Pleased to report sofa delivered ok and was asleep on it within a couple of hours - very comfy.
Making steady progress out of worst s/e days. Went out for some girlfriends for lunch - took me all morning to get up and ready, but got picked up so driving not a worry and did manage to taste the food. Company and change of scenery very welcome. Now ready to lie down on that sofa again.
Take care angels xx
hi everyone
day 2 back to work, wow, its so hard. the aches and pains kicked in for a while today and i just had to sit and have a cuppa til it went off. i have to say ive been working with no painkillers though so tommorow i’m going back on the paracetomol and ibuprofen.
caz - your sofa sounds like just what i need!
Judy - i had mx and i dont show my OH anything, i always have a little camisole on for bed or something, i just cant do it and i dont think he can either. its worked for me so far, so i’m sticking with it. dont feel that you have to show everything if you dont want to. it is quite odd to be honest but it just has to happen to be able to get better, so i look at it like a means to an end. it doesnt help that the choice is taken away from you either. you’ll get it sorted in your head though.
Amber - they sat me down before rads planning and said ‘we cant see anything like cancer’ so they must get asked all the time. the ct scan i had to show up the cancer was preceded with an hour of aniseed type drinks which enables them to see the dodgy cells.
so early to bed again tonight after a soak for the old creaking bones
hope everyone is well and happy.
angie xx
Afternoon Angels,
Sandy and Judy, so sorry your both having such a rough time, just hoping you soon feel better.as I had the WLE I can only imagine your anguish with the mastectomy looming, but I think you are such strong characters you will take it in your stride when the time comes.
Caz, nothing like a really comfy sofa, mine has a dent in it now from all the somfy moments I’ve needed through this bloody long process.
Angie I truly admire you going back to work! The thought of trying to work at the moment is enough to make me swoon!
well I have been back in hospital, it would appear I just can’t stay away from the place! I have continued with this bloody chest pain and after yesterday’s admission I am finally under the cardiac team, so now have even more tablets to take and even more procedures to undergo! But as of Monday Im at the hospital everyday, sometimes twice a day ! Hopefully the new meds should sort out the chest pain, either way we are going to Yorkshire tomorrow to drop youngest daughter at grandparents to be spoilt for the week! Plus going to Whitby to the Magpie cafe for the worlds best fish and chips, and then Scarborough for my knickerbocker glory. would be lovely to see you Judy but understand that you are feeling pretty rough at the moment. At least if I do get admitted to hospital over the weekend, I know the food at Scarborough is good.
to all the other Angels hoping your all good, take care xx
Hi angels
Philomena what a pain that you’re having to spend so much time at the hospital. hope they sort you out now you’re under the cardiac team. Enjoy your trip to yorkshire, we have to grab the good moments when we can, don’t we?
sandy and Judy - sorry you’re both feeling rough at the moment. It’s horrible not being able to sleep, I think that wears me down more than anything else. I worry too about disturbing OH when I wake at night, so i try to creep downstairs without any lights, and he usually doesn’t notice until morning. if I have a really bad night he sleeps in spare bed, bit difficult at mo as eldest son is back from uni so we don’t really have a spare room! You never quite know who you’re going to find sleeping where in the morning. It really bothered me to begin with if we slept separately, but I’ve let it go now because we can both only cope if we get some sleep.
My side effect of the day is eyes- they’re really sore and running now. because i have to keep wiping them the skin around is sore too but I don’t know what to put on it so close to my eyes. i have eye drops from onc, but they don’t seem to help. tried antihistamines, helped a bit. Any ideas?
Just answered the door to the plumber who has come to fix water heater and completely forgot about bald head. He coped very well considering just looked slightly bemused, then i realized, felt quite embarassed and had to go get a scarf. Neither of us has mentionned it since, he’s still here!!!
love to all you other angels, hope everyone has a good day.
love Mel xxx
Last docetaxel day 6
Hi Angela feeling a wee but better today. Although still can’t taste anything unless its chocolate or jelly fruit sweeties, doing my waist line a world of good.
Mel I had the same problem with my eyes, I wear lenses normally and thought I had got an infection as eyes were running and sore. I went to optician he gave me a letter for my doctor to prescribe Celluvisc 0.5 eye drops solution. They have done the trick for me although it took a few days.
