I am new here so please excuse me. I was diagnosed with Grade1, lymph node clear in October. Having had a wide local excision they found two lumps, one grade 2 and another grade 3, plus the cancer had snuck round the back door to other lymph nodes. I am booked in Thursday to have the nodes cleared. To say I have fallen apart is an understatement, I was coping because I thought it was grade1. I now also have to have chemo. Anyone else starting chemo in January? And as terrified as me? Thank you
Hi Pippa47
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I starting at the end of dec .23 rd . I think it terifys all of us . I had a grade three tumour and three other tumours removed . I also had twenty lymph nodes test postive fir cancer out if 24 so had lymph node clearance too .its horrible finding out its grade three . I don’t know anyone yet who was diagnosed grad three and not worried . They always find out more after the operation as they can really see whats going in then and test the tumours more thoroughly . Have you been assigned a breast care nurse ? I find mine excellent to talk too. I also just been refered to a psychologist too as i really fall apart at times about it all. H.xx
Hi Pippa
If you look at the Monthly Chemo Threads section of the forum you will see a thread started entitled Post Xmas Chemo Starters. Come and join us!
Sorry to hear that your original diagnosis turned out to be incorrect. Unfortunately this happens with quite a few of us. Despite all the tests, scans and biopsies it isn’t until they operate that they get the full picture.
Mine started off as a 1 cm lump with nodes clear to being 5.5 cm with 5 nodes affected.
We are all terrified but this forum will give you the support and answers you need.
Maggie x
Hi Pippa I start chemo on 30th December - diagnosed with grade III on 20th November and its looking like a long long road ahead. I have been through a range of emotions in the 2 weeks since diagnosis from positivity, to shock, to exceptional tiredness, to brief falshes of anger (I asked for genetic testing & double mastectomy in 2011 for family history and was refused), to panic and terror… and am now in up n down weepiness 
But this too shall pass… I have decided to keep holiday brochures on my coffee table and mentally plan where I will be booking when the worst of it is over, until then friends, family and this forum help 
The terror will pass…
Karen x
Hi Karen - I know what you mean! Am finding the whole Christmas card business a nightmare - whom to tell and how etc. Steeling myself now for the resultant upset from others and "terrible news - cannot believe it of you - always superfit etc etc " type of comments which will I know be a bit of a challenge. Annie x
I only told close friends and family, but once it became Grade 3 and chemo I put it in facebook, i couldn’t face saying it over and over. I’m not putting it Christmas cards, it’s not a happy message. Christmas decks went up when I thought it was grade 1 and I was positive. Have up and down times, sometimes terrified that it has spread and other times feeling better than I have done in ages (bit weird I know considering). Been discussing wigs/ scarfs with my 8 year old daughter, we are going to go shopping together. Really looking forward to next Christmas and this will all be in the past, I shall enjoy EVERYTHING so much more. I have my daughters school Christmas concert on Tuesday, she is in the choir and plays recorder - I shall be sobbing. Good luck to everyone on here. xxx
Sounds similar to me ladies - long journey ahead and huge fear of the unknown so trying to prepare & get my head round the bits I can control ie hair being cut short after xmas for chemo/cold cap starting on 30th - appointment for wig fitting booked for Monday just in case - had eyebrows and eyeliner tattooed on last week as my birthday present to me - last dental appointment to sort out overdue root canal this week - flu jab booked - childcare in place - going comfy clothes/PJ shopping and a quick trip to chemo unit so I know how to get there etc this week - it’s like a mission, educating myself about treatment, side effects, how to minimise these etc. It’s like a scary exhausting emotional roller coaster…
H I’m usually the strong one, the achiever, the organiser, the one who gives support and who raises money each year for charity - healthy, fit, busy, superwoman… Yet here I am crying, all over the place, scared & trying to be brave - it’s exhausting!
And unless you have been here/are going through it, people don’t fully understand… A few good friends when I’ve said I’m utterly exhausted have asked if I’ve started the chemo yet… One day at a time
Karen x
Enjoy your Christmas dinner hun… Thinking of you and right with you re the exhaustion xxx
Hey ladies, I sitting reading the posts and can relate to it all. I have grade 3 tumour 4 cms and another one grade 2 1.5 cms, with cancer in my lymph node. I am starting off on chemo then probably a mastectomy. I have had my flu jags and going to dentist tomorrow.
Ive not got a date yet for chemo but know its anytime between now and 26 December. I have purchased a bandana. For the life of me I cant imagine wearing it. My emotions are all over the place. Yes its going to be a long hard journey but one which we can share with each other and get as much support as possible. Im going shopping for comfy clothes today and warm socks.! Good luck to you all xx
I get my lymph nodes removed Thursday, and feel like I have to wait an age for the results because of christmas and new year. I’m really not looking forward to it. Sometimes feels like it isn’t me this is happening to, and other times I am totally crushed by all that lies ahead. This is totally terrifying. I hadn’t thought about the flu jab, better get one booked for after op. 2015 is going to be a strange year. It is shocking how many people are going through this.
Hi.
Diagnosed with grade 2 ductal invasive mid October.
Had surgery mid Nov with SNB.
unfortunately gotta have chemo and then axillary clearance.
Just received start date. 2nd Jan.
Happy New Year eh.
The ladies on site are great.
You are not alone. I think evryone naturally falls apart with such news.
Then you learn to deal with it bit by bit…
Day by day.
Hoping tpo have a nice Christmas then to deal with the next stage.
I have 6 sessions of FEC T then surgery then radio and Tamixifen 5 years.
Take care.
x
Murphy, your post made me chuckle, I am also a nurse and proving a dreadful and impariemt patient!!
We have started a post Xmas chemo starter thread on the monthly threads so hope,to meet some of you ladies there too
Sam xx
This is the worst roller coaster ride ever. 48 hours till lymph node removal, feeling sick with nerves, and have a horrendous wait for results because of christmas and new year. Had my 8 year old daughters school Christmas concert today, sobbed. First time I have seen a large group of friends since my diagnosis and the looks of pity - not good being on the receiving end. I hope you are all having some moments in the day when you are feeling positive. I like to think of springtime - lighter days and getting warmer, we will all be part way through and can hopefully enjoy some spring sun. Wishing you all a good Christmas, hard I know but I am not going to let it spoil my favourite time of year.
Good luck Helen with your results. One day at a time.
Anyone having their fisrt session of chemoon 2nd January ?
There is a big gang of us starting 6-8 Jan. We are on the post Xmas chemo starters thread. Xx
Hi
It is technically possible to merge 2 threads. It might be best to post on the “post Xmas starters” thread to check they would like this to happen as well.
Very best wishes
Janet
BCC Moderator
Yes - good idea to merge the two threads. Annie