Poor BiBi…really hope you’re feing better today. Sending you a massive supportive hug. You are right…the only way is up! xxx
I had my second Taxol on Friday. It was ok. Cold cap was very uncomfortable again but a little bit more tolerable. Again I closed my eyes and drifted off for most of the time which helped cope.
I’ve felt ok since (sorry BiBi!) but was a bit emotional and down yesterday. I’ve been a bit tired and fuzzy headed. I kept bursting into tears. It’s all just so much to cope with - worrying about hair, all other side effects, tiredness, wondering what the hell has happened to my life, trying to be healthy. I’m finding it hard going at times. Everything in my life has changed so much since diagnosis in June. I’m used to being busy and active and now my days are spent resting, going to the hospital or preparing healthy meals. I’ve gone from career focused busy working mum to a sickly housewife. Some days it’s hard to accept. I know it won’t be forever but it feels like that some days…sorry for the moan…I’ve got a friend coming for lunch today so hopefully that’ll cheer me up.
Hope you’re all feeling ok. I really do. xxx
I know exactly what you mean blonde ambition with the whole career family thing. I was in the very early stages of opening my own hair salon with my current boss who I have worked for 15 years!! I haven’t been anywhere near the salon since finding out as can’t face seeing anyone. He’s also stunned me by only paying me statutory sick pay since being off!!! To think this was a person who I was about to go into business with! I’m not working through chemo as I want to spend time with my children on the days I’m feeling good and not dashing into work. All this has really made me think differently about my life and career. I’m going to take a massive back step. No more dashing around fitting haircuts in after work. I’m going to have Saturday’s off for the first time in 20 years and enjoy life! Ha sorry for all that. I’m sure you all didn’t need to know that!! Xxx
I agree with you Lisa. I got very stressed out trying to get everything done and now I’m going to take a step back and look for a very mundane un stressful job when this is all over with no responsibility. It will be a pay cut but I rather spend the time with my family and friends xxxxx
Thanks all for your wonderful support yesterday. I am actually posting s/thing positive this morning you will pleased to hear. Threw up the tablets again last night, burst into tears, similar thoughts to yours BlondeAmbition, got so over exhausted that I fell asleep until 6 am. What a godsend! When I woke up I felt sick but not that bad, managed to get down a glass of water and two anti-sickness tabs AND KEEP THEM DOWN!! Felt like I’d won the lottery! Also has some dry toast. Yippee! Then went back to sleep. I’m hoping the worst is over, but don’t want to jinx myself. How vile this whole experience is, but as long as you get a big of respite between the worst it makes all the difference. Green sludge & post op exercises firmly in the back seat whilst I’m in survival mode. Hugs to you all xxxx
LisaJane I cannot believe your work colleague has done that to you. How mean! Haven’t they got a caring bone in their body? Maybe you’ve had a near miss & best you found out about their horrible side before you went in together. Lots of the girls round here do mobile hairdressing when kids are at school.they seem to do ok & don’t have horrible boss to deal with. I think we’ll all be different after this . .x
Thanks Ladies…I totally agree that this whole experience makes you really think about what you want to do and who you want to spend time with. I too am seriously considering a total change. I just want to spend as much time with my son, husband and other family as possible. Material possessions and stupid work targets just don’t matter one little bit when you’ve faced this. I just need to win the lottery now though ? xxx
Unfortunately the whole idea of ginger just makes me feel sick after yesterday! I do fancy a lucozade though, something I would never touch usually, so hubby just dispatched off to get some now. Just had a stroke of luck at the GP as the practice nurse who did my neulasta injection also works at the Marsden. She asked me how it went, I relayed the whole sorry saga & she immediately got onto the ward to get my notes annotated. Apparently the 24 hour hotline bloke didn’t bother to put anything on my file at all! Need all the ammunition I can get to go into battle with Mrs No Emend next time She said now I’m on top of it that the worst should be over. So pleased to hear that. ? tears of relief xx ps thanks again for helping me through last night.
Sue What a lovely cheery post. Clear mammogram is what this is all about. So pleased for you. You must be over the moon. Hope you are out celebrating! x
LisaJane all the best for tomorrow. The actual treatment was much easier than I thought, not worth all the anticipation worry. I did have a couple of paracetamol to help with the cold cap first, which meant it was less painful when they were trying to get the cannula in. The other thing I would advise is to ask if you can take a sick tab as soon as you start to feel nauseous, rather than before bed. I think if I had done that I might have averted a lot of unpleasantness. Let us know how you are when you feel up to it. We’ll be thinking about you. xx
Thanks Bibi I’m all set I think. I have my ginger biscuits and ginger beer ready! I’m going to stock up on a few mags first thing. The nurse mentioned me taking a hairband to protect my ears?!! I just want to get this first one started now xxx
Good luck Lisa let us know how you get on will be thinking of you. You will be fine 
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I was told to take a hairband, conditioner, comb, spray & towel, but they had it all there anyway & had never heard of putting conditioner on before the cap. It was a tip from a mate of mine treated at Marsden Chelsea. Anyway we didn’t put any on & my hair was super dry when it came off & had to spray leave in conditioner on it to get it back to normal. Next time I would put it on I think. Also read somewhere drink tea as it cools down to stop brain freeze. Your head can’t decide if it’s cold or hot. Good luck!!
