Well it has been 9 days since my mastectomy, and although still a few tears at the actual loss! l feel as though l have come to terms with it, (early days, l know) like everyone, our main concern is to get through this horrible breast cancer.
Soooooooo, am l being a bit too optimistic with the loss, or will it come and get me later?
Being older 63, l suppose l feel it isn’t such a problem, I am almost sure l would feel different if l were younger, yes there is always reconstruction
So those ladies that have had a mx, do you find it a struggle, or have you come to terms with the loss of your breast.
And mostly, have you any good tips with living breast free.
Sandra
I had mx over 2 yrs ago after chemo and can honestly say it’s never bothered me, no tears or anything - ok I feel a bit lopsided but do have a prosthesis that I never think about. My scar is sooo neat and tidy and always admired by doctors/nurses/physios etc - apparently my surgeon was renowned for his skills so I was very lucky.
I didn’t have a recon and wasn’t offered one but wouldn’t have had it anyway. You’re entitled to have pockets put in 3 bras and one bikini/swimming costume per year free of charge too so I make the most of that facility. I was offered a stick-on prosthesis but have very sensitive skin so stuck with a ‘normal’ one. No-one would know. I don’t have any tips really but would say I always have to try clothes on to get the right fit - even from the same brand. Some of that is due to the fact that the drugs have made me go from a size 8-10 to a 14 !!!
I would even look at the possibilty of having the other breast removed too if that came up as an option.
Liz
Hi Liz
Thank you, l never knew about the pockets in the bra’s, is it done through the NHS, My bcn haven’t mentioned it!
Sandra x
Hi,
Yes, it is through NHS - I sort of found out by accident. Certainly your bcn should point you in the right direction so it’s worth a call. Here we get sent to the orthotics dept. If you want any more than the allowance, it’s £12 a go or you could sew your own in if you’re handy like that and can make a template off one that’s been done.
Think it’s like a lot of things - the facility is available but not necessarily actively promoted and unless someone else tells you, it goes unused. You may get more info when you get your proper prosthesis (assume that’s what you’ll be doing) instead of a softie. It was about 6 weeks after rads for me to allow the skin to settle properly.
Liz
Hi Sandra,
I’m 40 and I had mx in Feb so 3 months living lopsided now!
As soon as I was diagnosed I just wanted my breast removing, to get rid of the cancer.
I didn’t want to have to think about reconstruction at first (and was advised against it as I was due to have rads - which I now don’t have to have as they got clear margins after the mx).
So, three months in I’m now starting to think about having reconstruction as some point in the far distant future. Just every so often I feel that it would be easier, to not have to lug a falsie about all the time. But then I think about it again and wonder if I really do want to go through another op (I already have to have full node clearance when I’ve finished chemo in August).
So, I’m still in two minds about it all really.
As for living breast free, I’ve got used to my flat side, but sometimes wish both breasts had been removed so I wasn’t so wonky, then it would be easier to go without the falsie some days and just slip a vest top on rather than having to balance myself up!
I’m still early days along the BC journey so hopefully I’ll eventually come to a decision when I’m good and ready, no point rushing these things is there?
Leah
xx
Hi
I had both removed & tend to live almost breast free with very minimal falsies just because breast free for me is very flat and I get too conscious of my tummy which isn’t as flat as it should be! But it is great at night when I don’t bother with anything - I can be more comfortable in any position than I used to be with my natural 42Es. The only difficulty I’m experiencing is wearing lower necklines & then find myself bending over & potentially exposing a peculiar sight (!) e.g. like today when I was scooping things up out of the bottom of the supermarket trolley. I felt very upbeat & confident about it all pre & immediately post op (3 months ago). Occasionally now I feel real pangs of envy (& self pity) towards women with their breasts intact but that’s really because I’ve moved on from the drama of treatment to a more normal state of just getting on with life & work - and I have temporarily forgotten why I haven’t got breasts (I know that sounds wierd). You do feel differently about things when you are in active treatment & when you are back in the flow. But at the same time I do accept myself for who I am now - and am happy with my choices.
Good luck with the recovery Sandra - give yourself a good 6 weeks…
Cheers
Maggy
i had a left sided mx 6yrs ago,when i was 50,after my 1st mammogram showed a lump which i had never felt. i had to have a mx as a lumpectomy wasn’t an option,luckily i didn’t have to have chemo or rd,just tamoxifen for 5yrs. i had a brill bcn,and was able to come to terms pretty quick with being left with 1 breast.sometimes i feel lopsided and i don’t always fancy my bra with a prothesis especially in the house,but it can be funny if i answer the door and forget i haven’t got my bra on. you can get a prothesis every 2 yrs on the nhs and get a good fitting bra from a reputable outlet,last time i went to m/s and it was a bit of a disaster,the fitter had to get someone else to check me and then asked if i could not just wear an ordinary bra!! to be honest it’s all trial and error and go with what feels most comfortable.i’ve never fancied a reconstrution as i don’t want any further surgery. i hope this is of some help
Hi Sandra
I’m now 46 and had both breasts removed nearly a year ago. I’m not going to have a reconstruction.