After reading that security asked you to take off your scarf at the airport. I thought I need to do something about my wig, because I would die if the asked me to take it off in public. I phoned my usual local hairdresser this morning to see if she could have a look at it, just had the wispy hairs that were going in my eyes and the ones at my ears made more choppy. Feeling more happy with it now. She would not take anything from Me either that was good service.
So sorry you ended up in hospital again Philomena especially when it is your heart hope they get to the bottom of it .
Lynn x
Hello Angels,
well tomorrow is CMF day no 3 out of 4! Been depressed all day and have not got dressed. I am dreading tomorrow. The ONC has suggested that if I want to I can forgo the last CMF. I am so tempted. I have had enough now, I can’t take anymore.
Mel, have you considered taking the tablets at hat are available as part as CMF, you would get fewer side effects and hair growth.
i have spent a few days away with my fiancé and I guess with tomorrow looming the anxiety is building again.
Debra.
xx
BRCA, family history, were you offered the test?
I asked what I should be advising my niece, and my Onc referred me to the Genetics Clinic.
I have just had my appt with a Genetics Counsellor, who told me I have a 10% chance of having the faulty gene BRCA1 or 2 due to family history, so I am having the blood test for this, results take 16 weeks to come through. Niece is 19, so current advice would be screening age 35 - 50, as I had.
Would I have been offered this appt if I hadnt asked?? I was having 2 yearly screenings up to age 50 (now 54), then bumped off, as told after age 50 my risk returned to same as the normal population. Now thinking why wasnt I offered the test before, would I have got it if had known to ask, and were they wrong to bump me off the screening, resulting in no mammo until diagnosis in Feb?
Chemo brain definitely affecting my logical thinking, but now I feel very short changed, am I being rational?
Re last post, chemo brain is causing faulty thinking - I would not have been 10% BRCA risk at 50 as I didnt have br cancer then, sorry angels, we’ve got enough facts to get our heads round without adding red herrings.
I was bumped off the screening at 50, told I was in the normal population for risk due to lack of females to compare in the family, only my mum and her mum, who both died of BC young (I still maintain this is faulty probability), and come direct to the clinic if I have future concerns. Phoned them when I found lump, to be told have to go via GP as last appt was too long ago, 4 weeks for ‘urgent’ referral, so still harbouring distrust. Now long wait for BRCA result, which will raise all sorts in my head which ever way.
Debra , you’re on a different regime to me, but if its any help, my SE’s varied dose to dose, so please stick with it, you’re so close really.
Take care everyone xx
Hi Fecinora, love th name by the way.
I am seeing the genetics team On Tuesday for BRCA 1/2 testing. My surgeon made the appt. as my mum and first cousin both had BC. Like you I always felt I was at risk but constantly told by " the professionals" that I wasn’t. I was due my first mammogram at 50 but the way they do it here in Norfolk is by GP surgeries, unfortunately my sursgery began with a T! I phoned the clinic and they would not move as this was how it was done! I eventually had my first mammogram just before my 53rd birthday.I discovered my lump 2 weeks after my 54th birthday. I did complain to the health authority as I felt that had it been done at the correct time my BC would have been caught earlier, but they just made excuses and said it was the best way of doing it, obviously not the best for me though. When I do eventually regain my full strength I am going to campaign for women to have there mammograms at the correct age not down to the bloody alphabet. Sorry rant over.
Debra I know your having a terrible time with your chemo, but you are nearly there. You obviously must do what you think is best, but just remember we are all here for you cheering you on your journey. Although I know that the chemo has damaged my heart, I don’t regret the chemo, in fact I was glad it was found a day after my chemo finished. Had it been a day earlier they would have stopped it. I think I would have always felt short changed by not having the full course.
