sorry girls - must have pressed wrong key as hadn’t finished.
Annie - how was Blackpool. Haven’t been there since kids were young. Did you go on some of the scary rides.
Maggie and Carol - it is just so mind blowing when first diagnosed. It is so hard to get decent help and it’s just left to you to find out as much as you can. I was first diganosed 11 years ago and there was no Maggies or much else so left very much on my own. Secondaries 4 years ago and things were a lot better. Maggies is so good but difficult to go regular when you’re on chemo.
Make sure you do exercises - they really help.
Maggie - I drive myself when getting chemo. Hope you get some help when you go to Kilmarnock. Wigs are so much better now and if you have a good hairdresser they should be able to style and cut it for you.
Just had couple of nights away in Crieff - rained most of the time
Went to Gleneagles for coffee - it was really beautiful - a lovely treat.
Love to you all
Sheila
Goodevening lovely ladies
Well what a complete idiot I made of myself today.
Took the dog in the back of the car (plenty water and windows open for him)…Went to the Southern General to get heart monitored pre chemo. All went well apart from the fact it took longer than I thought. (but knew the dog would be fine and just sleep)
Then thought I’ll pop along to Maggie’s.
I didn’t have any money on me…and everywhere I went it was metered. I went round and round and round…Iv not been in Glasgow for so long I didn’t realise Kelvin way was now metered.
Dog was getting hot, I was getting stressed.
Found a parking space about a mile away from Maggie’s.
Walked in and met a lovely lady called Chris, I said Im into get some help about Finance, she showed me a sheet with a load of names and was about to add my name…said “if you take a seat Carol will see you soon” all of a sudden I could feel tears welling up (what a plonker) and said “I have to go, I have to go” it was busy and I was making a fool of myself. I told her I was worried about where I was parked and the dog being too hot. She was so lovely…but I had to get out.
Dunno if I can go back in now…I feel such a fool tonight.
Can’t say I didn’t try …going to have a large gin and a stir fry.
Sorry about the big posting.
Lots of love girls
Maggie xxx
PS seeing a clinical phycologist Tues morning…boy…has she got her work cut out 
Hi Maggie,
Sorry you had such a shitty day!! Don’t worry about thinking you’ve made a fool of yourself!! I’ve seen many a weary weepy wuman in Maggie’s!! And I’ve been one of them!!
I’ve always prided myself with how I “keep it all together” not now I’m afraid!! But one thing I will say is that Maggie’s is probably one of the only places I feel able to be me. Well me the new person! I’m Mum, Daughter, friend at home, but in Maggie’s I’m just me!! Bit battered and frazzled round the edges, but me!
You should go back, forgive yourself for the Wobblies, because you’ll definately have a few more, so be kind to yourself!! I’ll even meet you next time. Just don’t forget your £1 for the meter. You get 4hrs in car park across from transport museum!! We’ll have tea/coffee and I’ll show you round!
When is your chemo date? One of the other girls was just saying we should try meet up in a couple of weeks. Nice wee lunch? I’ll be celebrating of course(last chemo!) so once I’ve dragged my head out of the toilet next week, we can get arranging?
Right I’m prattling, on iPhone so I’m losing track!!
Hope everyone is doing good
big hugs
fiona xxxx
Hi Maggie
I’m really sorry you’ve had such a crap day, but you’re dealing with an awful lot at the moment so don’t be too hard on yourself – its a really emotional journey that we’re going through and they’ll be loads more tears!
I think going into the Maggie’s centre by yourself to ask for help is a huge emotional step to take, so don’t let what happened today put you off – you were obviously having a really stressful day. Remember everyone else there is going through a similar scary time and the staff are all there to help, so please go back. I know quite a few of the girls here go to Maggie’s a lot and have had a lot of support. Maybe you could arrange to meet someone there??