I’ve been really surprised by how good the prostheses are. I’ve found them comfortable and natural looking. Okay so I can’t wear anything low cut but then I probably wouldn’t of anyway. I also brought my first swimwear recently plus some prostheses for swimming which are quite spongey and dry quickly (very cheap too).
All I think is that the cancer is cut away and I’m alive. I had a good cry before my operation but now I just want to get on with things. I can honestly say that it didn’t take me long to get used to seeing my scars etc and I’m lucky in that my husband has been great about it all too.
When you’re feeling up to it have a look at some of the great underwear and swimwear etc available from places like Nicola Jane and Amoena.
I do wear my prostheses every day even when I’m at home on my own. That way I feel better and more feminine.
Wishing you a good recovery
Elinda x
Hi Ladies,
Liz, I find it rather strange that no one has mentioned the free service of pockets in 3 bras a year.
Some of the bras are quite expensive and if you have had to stop work while having treatment, it is another expense that you can do without, so thank you for that xxx
Leah, Yes l know what your mean, do you want to have another op? NO! such a traumatic time.
With regards to being ‘wonky’ still got my softie, so l was hoping my new falsie would ‘sit’ nice! am l living in my own little world?
xxx
Maggy, Wow that must have been some change going from a 42E to flat!
Your low necklines made me laugh, now when l get dressed, instead of checking if l look ‘ok’ and the back of my skirt is not tucked into my knickers. I bend forward to see what can be seen! and l squat rather than bend when out shopping, which l suppose is good for you!
Mind you can’t really squat to get the shopping out of the trolley!!
This morning l had a letter inviting me to meet the oncologist, on the 1st June, so not too long, and hopefully not too long until treatment starts xxx
Robver, If you can get a prothesis every 2 years, l take it they do last that long? I have only purchased post op bras from M & S so far, and have been happy with them.
Can imagine answering the door to someone with no bra on! people already seem to look at my falsie before they look at me these days, or perhaps that is what ‘l’ think xxx
Elinda, Well no, like you l wouldn’t wear anything ‘low’ now, probably never did! memory has gone, along with the boob!
Yes, yes to hope the cancer is cut away, l had a lot of node involvement, so a ‘bit’ of a concern, roll on chemo!
I looked at the mx as soon as l woke, and when the dressing was removed, l had no problem looking, Lots of tears, but only natural (for me!) Lol, never cried so much since dx, but l am sure l am not the only one!
Must be dreadful if you have a partnen/husband that couldn’t cope with the mx, bad enough us having to cope with it, without parner/husband problems!! Yes like you my husband has been great.
I have seen the Nicola jane and Amoena, the only thing is the sizing, you know, you can buy a dress size 10 in one shope and a 12 in another, are they good sizes? even when l buy a bra from marks l have to try in on, different styles and sizes!
I will also wear mine everyday, l also like to feel feminine, but that is just me, and l know there are a lot of ladies that are more than happy being ‘flat’ Whatever we want to do, and is good for us!
Thank you, once again the Ladies of the forum have been there to help
Sandra xxx
Hi Everyone,
I think it can be said that I have some exprience going breast-less. Had left mx in 2003 and as I have posted elsewhere, was fine for 7 years. However now we have our own section I shall repeat myself !!
I was never a boob person and always felt mine were too big, although some people thought I was very lucky. I was very comfortable with my silicone false one in a pocketed bra. I slept lopsided, but I have always got up and dressed, whatever I am doing, (even before bc) so I always had my bra and my boob on. Although camping has been a bit complicated !! When I needed to get up in the night, I would put a big jacket on and made a bee line for the toilets and a beeline back. I had a sponge boob in my pocked swim suit and never had any problems. Not even got a funny story to tell.
Since I had my 2nd mx, apart from the post-op discomfort, I feel even better. Now I can be a smaller size. I have thought about going boob-less, but I feel undressed without my bra and falsies, so I haven’t done it yet.
I have never realy seriously considered a recontruction for many reasons. I don’t fancy anything that was not me, inside me (silicone etc) and don’t fancy any more ops and I dont realy trust surgeons. It would never feel the same, and why bother ? I aslo wonder how they can realy check things after. If I get anothr lump at least I will feel it…
As for the practical side, the silicone ones usualy last for a few years. Just wash them with soap and water and they are dry straight away. The sponge ones dry with the swim suit.
So long live the breast-less and the lopsided ladies. Be proud
Hugs to all
Maria
Sandra
I do find that bra sizes vary quite a bit. I tend to get mine from Nicola Jane or Contura Belle (they’re best seller that comes in white or black with dark pink is very comfortable and I’ve now got 4 of them!). Nicola Jane offers a free, no questions return service - you just stick the label on the bag and return it. I haven’t had to return anything to Contura Belle but hopefully that would be the same.