Well Angels we are still on that long and winding road, but the light at the end of the tunnel gets brighter every day, and it won’t be long before we all meet up in Manchester with our flowing locks complaining about how long it takes to do our hair and having those bad hair days 
I can’t actually imagine myself with hair anymore, although have fluff white fluff on my head now.
goodnight girls xx
Hieveryone
I had my rads planning meeting today. The whole experience wasn’t as uncomfortable as I was expecting, and the tattoos are a lots smaller than I thought they would be. Moira my rads appointments start on Thursday 29th August at 9.24 (not looking forwardto negotiating Leeds city centre in Rush hour!) what time is your appointments? if they are in the morning we could meet up
Philomena - Sorry you are having to spend so much time in hospital at the moment, hopefully the cardiac team will get you sorted soon. I also assumed I would be called for my first routine mammogram within a couple of months of turning 50…I’m still waiting and I was 52 in June! I wrote a letter to the breast screening services last week asking why I hadn’t been called, I’ll keep you posted on their reply.
Sandy and Judy - hopefully the SE’s will have started to subside by now.
Debra - hang in there you are on the final leg now.
Angie - Well done on going back to work :). You must be really tired at the end of each shift.
by the way - my eyebrows have started to grow back yay
kim x
Morning Angels, hope you are all well. Diet and power plate sessions going well, have done 3 PP so far and def feel as if it’s doing me some good. Every muscle and wobbly bit is getting a workout without me having to do anything - fab
Going for dinner tonight and lunch tomorrow to catch up with friends then into work on Monday for lunch and a catch up, good to feel ‘normal’ for a bit albeit still getting really tired as the day goes on. Nails - BC nurse said there is nothing really that can be done. I’ve got my dodgy ones in plaster in the hope that the new growth will be ok and I can keep filing them down until the bit that is lifting is gone - wishful thinking I think!
Work - Plan fro me is to start ramping up a bit from next week. I can work from home so very lucky in that respect but intend to take it very slow and not over commit as I know how easy it is to get dragged back into the rat race. Word of caution for all those going onto rads. I thought it was going to be a piece of cake compared to chemo and I think from a daily s/e perspective it probably is however, I have spoken to a few people now who have advised you can be totally wiped out during rads and for a good few months after. Think we really need to take care on the work front! Angie - well done going back but try not to overdo it Mrs!
Philomena - hope you get sorted by the cardio team, what a pain your back and forth to hospital. Keep your chin up
Mel - had to laugh about the plummer, I answer the door bald all the time and at the moment I look like a gooseberry with white fluffy spikey hair - will def need to reach for the dye as soon as I can! Kim - I can also see the start of some eyebrow growth, can’t wait for the lashes now!
Judy / Sandy - hope you pick up soon and Debra , you’re nearly there girl!
Have a good weekend Angels, hope the s/e’s are minimal and the sleep fairies are kind
Love Pauline xx
Thanks Angels for your encouragement. Managed to drag my sorry ass of the bed to the computer to read your posts this afternoon. Its so good to have friends who understand. 
Philomena - Could you have some fish n chips for me in Whitby with lots of salt and vinigar. Oh and a touch of tartare sauce on the fish. Yumy. Have yukky mouth and can’t taste a thing so you’ll have to do it for me. Lets hope they get your heart troubles sorted out asap now your under a cardiac team and your daughter truly does get spoilt rotten at grannies.
Pauline - Have you got all your taste back now youve finished chemo and is the feeling of hunger always there still or is it subsiding? My wilpower for diet and excercise won’t be brilliant if im hungry like i am now.
Debra - Go for that last CMF. I still have one more Docetaxol too and OH is going to have to drag me kicking and screaming. But go I will just to make sure i’ve given it my all and given it a good kicking for him and my family and friends. All the best sweetie.
Fecinora and Philomena - Whatever the results are for BRCA testing I hope for you it is in the knowing that matters and how you can help others avoid this horrible experience.
Judy - How are you doing?
Kim - Your rads start on my birthday so will be thinking of you. Pleased the planning meeting went well.
Mel - Hope your eyes are better soon. You could go into healing. I gave my mum a hug the day after chemo and I had been crying. My wet tears washed a small raised mole on her face that she has had all her life. She rang me a couple of days later to say it had dried and peeled off.
Losing the will again. Time for another dose of paracetomel, power nap and dribling form the mouth. Have a good weekend Angels. xx
Afternoon Angels,
Im writing this on the A1. Stuck in a traffic jam by Doncaster? Thanks you girls for all the good luck wishes! I went for the echo this morning and the lady said it hadn’t changed much from pre chemo one,so will have to wait for the results from CT Angio, the meds seem to work anyway.