OMG Bibi you need to not leave hospital the next time until they give you Emend. I’ve been fine post 2nd chemo round… other than losing hair, which is really hard (but at least it means no more cool cap :-)), and that horrible taste in mouth.
Hi, I am from the September group. Had 1st chemo on 3 Sep. Used the cooling cap but hadnt given any thought to my history of migraines - triggered by cold temperatures, too much sun, not enough sleep, missing a leal, hormones, eating specific foods. Frim 8yrs till 55yrs. I had a bad migraine after chemo and had no medication to deal with it as its13yrs since last painful migraine. Kept having half hour naps during the night. A bit of fresh air and taking things easy plus food made for me by my daughter the next day sorted it out. Feeling great since with anti sickness meds from hospital and now self administered injections.
Hi Bravescholar Soooo sorry you lost your hair anyway. Must be hugely upsetting for you. They did tell me they will stop the cap if I lose too much, but they were pretty upbeat about it working. A lady sitting next to me had lost hers despite the cap though. I guess we can but try. You did everything you could. It’s just sh*t all this. Woman at the golf club who had it said her toenails have started dropping off 6 months later! To be honest my hair looks manky already, so it’s not all that keeping it. I am really doing it to speed re growth. The nurse did mention they don’t do cold capping with the T part of FEC-T because the infusion is too long (?need the bed for the next unfortunate). I was horrified! What’s the point in doing the first 3 then. Could some of you ask your teams what happens at your centres & let me know please? The woman I mentioned earlier was there with her husband who now has cancer, when I said how unlucky, she told me their son had it a while back too. I have headache, bright red/ hot face & a bit nauseous today, but nothing like Monday. Anyone know how long the sickly feeling takes to go? BBxx
Hi Sarah they told me to stay on domperidone/Ondacetron as I seem to be on top of it now, but I have just e-mailed the consultant & my clinical nurse specialist requesting a change to the sickness meds next time. I gave them a very detailed vomitathon, including hourly updates! Not pleasant reading, but I feel so desperate to avoid it all next time that I didn’t just want to rock up an hour before the next chemo & expect things to have magically changed. She will probably think I’m a right pain, but then she wasn’t there on Monday night.
how are you? BBxx
Hi girls just checking in with you all. First one down!!! Well I’m pleased to report so far so good ( sorry bibi!!). Cold cap was totally bearable. In fact I had it on an hour longer than I needed as they couldn’t find my consent form so had to wait for my onc to fax it over. So was on two hours before treatment!! The worst thing about it all was the four attempts to get the cannula in. By the second I thought I was going to faint so that was a bit dramatic. I felt like a wuss which is not the case at all. All in all was ok and met some lovely people who kept me right. Hope everyone is feeling good this evening. Let’s hope I’m this chipper tomorrow xxx
Fantastic news & no need to apologise. I am delighted you will avoid my fate on Monday. Also well done on the cold cap. I too found it much easier than expected. Maybe we are a bit lucky. All the best for later. xxx
Patient Power! Just had an e-mail back from the consultant saying she will ensure Emend is prescribed prior to chemo 2. I am delighted,
Lisa I had the 5 needle experience too . . They could get them in, but the veins kept blowing up when they tried to put the stuff in. I am having a port fitted next Fri in time for round 2. I think the nurses are relieved. Me too!!
All the best BBxx
Great news re Emend, Bibi! But, my god, what with the veins it really is one step forward and one back. I had a lovely day today - even played a set of tennis in my wig! - then had a major meltdown at home later when i spotted two friends/neighbours chatting outside the house with my husband and i couldn’t bring myself to join them cos they hadn’t seen me in a headscarf before.
That’s great news bibi it must be such a relief but make sure you have the other anti sickness tablets aswell as emend. Aww bravescholar I’ve just been to meet a couple of friends in our local pub. The rumour mill has gone round they are looking at my short hair looking a mess as I can’t straighten it! I will probably be bold next week and hope I can handle it. But we are strong ladies and if we can get through chemo surely we can get through anything xxxxx