Anyway just a quick update on my arm - I went through to the hospital this afternoon to see the BCN and get the lump checked out. She thinks it’s just severe cording and said we’d monitor it, but I might need to get a line put in as I’ve still got 6 chemo’s left and my veins are really crap. I was also asking about my immune system and how it dips with having CMF on day 1 & 8. I just happened to mention that I was following standard guidelines by avoiding crowded places at the moment and that I’d imposed a ‘no contact rule’ at the wedding last weekend and also as kids on the close are coming back from hols abroad, I’m imposing a 1 week quarantine on them by not having them in the house to play. She was really concerned that I was being a bit OTT and obsessive about it – am I? I thought that I was just taking sensible precautions to limit exposure to infections.
I also got her to check out a small lump I’ve got near my scar as in the back of my mind I’m just worried it’s the second lump that appeared on the initial scan, but wasn’t there in the pathology report; the surgeon did say the lump was just stretched to appear as 2. She doesn’t think is anything and is just a wee lobe but as I’m concerned about it, I can get it checked at the breast clinic when I’m getting my chemo on Tues.
Hope everyone is OK and looking after themselves.
Lots of Hugs
Helen
Hi Fiona
I must have been typing at the same time as you. It’ll be really good to meet up again for Lunch, seems ages since the last one.
Helen
Hi lassies,
I’m back and knackered.
Maggie and Carol, warmest ((((((hugs)))))
Maggie, what a horrible experience for you, on top of every-friggin-else! The news that you have BC just spins the world off it’s axis, I think it’s like being in the twilight zone. Everything LOOKS the some but NOTHING is the same! And there is nothing in your expectations to prepare you for this. As Fiona said, tears and wobblies are ok at Maggie’s, or any place dealing with illness. You might have many things to sort out. Maggie’s might be a good place to start.
Wigs: you get one every 6 months. If you are not on benefits, you might have to pay a prescription charge. I my case if was £6. Andrea at Hair Boutique in St Enoch Square is lovely. She was recommended by the BCN at Hairmyres. They are very busy, so call NOW. her number is 0141 221 9400. The BCN will send her an invoice.
Information: about YOUR cancer, your treatment, what to expect, time lines etc …
Finances: how you are going to manage to support yourself through this time of trial …
Emotional support: who can help you to talk about your concerns and fears … counceling, group support etc .
Practical support: who will be able to give physical support or help with everyday tasks, should you need it …
Holistic support: relaxation, reiki, etc …
It is such an overwhelming thing to happen, so you would have to be superwoman to take it in your stride. So don’t beat yourself up because you had a wee crisis, especially as you were worried about your wee dog!!! Was he ok when you got back?
I will be more than happy to meet you if you are wobbly about going back! Might be a good idea to make an appointment with Carol rather than being put on a list. She will allow enough time to make sure than you will get all you are entitled to. Be aware though, getting it is a lenghty process, or can be. It is in my case.
What kind of dog do you have?
Fiona, how are you this time, are you keeping ok? When are the boys back? It’s reassuring that they have not been too affected by your treatment and are still the boys they were. Me,I hate being treated differently, but want to be treated considerately. Is the house ringingly quiet? Or Goldenly silent?
Jo, finishing line, just like your run. How the F&&^ did you do that on chemo??? Feeling splendid now? Tell us all!!
Helen, how’s the arm? Are the kids giving you peace during the hols?
Anyoldhow, getting my echocardiogram tomorrow morning. Loved Blackpool, great seeing everyone and left enough stuff there that I won’t have to take too much back down during my next 12 week course of chemo. I am trying to get dental work fitted in before hand - and I will have to even postpone that as my brother is taking me over to Ireland the week after next. He is the sole guardian of his children, one of whom is severely autistic (she is 10). He has to organise his work carefully. So hopefully, I can rearrange everything (again!!) tomorrow!!! After/during echo. Dunno? Feel like I am messing everyone about, but need dental work done before I start chemo. Och well, one thing at a time eh??
Will HAVE to drop stuff off at Maggie’s tomorrow, after hosp. Anyone going to be there?
Annie xx
Fiona, Im going to the Beatson on Tuesday…not for chemo (get my dates for that in Monday) Im getting a bit of councilling. Dinnae worry, yes I am ‘bonkers’, but not scary bonkers. More just dazed and confused bonkers he he!!