Pauline my MIL has one of these plate things so might have a go over the weekend
Sandy of course I will have an extra portion of fish, chips, mushy peas and tartar sauce for you you, it would be rude not to! Also you can now have the scarfe and crystall ball with you healing tears, you far n more deserving than me lol.
hope you all have a good weekend Angels with minimal s/e xx
Good Evening Angels,
Have been busy these last few days catching up with people I hadn’t seen for ages. Starting to feel normal again but I’ll take your advice, Pauline and treat rads cautiously. Bit concerned that my friend’s wedding is two days after the end of rads so I’m likely to have a large, sore, well-cooked boob to contend with and possibly no bra!
Had a heart stopping moment yesterday when I got a phonecall from the radiotherapy dept at Jimmy’s at 8.40am. Obviously, first thought was that something had shown up on the CT scan but, no, they simply wanted to delay me a day so I’ll now be starting the day before you, Kim. My appointment on Thursday is for 11.36 so you may have been and gone by the time I arrive. I’m sure that at some point we’ll coincide. They only gave me my first week’s appointments which is now only four because of the first day cancellation. I don’t envy you getting into Leeds first thing especially saying as they ask you to be half an hour early for your first session. Mind, at least you’ll have less chance of a delay that early in the day.
Got some bristly eyebrows sprouting too but they seem to be sticking straight up. At least they’re brown which is more than can be said for the sparse white bumfluff on my head! And I’m now a dab hand at kohl inner lid eyeliner.
Had a pedicure this morning. My nails are all still intact but big toe nails look purple and bruised. It seems that tax really takes it out of everyone. Don’t think I would have coped at all. Hope each and everyone of you gets back to good health as soon as possible.
You must be going through a worrying time at the moment, Philomena with both the heart probs and the BRCA testing. Hope it all comes good in the end.
Debra, hold your breath, count to ten and go for it - the last dose I mean. You’ve come this far. Don’t falter at the last hurdle. I was offered a reduced dose for my last one but decided to go for the full one. Now, if it comes back again I can’t beat myself up for not doing everything I could. If you’re feeling really bad perhaps you could have a reduced dose rather than none.
Off to cook dinner now. Would be more enthusiastic if I had some working salty taste buds but not long now…
Moira xxx
Hi Angels
sorry you are not feeling too good. Looks like we might not be able to post for a while from Monday. I went out for dinner tonight had a glass if wine did not taste of vinegar thank goodness Lynn x
hi girls
my goodness. we were on page 3, wondered where we had gone.
so done 4 days at work and spent most of my day off in bed asleep, i expected that though.
hows everyone doing, are the s/e’s wearing off yet? i’m day 18 and the mouth thing is starting to come back which i’m not best pleased about.
moira i agree, i could have had a reduced dose but i would rather get the full benefit so i had a normal one.
lynn glad you enjoyed your wine, watch them there tast buds - mine are all over the place !
philomena - you get about a bit despite all your complications, i like donny market, did you go there.
all missing angels, hope its because you are busy and not because you arent well
take care girlies
angie xx
Evening Angels,
Well managed to get to Scarborough today despite the terrible forecast, it only started raining as we left. Searched all the faces to find our Judy, hoping you were hanging about there! Got to go in the harbour Bar and had the most amazing choc nut sundae. My 12 year old had never been anywhere like it and has vowed that she will open one in Norwich when she’s old enough…so we all had bannana splits, eaton messes, manderinas. Truly lush.
Now totally stuffed and off to bed, goodnight Angels xx
Hi everyone,
I’m first up today in the caravan at Hayling Island (near Portsmouth). We’re here until Thursday evening, but have to go back for a family wedding on Friday. It’s so nice to have a change of scenery. I need to build up my leg muscles now as I went to the Trafford centre for a dress on Thursday and only managed a handful of shops within a small area as I was too tired to walk round. I did much better on Friday at Warwick castle, but had to stop for a few rests. I’m hoping to be doing much better by the end of the week before I start rads. I didn’t get my start date before I came away so I’m assuming the planning meeting will be the week I get back.
