Thank you tors - i just found it now.
will add my bit in soon - in work at the moment so i guess i should not be on here 
Hiya I am 30 so hope I can post here? Just found out yesterday that I have BC and I need a mastectomy in 2 weeks. I dont know what type of cancer yet but I am really scared about all this and really dont want a mx, doctor said he wont know what type of cancer till after the mx so I cant have reconstrution till after in case I need any further treatment. Why can’t he know now? Surely he should know what type or has he not told me yet? Found out yesterday( Monday) and have to go back and see him on Thursday. Could really do with some friends that are going through this right now XxxX
Hi Flutterby,
I was just under 30 when diagnosed in Dec 2009 and was told I needed a mastectomy on the ‘bad breast’ but opted to have both removed. They will probably tell you a little more when you go in, in terms of types of surgery and I would be suprised if theye didn’t discuss recon with you. I was going to go for the DIEP procedure (tummy one) but they knew I would probably need radiotherapy aswell as Chemo, so I could not have that one to start with.
They did the double mastectomy and put temporary expanding impants in and infact I still have them in now some 18 months later as waiting to have the recon done hopefully October.
Feel free to message me if you wanted to ask anything.
Paula xx
Hi flutterby
Firstly, welcome to the Forums, I’m sure you’ll find lots of support and information here.
We have lots of services and information which you might find helpful - here’s the link to the Younger Women’s section of the site:
breastcancercare.org.uk/about-us/our-services/support-for-younger-women/
If you feel it might help to talk to someone, our Helpline are great listeners and can direct you to other sources of help and support too. The number is 0808 800 6000, they’re open Weekdays 9-5 and Saturday 9-2.
Best wishes.
Louise
Facilitator
Hi I was 34 when dx (mind you that as 14 years ago) I had mx/imm recon then chemo refused RADS ( I was told it was belt and braces and so therefore I kept rads in reserve in case I ever needed it with alocal recurrence… which i havent yet) they didn’t know til after mx/reco what the full state of the cancer was??? it too was grade 3 and with a 7cm tumor, I would ask about imm recon if that is what you want… remember you do have rights!!!
I went on to marry and have 2 beautiful children despite it all and being told that I probably would not be able to have kids!!!
XX
I have now been dx with new primary , other side and am working my way through chemo I will have another mx/imm recon…because its what I want… at the end of sept beg of oct???
hope all goes well for you all
Jeanette xx
Hi
I was diagnosed when I was 25, I am now 41 and have been clear ever since, I had a routine mammogram last week and have been called back for an ultra sound…just hoping its only scar tissue that they are checking as this has happened 3 times before.
16 years free though is amazing…I hope I have another 16 years free and that you can take some positive feelings away knowing you can go on without it coming back.
xxx
Hi flutterby
How are you? How you getting on?
I joined this site last year when I was diagnosed in march age 26, I had lumpectomy, chemotherapy and radiotherapy, now on tamoxifen for 5 years. I had great support from this site, feel free up be in touch with me if I can be of any help. I no it probably doesn’t seem like it now but there is a light at the of the tunnel. Keep strong and stay positive, hope to hear from u soon x x
Hi Girls,
I am actually 30 but am told I look 22,so I’m joining in as an honorary 20 something (who is clearly in denial about being 30!!) I was diagnosed in May with 1 small grade 3 lump - said lump was banished under the surgeons knife and am now at the beginning of my ‘chemo party’ 1 x FEC down , 2 x FECs and 3 x T’s to go! Plus I believe I’ll have some radiation after that, just for sh*** and giggles, like.
I was completely shocked when I got my diagnosis. I didn’t think for a moment the news would be bad, on account of being so young - despite having a strong family history.I think I was actually in a great mood and in some weird delusion where didn’t really mind too much for at least a few days afterwards but obviously now I’m a patient; suffering side effects, dreading going bald, and worrying about my career / chemo balance, it feels pretty real.
Although I wouldn’t wish this on anyone it is much less isolating when one knows one is not alone.
Wishing everyone the breast! (sorry terrible joke) and hope to talk more with you all soon.
Bumping up for butterfly83
X
Hi ladies,I’ve only just come on to the forums and my heart goes out to you all. I’m 28 and was diagnosed with bc this summer. Although I’ve been trying to be as positive as poss I’m now really angry that cancer is forcing me to have to make decisions I never thought I would have to make. (Then feel guilty feeling angry when so many others are in a tougher position than me)
I’m getting married in April and we were planning to start a family straight away. I’ve been advised radiotherapy and tamoxifin. I’m finding it really difficult to make a decision. I’m so upset that if i go on the tamoxifen i’ll have to wait 5 years before trying. I would really appreciate hearing from others having to make these decisions xxx
Bumping up for penguin82
X
Hello Penguin82.
A horrible situation that i, and many others on thos forum, and many other girls i’ve met can empathise with. BUT all of our cancers are different, so while we can share stories I would discuss this in detail with your onc who should be able to give you percentage gains of different treatments.
I’m 33 and had my 2nd wedding anniversary on Monday - by which time we’d hoped to have been pregnant, but I was diagnosed in may. I had to have chemo which has a high chance of affecting my fertility (couldn’t harvest eggs due to strong er+ and big lump.). Next step is surgery and rads and tamoxifen. I will be weighing up the risks of me coming off tamoxifen early, but doubt I will as I want to give myself the best chance. There are so many ladies on this website who went on to have children and then develop secondaries(quote having opted out of specific treatments) and having lost my mum to breast cancer I know that I need to do all I can to give me the best chance of survival before I revisit the idea of children. I want them to throw everything art me. This won’t be until my late 30s now and it breaks my heart.