With swimwear, if you’re a bit taller like me (5ft 8) then I’ve needed the longer length swimming costume from Nicola Jane.
take care
Elinda x
Hi everyone
It is nice to have a forum for us flat or lopsided ladies.
I chose to have a left mx in July 09 due to the size of the lump which was grade 3 with no node involvement. Full clearances meant I did not have to have radiation and I opted not to have chemo due to the small % of benefit. I was offered recon at the time, but chose not to as I never like taking medicines - tough luck now, as I am on arimidex for 5 yrs! lol. The thought of more surgery was not appealing and I had to get better quickly as my husband and I were celebrating our 30th with a big holiday 6 weeks later that had been planned for nearly a year- I was tired but I did enjoy it.
I can honestly say the scar has never bothered me and hubby is brilliant. I did catch sight of myself in the bathroom mirror a couple of months down the line when I wasn’t expecting to and did feel a bit of shock, but apart from that it has been fine.
I wear my falsie all the time at work and have tried some lighter ones but found it rose up to where mine were when I was in my late teens, so have reverted to the heavier NHS one which more closely matches my own. I never wear a bra at home as they aggravate my under arm - a relic from the node sampling possibly, as a result my right one is rapidly approaching my navel!!
In the winter I never bothered when out to wear my falsie due to having loads of clothes on, but have to admit that I feel a little self aware now the time is coming round to less clothes. I am pretty sure that most of it is in my own head as I don’t think I look at other womens breast when I am walking around, so why should they look at me, strange I do not feel so bothered about men - not sure why that is - any thoughts anyone?
Fabforty - I can agree with your thoughts on having both removed, it seems like it would be easier ( tried to think of a different word but cannot find it - free-er springs to mind but cannot spell it), but like you I am not keen on another op - plus hubby is against the idea.
I am due for my annual check up in July so await the 1st mammogram with some trepidation.
One thing that does amaze me is the difference in the treatment and information that occurs in different parts of the country. It is one NHS so all should be treated the same, I was seen within 2 weeks of going to my GP and 4 weeks later I had my op. Yet I read of some women who are waiting months for their op which does not seem right.
Sorry it is so long
Love to all and good luck Sandra as you start on the next stage x
Posted on behalf of shazzey
Kind regards
Lucy
i wear my bra with my new prosthesis and i sweat badly im soaked after a hour of wearing then … i lost both …any one got ideas to relieve this problem thank you im on tamoxifen as wel
Hi Shazzey
When you say you wear a bra-do you have pocketed ones- I find it slighty more comfy if I wear that kind in cotton.(Asdo do a lovely cotton 1 for £6) If I just pop in ordinary bra, the prosthesis slides everywhere in this heat!! Not a good look having it pop out over a top!!
And Im a tamox girl too 
Cathie
Hi Shazzey,
I agree with Cathie - my comfiest bras are cotton pocketed ones. I also prefer wearing a Silima ultra light prosthesis, as it has a hollowed out back so it doesn’t get so hot and sweaty.
Thanks for this thread you are answering loads of questions for me.
xxx
Yes l agree, this thread is answering lots of questions. Thank you for all your advice.
I also find the bra’s with a pocket in the best, at the moment l still have my comfie, but due for a fitting of the prosthesis in July.
Piglet, you mention Silima ultra light, was this through the NHS or private?
Also l have heard there are stick on ones! does anyone wear these, and if so are they comfortable? and secure!! not being in a pocket l think l would be worried it would pop out!
Sandra x
Hi Sandra,
I got my Silima ultra light from Eloise - I did get a light prosthesis through the NHS, but I still found it quite heavy, so I looked at various other ones to buy myself - my BCN said you can have one NHS prosthesis (or 2 presumably if you have a double mastectomy) every 2 years, so I may ask her what other ones she has if I see her again. I have not tried the stick on ones as my scar is not very flat so I am not sure it would stick very well - I think my surgeon needs sewing lessons! I don’t think I would feel very safe and secure unless the prosthesis was in a pocket - I am not a very elegant person and it is at this time when I wish I had a smaller boob!
thank you xxxxxxxxxxx :O)
This is a great thread. I’d never heard of the free 3 pockets either. Although my bras are good the pocket isn’t cotton so it does get rather warm.
Can anyone recommend a good cotton bra that is goes quite high up underarm - I have those bits at the end of my scar, can’t remember what they’re called - dog ears or something? I prefer to tuck them into the bra so they don’t rub. Sounds awful but they’re not that bad.
I opted to go for a double mx in part because I was so big breasted (38G) and was glad I did. That wasn’t the only reason though. The prostheses I was given on the NHS seem quite good. They are from the company Amoena and they have a special gel backing for coolness. To be honest they are more cool than my huge bust was.
take care all
Elinda x