
I have horrible thoughts about my husband not being able to afford to stay in our house - my life insurance expired just after original dx 7 years ago, and it was one of those things that you keep saying you will do and keep putting off. So, the only thing that keeps me going there is through my pension, ‘death in service’ gives a good payout - but then, I’ve got to keep working full-time which means less time with my little one. Dilemmas hey?
I feel quite bitter that I am no jet-setter - I dont have many demands on life - People keep telling us to get away from it all. It is so unfair, all I really want is to enjoy a normal family life with my new family. My problem is, I cant guarantee how long for.
I think it would certainly help to be able to have private chats within this site - I’ve just set up a new discussion on secondaries - my questions are silly really but I just need to see if someone out there is feeling the same.
The chat on a Tuesday night is valuable. It is not as busy as I thought it would be, but that can be quite good cos you get to chat rather than wait your turn and but in when appropriate iykwim.
Have got my 2nd dose of Zoledronic Acid/Zometa tomorrow and hopefully my ovaries have stopped working, so may have a prescription for Arimidex too!!
There are a lot of good people on this site - real morale boosters!!! Thank you
Take care
Anne xx