Philomena I hope the CT scan and bcra results come back ok and everyone else getsthrough their SEs quickly. Good luck to anyone who might be having chemo or starting rads this week.
Mel xx
Hello ladies, philomena, I’m so sorry I missed you on Friday in Scarborough, i have been feeling like crap! The worse thing now is the arm and leg pains, I think they call it peripheral neuropathy and from what I can gather it can last from months to sometimes years after chemo, especially with the docetaxol, I really hope not. I’m hobbling about like an old lady, stairs are just a killer both going up and down. My finger ends are numb and I think I’ve got 3 nails where the nail ends have all gone white as if they’re lifting off the nail bed. My finger nails are all bumpy too, they look awful. My hair doesn’t seem to be growing, it’s been stuck at about 4mm for the last week or two. i have a few really dark and long eyebrows coming through as well which look really silly.
ive got my letter through for the mastectomy, I’ve to be at the hospital by 7.30 am so hopefully that means they will get it over and done with quite early.
philomena, my sister has started the procedure to have the BRCA testing, I think it takes a few months to get the results through, I know she’s filled all the paperwork with the family history she knows of. I suppose it’s good news that your CT scan hasnt changed, at least there’s no damage from the chemo, fingers crossed with everything, it must be such a worry for you. You seem to be having fun in Yorkshire anyway.
i think I’m getting over the see food and eat it syndrome, hopefully it might start having an effect on my waistline as the Billy Bunter look is not something I want to keep from all this.
Mel, it sounds like your having a good time, I think I would have hired a mobility scooter for the Trafford centre, all those lovely shops, wouldn’t want to miss them.
Angie your putting us all to shame, working away as you are, your made of stronger stuff than I am, that’s for sure.
lynn I don’t drink but on Friday night they had a fundraising party at my mum and dads old folks home, in aid of breast cancer, so we had to go along and support it. Me and my mum drank a full bottle of wine between us. I was singing along to all the old songs, it ended with an auction, we won a pink red or dead pinny which my hubby wore for the night before handing it over to his mum later in the evening. I slept very well on Friday night and no hangover yesterday morning.
hope you all have a lovely day with minimal s/e, take care, judy x
Afternoon Girls,
Hope you’re all enjoying a nice sunny day!
Judy, sounds like you had a lovely time on Fri night any excuse for a few wines and a sing song. Sorry you’re not feeling so good, I find the leg pains the worst and it seems to be never ending, just glad there’s no more chemo dont think I’d cope very well. Glad you have any early appt for mx nothing worse than having to hang about.
Mel, lucky you to be away for a few days, hope the weather is kind to you. I think the chemo has damaged all our muscles I have no strength either, it’s so frustrating.
Philomena, that choc sundae sounds delicious and banana splits etc as well! Good luck with your results hope you get sorted soon.
Angie, where do you get the energy from? Seriously though be careful you’re not doing too much, take care of yourself.
Lynn, nice to get the taste buds back, I can taste most things now wine being one of them.
Moira, got the white bum fluff too apparently it’s called ‘chemo white’ and can change colour, lets hope so otherwise I’ll be getting the hair dye out as soon as I have enough hair.
Sandy, sorry you’re not feeling so good, hope you improve soon, take it easy and look after yourself.
Pauline, thanks for the advice on rads, guess we thought it would be a walk in the park compared to chemo. For me I think the travelling will be a biggy, 3hr round trip. I started healthy eating this week but the scales are not moving! Went out on my bike yesterday and had to give up cos my legs were so sore. Good luck with work next week.
Kim, can you ask to change your appt time to avoid rush hour! I have my first one tomorrow and am going to ask to avoid rush hour given the distance I have to travel. Worth a try!
Fecinora, good luck with BRCA results.
Debra, hang in there, you’re nearly finished!
So, rads start tomorrow, 19 sessions 15 plus 4 boosters. Must say Iam not looking forward to the travelling, but at least my oh is here for the first 8. I have been allocated a 10 min appt to get undressed, put in position, zapped and dressed again.
Lori have you started rads?
Good luck to all this week whether on the chemo train or sunbed sessions, hope s/e ate minimal, take care Angels xxx