Maybe see you there ? I’ll be the one in the fetching straight jacket 
Thank you all for being nice about my meltdown at Maggie’s,
Ive been up all night fretting about other stuff. Hence the reason Im
writing this at 5am.
I definately could do with someone coming with me next time, maybe we should all go en masse.
Annie…the dog is a big welsh collie, and he was fine. Within an hour of my wee crisis I was in the countryside and he was running about.
Helen, something Im very worried about x-infection.
what’s the policy on this. And thank you for your information xx
The wig thing is something Ive tried not to think about too much.
Maybe just in denial.
Supposed to be going to Kilmarnock in a few hours, but I think I will have to cancel for another day. Need to get car MOT’d and taxed as my treatment starts soon and I don’t want to leave that till last minute. (also don’t want te same thing happening…walking in and breaking down like a big daft lassie)
Hope you are all keeping spirits up
Right Maggie…time for your medication.
Catch yoooz later
Maggie and Jack the dog
Oh Fiona, I know that everyone has different side effects, but you mentioned throwing up, my BCN says I should expect to feel really lousy, but if i continually throw up, I should get my medication changed. Am I being nieve? or is she playing it down as to not worry me?
hello jack the dog, I have had a rubbish week, just no energy cant be bothered, think im getting worried about appt with oncologist at Wishaw on Tuesday re lump in my neck and radiotherapy dates, but that depends on my neck lump!!
Tamoxifen is kicking in now as night sweats and flushes seem to be an everyday occurance, not what I needed at 42!!!
oh the joys, sorry for being a moan
another exciting day ahead (not)!!!
hope you all have a great weekend
Carol xx
Hi Maggie - you are having such a hard time of it. It’s so hard to take everything in. I am sure you will get help at Maggies. I did a Stress and Relaxation course there. It was 1 morning a week for 6 weeks. I found it really helpful. I also had a few sessions with Claire the Psychologist there. It’s good to talk to someone who is not emotionally involved. Do you have family near. Do you know what chemo you’re getting yet. I am having a break from chemo and starting to feel a bit better so if there is anything I can do I would be pleased to help. I live in East Kilbride with no family at home. Don’t worry about being sick - you will get anti nausea tablets and they usually help.
Helen - try not to worry too much about infections. I think if you’re careful and stay away from anyone who is ill. I got a bit obsessed about washing hands. You should ask about getting a line in. First time I had Hickman which was OK but a bit awkward. Last twice I have a Porta Cath - it’s really good as it is under the skin so doesn’t get in the way. Although chemo stopped mine has been left in as I’ll be back on chemo in a few months. I just get it flushed at hospital every 4 weeks.
Fiona - have you plans for the weekend before chemo next week. Hope you feel OK.
How is everyone else - Sharon, Joanne, Pauline, Annie, Carol. Yvonne - haven’t heard from you for ages - are you OK.
Anyone doing something nice at weekend. Babysitting for my daughter tonight and no other plans.
Love to meet up soon
sheila
Hi Sheila
Thank you for your thoughts…no I don’t have any family. I have two sisters who are chosing not to contact me.
Ah such is life. I think that’s why Im losing the plot a wee bit, no-one to sit down with of an evening and pour my heart oot’.
I have a couple of friends but don’t want to bother them too much…let’s face it. Everyone is going thru’ a tough time with the recession etc.
Carol, ‘Jack the dog’ says Hi…but unfortunately he is not so good on the keyboard anymore…bit of arthritis. He sends his love and say’s don’t worry to much, no point worrying, he hopes the neck lump is nothing…and no point worrying until you get results.
and he also says…you don’t have a spare biscuit by any chance?.
My mum (who died 8 years ago) had a saying…you die you worry…you die you don’t !!
Worrying solves nothing. Live for the moment.
Don’t mean to sound depressing, but Im a terrible worrier,
the worst ! I try and remember what she said. Worrying takes Sooo much out of us, and at this time we should be looking to the future.
We are all in the ‘system’ now. We know we have/had lumps and bumps.
