Hi Angie
i know what you mean about the conversation, i know that peple are concerned kind ring kind but every conversation seems to start with my treatment, how I am etc. I now just say ‘I’m fine’ and then change the subject, as we have the big family wedding on the 28 th it’s quite easy to to change it to clothes, shoes, hats and bags at the moment Especially as 3 sister in laws haven’t got their outfits yet!!! With friends and work colleagues I just ask them to spill the beans on the gossip. Do you think I will ever just be Kim again or will I always be Kim…she has/had breast cancer you know, for the rest of my life?
Kate - Good luck with the chemo tomorrow
Linda - great to hear from you and really glad you are doing well.
Hope everyone gets a good nights sleep.
Kim x
Kate I’m so sorry to hear about your mum-in-law. I hope you are bearing up ok. It can’t be easy for you and your OH being apart at this time, especially whilst you are having your treatment too. I think we’d better let him off his house working duties for now 
Glasgowgirl -I’d consider postponing buying a wig too soon. I bought one which was similar to a style I’d had for years, but once I had my hair cut into a pixie crop I didn’t like the wig any more as I preferred the short style. The beauty of knowing you will lose your hair is that you can be brave enough to try new shorter styles first. I don’t think I will grow my hair long again now.
Angie- I will also be having 3 x Docetaxil (Tax)after my 3 FEC. I think we’ve had similar SEs on FEC so far. A nurse told me after my first infusion that her friend had been rough on FEC but absolutely fine on TAX so don’t worry too much. Everybody reacts differently to different medicines. In terms of too much focus on treatment I agree. It’s harder when you’re a bit cut off from the outside world. I had a real down period yesterday, but picked up a bit today as my hubby was working from home so Ihad some company. A friend from work came today as well, which cheered me up.
Hopefully tomorrow will be the day when I get a bit more energy back. Hope it’s good for everyone.
Kate,
So sorry to hear about your Mother in law. This is terribly sad news, thinking of you, your Husband and Family.
Hope you are coping well, and that your treatment goes well tomorow.
Take care,
Love Lori x
Kate so sorry to hear your sad news.Hope treatment goes well, and you can be with OH soon
About talking about treatment- I’m guilty of getting OH to field phonecalls now because I just don’t want to keep talking about it over and over. Sadly I’m not really doing anything else at tbe moment. It’s frustrating to have all this free time at home, and not be able to do all the things i’d like to be doing!
Glasgow girl- sorry you have found yourself on here but you will find great support. take it one step at a time. Just deal with today and try not to worry about the enormity of it all. I went from shoulder length hair to bob to pixie to a number 1 over several weeks. Also I found I couldn’t choose a wig until I had cut my hair shorter.Also I considered working, but you can’t really know until you start and see how the chemo affects you. I haven’t been able to.
Love to all mel x
Thanks Angels for all your good wishes, another 9 hour sleep so hopefully I’ll be okay for today. OH seems to be doing okay, albeit sad, he has now lost his mum, dad and brother to cancer over 13 years which must make it harder to deal with my dx too. I think his housework duties will have to wait a couple of weeks now…
i was told the same about TAX side effects being less than others if you moved on to it too so I’m hoping for that…in which case I may start training for a marathon! that is between sleeps obviously!
Off to hospital this morning, hope you all have a good day
Kate
x
Kate,
hope your treatment goes well today, stay strong, sending you big virtual hugs xxx
Hi Katebil, angiepops, pcmartin, Amber D, Mel A and maisiecake
Thank-you all for your replies - I am overwhelemed to get so many responses so quickly and have had a few (happy) tears. I do feel so lonely sometimes - not that my family and friends are not fantastic and supportive - but nobody knows what it’s like until you’re walking in those shoes.
Your advice re hair loss is great and so reassuring that you all gave the same advice to hang fire for a little while before rushing into anything.
I will try and join a group who are starting chemo at the same time as me - I can see from your threads that you’re all a great support to each other. I don’t have dates yet, but it should be in a couple of weeks I think. The forum is difficult to navigate around when you’re new and I just latched on to this thread when I saw “Undergoing Treatment Chemotherapy”
I am seeing my BCN this afternoon, so hopefully will know even more after I exhaust her with all my questions about chemo.
Thanks again to you all
Morning Angels, Fec cycle 2 day 16
Kate - Familys are one long lovely chain and as each link goes from here the bigger the chain gets up there. Lv n Prayers to you and your family. Go get that treatment - another box ticked.
Lori - Hope your feeling better now. I too am finding each cycle a little worse than the last.
Angie/Amber/Lori - I change to Tax after cycle 4 but I’m not sure which drug. Did you say 8 steroids a day? 
I don’t think i’ll be able to stand up. I’m on 4 a day for 3 days after Fec and that already makes me dizzy.
Kim - You just reminded me to get some parnsip/ginger soup out of the freezer for dinner.
Glasgowgirl - Welcome I have surgery after chemo so Kates post sounds good advice.
