anyone out there?

Any other gay women going through this?
I am 24, the doctors etc have been very accommodating to me and my partner. I have felt some barriers though because of my sexuality. Such as the femininity and pushing the need to stay feminine like cold cap, look good feel better. Now I am quite feminine to look at but I don’t think I see the same *absolute* identity in my femininity. And also they were really into the fertility side and were surprised when I said I was already prepared that I might not have children or my own children.
It was funny though my oncologist was cringing when she had to tell me not to get pregnant whilst having chemo with my girlfriend in the room, she said I’m sorry I just have to say it because the form tells me to :slight_smile: xx

Hi Hannah, I hope you are ok and that chemo is going well. I have heard that the cold cap works well for some people but it is painfully cold for about ten minutes if you can stand it.
You are so young, too young to be having all this cr** and my heart goes out to you.
Re: barriers because of your sexuality…how about you have a little usb recording device on you at appointments? Anyone says anything offensive and you got it coveredx I’ve been doing this at my appts because I find it hard to remember all that is said, with all the new terms and tx that are discussed.
I think you are supposed to ask if it’s ok to record first. They will always say yes:)

Sending all my love and support and best wishes
big hugs
x x

Hiya songbird thanks for your reply.
I chose not to use the cold cap because I felt that I’m not bothered about my hair falling out & using wigs / hats & scarfs… I don’t find my hair a major part of my identity I guess as straight women would. But nurses didn’t seem to understand what I was saying, they just saw a young woman I guess and presumed I would be attached to a feminine image. No one has said anything offensive to me, the thing with the oncologist was funny. The part I find hard is that so much of the support seems focused around maintaining femininity, but not all women are bothered by that!!!
How are you getting on with your treatment? Xx

Hey Hannah,

I’m a newbie to this forum.

I can appreciate your frustrations ref somewhat daft questions that may not seem fitting or relative , but . . . being from a medical background myself, I can understand the docs/nurses angle also Some of it IS necessary. The forms are a type of safety measure, to ensure all possible areas/questions have provided CORRECT info to avoid any possible medicall “mishaps, misunderstandings” as possible from YOUR point of view as well as their own. Rather than beingi taken aback and your own thinking that the certain questions may seem absurd to you, treat it that these medical staff are wanting to ensure that BOTH parties are adequately informed and advised. It’s conscienciousness - had to think about that spelling. This being very much an age of litigation but also of such incredibly advanced procedures.


And hey, you and your partner may have possibly  been trying to get pregnant or had thoughts of (obviously with other methods and means involved - hee!).Try and cut them a bit of slack - try to giggle at it rather than get UMPTY, defensive, aggressive. We are, after all, a very minority group and these days, a very diverse one with regards to bearing children, the advent of legal same sex marriage etc.


Have a think on.

Well wishes to you and your partner, girlfriend, wife??

Delly xxx.