There are soooo many people out there oblivious to the fact they are walking about with malignant tumours…lets face it girls…might be tough…but we are the lucky ones.
Ok…that’s me said my bit…hope you ALL have a great weekend, make the most of it.
Maggie and Jack the dog xxxxxx
thanks for cheering me up this morning Maggie, the comment about so many people with malignant tumours out there is true, I never really thought about it that way and I know I am lucky because my cancer was found inside fatty tissue!!
well I am off today into Glasgow shopping with hubby and kids, should be interesting because I have just be too tired to go to the shops, but I am being taken for lunch so I will be in bed for about 7.00 tonight!!!
hope all the other girls ok, Fiona, hope you are ok with chemo next week and not missing your boys too much
must get wee Jack some dog biscuits
love
Carol
Carol, that’s the spirit! My tumour was the size of a tangerine and was only a year old. It would have kiled me for sure if I hadn’t had it treated, prob in about a year. So I CERTAINLY certainly count myself lucky.
Both Carol and Maggie, you will be able to apply for a MacMillan grant for a few hundred. I got 2 small grants for essentials, feul costs and to have my shower replaced. It all helps. I am now at the end of my income - Carol from Maggies will now be applying for Income Suppport, which is there when our contributions end. I’ve been told not to worry, as I will be better off! So you will need a pro
Sorry, using the phone, fiddly. Like I was trying to say is that the system is so byzanine and complicated, you will need professional assistance, soonest as the benefits system does not prioritise for urgent cases. Only terminal ones. If the finances are in place to pay bills, we can use our reserves to get better!
Maggie, if you want to go to Maggies on Monday, I will be pleased to take you. You can then make an appt to see Carol. There are other activities too. Get your blue badge too. one wee concession for cancer sufferers. You get it from your local Q&A, and you doc will fill in a section.
Do let us know as soon as you can what chemo you are on. There will be someone
who can share experiences. I was on FEC before my op, now I have to have 4 courses of Tax + Herceptrin. Sharon and Fiona had this treatment too.
I am tring to get a few wee breaks before starting again. Going to Ireland on 3rd (hopefully). Getting dental work done
the following week, then Herceptrin on the Monday, tax on Tue. Got to finalise with Hairmyres. Hope they ok it!
It is all doable, just a process. And you will be surprised at how strong you are. Waiting is the hard bit. Believe me. I think if you involve yourself in thr whole thing you are more of a participents and kess of a patient/victim.
Maggie, your sisters might be too upset to call you!!! My darling cus, I have a room in his house, took a months to call me tho my brother said he couldn’t stop crying! Then when he called he was mega cheery and didn’t mention the ‘c’ word! Still finds it hard.
You know you have friends here, if you want, I will pm you my phone no. You are not alone!! With love to you all and a special hug for Jack the Dog. I have 3 cats and they are such fun. I am animal daft and think they are better than medicine for moral!
Just a thought … I could get really good rates if anyone fancies a wee Blackpool break … Can sometimes get passes, tickets for shows etc too. It would be great if we could get a seaside break before summer ends.
With lots of love to all you brave and wonderful girls.
Annie xxxxx
Well…I had a smashing day, ended up on West Kilbride beach and bumped into friends, we had a magical time building sandcastles with their little girl.
They have told me I can stay with them for a couple of nights (first two nights of chemo) to see how I get on. Then they intend to help with Jack the dog…phew…that’s good news.
Carol thank you for your reply, I hope you had a good day today, (did you treat yourself at the shops?) wasn’t the weather glorious. Jack sends his love and is completely worn out after playing frisbee for hours (good excercise for my sore arm too). Still concerned about the biscuit situation…he’s petrified of cats he he!!!
Annie, Blackpool sounds great (Ive never been) that would be something to look forward too.
Ive got the RAH on Monday, that’s the day I find out when my chemo starts. Ive got to get home after that as the plasterer is coming to fix ghastly big hole in ceiling after my flood last week.