Pauline - Good to hear your dad finished rads and wishing you both many boxes of mini magnams.
Philomena - Hope your fridge is now straight and shiney. How funny.
Went to that appointment yesterday. It was for a measure to see how much the tumour had shrunk after 2 cycles of Fec, using ultrasound. I looked at the screen and could clearly see the marker. They were so pleased. From 45mm it’s now only 27mm at it’s most longest point some parts in the middle have almost gone altogether. So i’m to stay on Fec and await further progession and decisions depending on how the cancer deterioates. They are still expecting me to go on Tax after cycle 4 and then surgery. Anyone else in the same boat?
Lv n Hugs to you all. Sandy. xxx
Hi all x
Kim , my nose is ultra sensitive to smell ( & drips !! ) it drives me nuts, mainly the bathroom & chemical smells so ive resorted to using different cleaning products & loads of candles !
A few have mentioned worry about going on Tax , I was same fear of unknown , I’ve had all 3 now & in my situation found it no worse or easier than Fec just different , good differences ; less/ no sickness ( still took Emend ) hair started growing back , worse ; bone pain ( stabbing pain but over very quick ) & joint aches in face & legs helped by ibroprofen , paras & codeine at bedtime & radox baths ! breathlessness , all doable though , I thought Tax would be " easy" so got a bit of a shock first cycle but no harder than Fec, did hit a wall emotionally on cycle 5 but as with all SE’s everyone is different , my SE’s started day 3 & most subsided by day 10 just fatigue stayed , hope this helps & good luck to you all x
Karen x
ECMF cycle 2 day6
Kate hope today goes well for you.
Sandy congrats on your shrinking tumour, it’s so good to hear good news 
Sending love to you Debra, ECMF buddy, hope you’re ok.
Mel x
Fec t Cycle 2 day 12 (I think!) - still feeling very good and working a bit from home which is good as no BC conversations, just work - some things never change!!
Sandy - that’s brilliant news, well done lady, you must feel that the chemo has been worth it - I’m sure we all do now!
Karen - thanks for the info on Tax, I think we are back in the ‘unknown’ space just as we were before FEC so good to hear how it impacted you. One question, how did you cope with the steroids? i’ve been told I’ll need to take 8 per day from the day before treatment (asume just for a few days though) I’m really worried about sleep as really suffered from lack of sleep when taking steroids (2/3 per day) on fec. Can you take all 8 really early in the day and sleep at night??? thanks x
Hi Linda - nice to hear from you
Hope everyone is well xx
Hi PCMartin, yes I was concerned about the drastic increase in steroids to 8 a day !! I was told to take 4 tablets at 8am & 4pm starting the day before Tax for 3 days. Some girls take them at 2pm , my onc told me to leave it as long as possible but think it had to be at least 6 hours apart . For me I have a bright red, round face for a few days but have had no problems sleeping with them although I do wake up with hot flushes !
Yesterday I forgot to take my 4pm steroids ( thank you chemo brain ) & was wondering why I was starting to crash on day 1 ( normally its day 3 ) I had got the steroids out , poured a drink then forgot to swallow them !! Realised at 10.30pm & took all 4 then & still managed sleep !
just before cycle 2 I told my onc about the tax truck hitting home pretty bad on days 3-5 so she gave me a further 3 days of steroids to take ( ie 3 days @ 8 steroids & 3 days of 2 steroids ) but I found it just prolonged things , never got a " good week " & made me feel a bit low , so this time I’m just going to suffer the aches & pains quickly & just take the 3 days of steroids With a few more cocodamol ( codeine & paras ) & a radox bath helps loads too ! mind you everyone is so different , this is just my experience !
Good luck & always feel free to discuss anything on the Valentines thread
Karen x
Hi,
I’ve had 2 lots of Tax so far, with steroids like Karen. 8 a day for 3 days, starting the day before chemo. Apart from a red ring round my face I had no problems at all. I took my morning ones the second I got up, with a banana, and the afternoon ones 6 hours later whatever time that happened to be, but before 3pm. I was never over-hyper (just a bit hyper) and always slept well.
Linda xx
AC cycle 3, day 1
Hi Angels,
Sandy - that’s great news that the chemo is working - if it goes all together presumably you don’t need to have surgery or will you have it anyway?
I spent 4 hours in chemo unit today, bloods were fine - in fact better than last time and my hb is better than some people have normally so the spinach must be doing some good! The nurses were all very nice and wanted to give me lots of hugs, they were busy so I said I didn’t mind being delayed a little as no-one else was waiting with me so it didn’t matter as I had to phone a friend to collect me at the end. It worked out fine and I got a lovely chicken, bacon and advocado ceasar salad, followed by jelly and ice cream for lunch so I was a happy bunny! I’m now home and feel fine so fingers crossed I’ll be okay until my sister arrives tomorrow.
I was told today that Asda’s sell a large tin of Mango Pulp - it sounds lovely and I was thinking of making some ice lollies out of it, does anyone know if we are allowed to eat Mango?