If 1982 is your birth date, then time is definitely on your side, and if you had a tiny lump with no lymph or vascular invasion, your onc may well think that coming off tamoxifen early could be an option for you, and a lower risk than
for some of us others. But I would talk this through with them and, personally, I’d also get a second opinion. You are very lucky not to need chemo - but tamoxifen could be ‘your drug’.
Wishing you the best of luck. It’s hard enough to deal with anyway and is really is horribly difficult when your exciting plans are thrown up in the air - especially when all of your friends are getting married and popping out babies left right and centre. But YOUR health is the most important thing to deal with right now.
Big hugs.
X
Thank you Sandytoes xxx
Hi everyone
I was 22 when I was first diagnosed (back in 2005) - I found a lump the size of a golf ball in my left breast while showering. Everyone said I shouldn’t worry - the docs had the lump removed in an outpatient surgery. And a week later the lab report came back that it was malignant and Grade 3! Was rushed into mx, chemo (6 cycles, every 3 weeks), then 25 days rad. It was receptor-negative though.
Just when I was about to hit my 5-year mark, I found another small, pea-sized lump in the remaining right breast. Docs wanted a lumpectomy, I asked to go directly for an mx. Turns out it was Stage 1, and I had 25 rad again, at the start of this year. Receptor-positive this time, and since January, I’m on tamoxifen (what a b*tch that is! Sorry *grin*). I’m 28 now, and flat as an ironing board where my chest is concerned!
I’m eager to find if other young women are on tamoxifen too… I have some questions I’d like to ask you.
XOXO
I am looking for some advice for my daughter. She had to have a double mastectomy when she was 26 years old is is still receiving reconstruction. She had luekaemia as a child and we were told the side effects of the total body radiation had caused pre cancerous cells and she needed the surgery asap. I have tried for years to get her to go for councilling but she refused but now she is thinking about it and I wondered if you could help. She wouldnt form relationships because she wanted to wait until her surgery was finished, but now its almost there and she has admitted to me she`s scared to because she doesnt know how to explain to a potential partner what she has gone through. Is there anyone that can give her the advice she is looking for. She is wasting her life sitting at home nearly every week and will only go out on occasion with female friends and now she has listened to me about councilling I am now needing help in advising her. Please can you advise us.
Hello pingu54
Welcome to the forums, this must be a very worrying time for you and your daughter.
Whilst waiting for replies from ther users maybe you or your daughter would like to talk things through with a member of our helpline staff who are there to offer emotional support as well as practical information.
The free phone number is 0808 800 600 and the lines are open Monday to Friday 9.00 to 5.00 and Saturday 9.00 to 2.00.
With best wishes
June, moderator
Pingu,
I’m 33 and having a bilateral mastectomy with delayed reconstruction, but am in a different position as I have a wonderful and supportive husband. However, I have met some young women who have gone on to have relationships after mastectomies (unfortunately they’re not on this forum though…). I even know one girl who’s 30 and hasn’t had reconstruction and has developed secondaries who has met a wonderful man and they are getting married. So pleased for her.
Whereabouts are you based? I can strongly reccommend one of the BCC Younger Women Forums where they cover topics from body image, relationships, fertility etc - and other topics that might not be quite so relevant now such as reconstruction. I certainly found it really useful to meet other similar aged girls in a similar situation. Before then I felt really isolated and as though my friends didn’t understand.
I am also having counselling - but probably found the forum more useful as I regularly meet up with some of the girls I met and I have found that that has been useful therapy in itself as we talk about everything - and can even laugh about some of it - and the seminars were excellent. It has given me much more confidence as I know I am not alone.
Unfortunately as much as you love and want (and know!!) what’s best for her - you wont be able to force her to go to counselling - but to offer to research it with her and take her along etc. Or ask her to at least try it out. She deserves some happiness after all she’s gone through and just a helping hand in teaching her how to be happy and more confident.
Maybe get your daughter to get in touch with some of us on the forum too as we all understand to some extent how she feels?
All the best.
x
Zee - I didn’t see your post before. I’m a few years older than you at 33, but starting Tamoxifen after my surgery next month…so can’t help with any questions yet - but may well be asking you some soon! However, bumping this up as there are other girls on here who are taking Tamoxifen.
x
Bump.
Hi pingu,
Being just 1 year older than your daughter and still single, I can relate to a lot of the feelings she had. So I guess you’ve come to the right place!
I didn’t have surgery, so don’t really worry about my body image or anything. But mine is terminal because it has spread, so I find it really hard to tell people initially (men and women) that my cancer is incurable. I had counselling, too. So here are a few thoughts:
What is she scared of? If it’s the surgery itself (I know I would be because I never had any sorts of surgery), then be here for her. If it’s the effect of surgery (i.e. body image, potential partner), then here are my counsellor’s advice: Be honest with him from the beginning. If he really loves you for who you are, not what you look like, then he will love you any way. But if he ditches you because of your image, then he’s not worth loving anyway. I always say that marrying no one is better than marrying the wrong man.
Why is she sitting at home nearly every week? I did that when I was first diagnosed. Now, I came out of my little world and found lots of support. Is she avoiding male friends? I found that starting off with male friends of a different age group a lot easier. Some one who can be a father figure, or a young boy, by building up the confidence and feeling comfortable talking to men about female illness help a lot!!
It also took me a while to go for counselling because I do NOT want others to think “I’m weak”, but it benefited me greatly and I learnt that asking for help is NOT a sign of weakness.
Sorry for long post, but I hope some of what I have written has helped a little. I am so sorry that another young girl like me is suffering this terrible illness and another loving mother is suffering with her.
Take care and hope she can walk out of that little world too. Any time you or your daughter need anything, just come back to this forum, there are lots of supportive ladies on here.
M xxx