Is Tuesday any good for you? Im at the beaston on Tuesday 10.30am…to see clinical phsycologist…but should hopefully be out after a couple of hours (unless of course the get me committed) holy moly I hope not !!
Hope you are all having a restfull evening. Im exhausted and being by the sea today has a wonderful calming affect on me…hope it lasts till Monday…eeek!!
Love & Hugs
Maggie and Jack
xxxxxxxxxx (woof)
Hi Girls,
Maggie, glad you had a lovely day yesterday… what a nice repreave from having to think about all this, even for an afternoon… I got taken for a run to Loch Lomond and Helensburgh which was lovely… very tired though…was hoping the weather would buck up today to allow me last day out before chemo, but doesn’t look like it.
I’m at the beatson at 9am on Tues for chemo but then I have to scoot along to see the oncologist about 11am…Good luck at the phsycologist, I’m sure you’ll feel much better after venting to someone, especially when they’ll be able to answer any questions…
Good luck Carol for Tuesday, I’m sure everything will be fine… doesn’t stop you worrying though…
I have the nurse led clinic at the Beatson tomorrow so I’m going to see what medication changes I can have to help with sickness but Im not holding my breath on it working, injections seem to be the only way…I’ll start getting quite down about it all tonight, like a wee black cloud…I just have to keep saying it’s my last one, I can do this and I will feel better this time next week…at least the boys will still be away and I can concentrate on me.
well I hope all you other Girls are doing fine, I love reading your posts and catching up with how you all are. Lunch is sounding good, I was so upset to miss the last one… I’m a bit more chilled out about swine flu now that it’s calmed down a bit.
Love and Hugs to everyone
Fiona xxxx
Hi all
just a quick word to say still alive and kicking been busy no problems with chemo so far just had last epi will chat soon glad you are all still managing to survive the ups and downs, waiting for visitors to arrive from south america will be kept busy.
well I done Glasgow and was knacked last night, in bed at 8.00pm, got nice sporty bra top things out of primark as my bras are just a waste of time just now, 2 for a fiver!!! got a nice top in next sale but ive put on so much weight with sitting in the house doing nothing and stuffing my face, I had to get a size 16!!! oh the joys
getting a bit anxious about Tuesday, I am really ratty today, kids and hubby staying out of my way
hope you all get on ok this with with chemo, visits to maggies and anything else you are all up to.
I have registered for the young womans forum in March, think it will be good, thanks for the tip Fiona.
take care
Carol x
HI Guys
What a change in the weather eh?
Fiona, sweetheart, good luck for today then you can just get rid of all the nasties in the coming weeks. You have done good girl!!
Good Luck Carol for Tuesday. There’s a top tips with chem thread that will give you lots of ways to get through it, and out the other side.
Says me, who is dreading TAX! I’ll feel better once I know it’s effects on me. It’s the permanent s/e warning that is worrying me …
Maggie, I will be most happy to meet you on Tuesday to go to Maggies!! Carol (the Welfare Right Officer) called me this morning and I told her we would be in tomorrow. It is the best support Maggie, and believe me, tears and wobblies are welcomed!! Sometimes it’s the only place you feel you can cry! (That and the Haven in Blantyre - how lucky am I to have that on my doorstep. I am getting a 6 week session of reflexology there. Bliss!) Private message me your mobile and I will call back. We will send away for your DLA form. You can hand over your financial fears to Carol, God knows how she does it for everyone, but she does! Such a weight off your shoulders. I have always been a good money manager, always earned a decent income, but my brain just turned to mush! We’ll make an appt for you, you are allowed ages to get everything discussed. They have drop in activities every day. I have never taken full advantage of them, but will.
Yvonee, a relief to hear from you and that you are fit and kicking and tolerating the chemo so well.
Off to the bank now, got to sign some forms because they mucked up the transfers of my Direct Debits, they went into a small saving account. Gonnie kick off a bit. I have met with such incompetance from banks, benefits offices etc in the past 7 months. Sick of it and don’t need it!!!