Hope you are all okay and that the SE’s are manageable for each of you.
Kate
x
Hi Angels
Glad it went ok today Kate.
Thank you Karen and Linda for the reassurance about Tax. Knowing what we might face can often be reassuring as opposed to worrying about the unknown. Thanks for taking the time to post.
I’m finding rhubarb tastes great at the moment, especially whilst I still have the metallic taste in my mouth. Rhubarb crumble and custard -yum!
Kate - glad today went well, Mel - my mouth is watering yum!
Karen / Linda - thanks for update on Tax. Have you ladies found out yet roughly how long after chemo Rads start? Think I recall being told 3/4 weeks after last cycle. I’m desperate to start planning a holiday for when treatment is finished and trying to work out rough dates!!
thanks, Pauline x
Hi girls
I went back to work today - i’m out of the depression now, feeling normal again.
Kate - such a lot going on, hope you’re keeping your spirits up, thinking of you and your OH, so sad, i lost my mum to cancer, just so sad. Glad you’re fit and well again, the good bloods good, keep it up.
MelA - I think we are definately on the same bus! I asked my chemo nurse about the ‘tax’ if it was better or worse than the fec, she said it was different. She did say it is quicker to give, so less time in the chemo unit. Not much in the way of information is it!
Sandy - good news, you must feel great.
These steroids on the ‘tax’ - are they going to make us like crazy mad women? I dont know anything about steroids, dont they make you nasty? Am i watching too much telly dramas?
Oh, I got a new short wig today, OH says I look like a boy now. As if it matters 
Keep well everyone,
angie xx
EC cycle 2 day7
Good evening awesome Angels,
Just had my worst couple of days since starting treatment. Awful indigestion and pain, sore mouth, golf ball in throat (Angie),and legs turned to jelly. At least I’ve managed to sleep through most of it. Just couldn’t stay awake for more than two hours at a time. Now I’m starting to worry that this is the start of the downhill slope. Will it be even worse after number three? At least it’s only 48 hrs. I can do that!
Kate, so very sorry to read your sad news. Your mother in law is at peace now so hope you and your OH take comfort from the fact that you are so positive and fighting this bloody awful disease.
Glasgow Girl, welcome to the Angels. You say that no matter how many are there to help and support you, you still feel alone. These were my feelings exactly. In my head was a very lonely place. Please be assured it does get easier. Going through this process becomes the norm, friends and family start to forget to treat you with kid gloves (thank the Lord) and then you’ve got a lovely set of ladies who post on this forum who know exactly how it feels. You’ll feel sad with them, you’ll laugh with them and you’ll always have someone who listens and offers advice and practical solutions. You’ll be ok.
Sandie, you must be delighted and relieved that this awful treatment is showing you such positive results. Well done!
Looks like quite a few will be starting on the tax in the next few weeks. Don’t know what’s worse tax or 8 steroids a day! I couldn’t manage on 2 a day - now down to 2 on day 2, 1 on day 3 and 1 on day 4. Then just a touch of anxiety and paranoia day 5.
Kate, would have thought that there would be no problem with mango so go for it - are you getting some summer-y weather down your way?
Wishing everyone blue skies
Moira xxx
Thanks to all of you for the good wishes, yes my MIL is definitely at peace now and that is where she wanted to be once the downhill stretch had started a couple of weeks ago.
Moira - no summery weather, its been cold and miserable again today but I’m told that the mango freezes to make similar ‘sorbet’ to the outside of a solero so I’m thinking they would be lovely in any weather!
I’m hoping the SE’s don’t get worse on cycle 3 - I can be sleepy/down/suffering for 2 days but then I need to be okay for the next 10 days! I’ve got to travel to Durham, help OH sort out affairs (apparently I’m a joint executor of the will!), get home and then go off for the 2 day cruise! A hectic 10 days that I’m sure will be fine as long as I do some resting so worse SE’s aren’t an option! 
Angie - so how many ‘new you’ wigs do you have now? Are you wearing a different one each day or do you still have a favourite? Are you not on steroids with FEC? I am on 4 first thing in a morning and that makes me hyper apparently so if they then increase that to 8 I’ll be doing that marathon no problem - but only for the 3 days of steroids, then I suspect I’ll crash and burn!
Kate
x
hi kate
yes i think i get 3 steroids day 2 and 3, at which time, when my OH said there was a lot of ‘rubbish’ on my large dining table, i swept the whole lot into a bin liner and asked him if that was better. He just shook his head at me and went to his shed. thats the only steroids on fec isnt it? i really dont ask, i just take whatever they give me. I cant say ive been hyper though, at any point.
Youre going to be very busy kate, be careful that you look after yourself and dont push it too much, its so easy done.
i am on wig 4 because the longer bob ones lash me in the face at work and its quite hot. to be honest if it wasnt for scaring the general public i dont think i would wear one at all, but people on holiday dont want to be shocked, hence the wig.
angie xx