A meet would be great, if anyone is feeling up to it! I am just waiting to see if my brother has made the arrangements, flight etc for Ireland next week so that I can rearrange my chemo. No point in calling Hairmyres till then. Dentist week beginning 10th, prob Herceptrin Monday thereafter, Tax on a Tuesday. No idea how I’ll react!! Anyway that’s my busy 'social schedule/ HA! anybody free round about that???
Shiela, I will be in East Kilbride for bloods and paperwork soon. I always go with my sister, but do yo fancy a coffee, or sonething stronger afterwards? Be great to meet.
Sharon, likewise. So glad you have at least got your DLA and hope it was backdated. Any results on ESA yet? And assistance with the mortgage?It’s shit that we have all these additional pressures eh?
And the rads, when do you expect to start them? Will you be getting Herceptrin for the year too? I’s a wee bit worried now as I have read that it can affect the heart. Mind you, all our treatments affect something, don’t they. Is it painful when the nails come off. I have hellish nails and FEC has made them even worse. I am always banging them and it’s sore as they are so weak!
Any more news about a wee hol with your folks? Boy girl, do you deserve that!
The very best to all going through treatment over the next few days, do post and let us know how you are coping! Hope to see you all really soon.
Maggie, see you tomorrow! Are you bringing Jack? If you like, when you are having your meeting with Carol, I’ll take him for a walk in Kelvingrove gardens.
Annie xxx
Hi Girls
Hope everyone is OK and had a good weekend.
We had a quiet girls weekend as John took the boys off camping, although my peace is now shattered and the house a tip as they got back at lunchtime.
Got my bloods done today for chemo tomorrow – getting more and more difficult for the poor nurses to find a vein, ended up having to go in twice and she insisted on trying a vein in my hand as couldn’t find one in my arm, so now my hand is all bruised and sore before I get chemo - great start!. I’m not looking forward to tomorrow, chemo is bad enough but I’m just getting a bit stressed about having to get another lump checked out at the breast clinic. I know the probability of it being anything when I’m getting chemo is low, and the chances are it’s just a wee lobe, but it’s just still scary.
Fiona – How did you get on at the clinic today? Any luck with different sickness medication? Good Luck tomorrow with the chemo, I know the next few days will be really tough but at last its your last chemo.
Annie & Maggie – good luck tomorrow at Maggies – hope you get your finances sorted.
Carol – Good luck at your appointment tomorrow will be thinking of you.
Sheila – I hope your grand-daughter was good for you at the weekend.
Sharon & Pauline – How are you coping with the rads?
Yvonne – Good to hear from you. Glad you’ve managed to survive the EPI. CMF seems a lot less harsh, but because its on a 4 week cycle it seems to drag on for longer.
Lynda – How are you doing?
Well off to try to tidy up the devastation my boys and other half have caused.
Take care all.
Helen
xxx
Good Evening,
Just back from a wee run to Largs!!! very nice… icecream and chips!!
Maggie, how did you get on Today? when do you start chemo?
Carol, good luck for tomorrow, hope all goes well.
Helen, Good luck with chemo!! crap isn’t it? awful to hear you’re having to get another lump checked out. I had that at the start, turned out to be a cyst. I have loads in my good breast apparently. Good breast has been really sore, going to ask onc about it tomorrow just incase it’s chemo before I phone breast nurse. The nurse has organised different anti sickness for tomorrow, here’s hoping it works. not sure what I’m getting as she had to see doc about it after I left.
Annie, Good to hear you are fine, hope you enjoy you’re wee trip next week. Don’t worry about Tax I’m sure you’ll be fine. nice to get away and clear your head before you start again…
Pauline and Sharon, how’s the boobs? are rosy and pink? hope you aren’t having any problems.
Yvonne, good to hear from you, I’m so pleased you’re coping well with the chemo… good luck with the visitors.
Sheila, Glad to hear you are feeling better now you’re having a break from chemo… how long will you be off it?
Well Girls, might not be back on for a few days depending on sickness… fingers crossed they get it right this time!!
Lots of love to you all, I’ll be catching up with your posts from under the duvet on my iphone.
Hugs
Fiona xxxx