I have not had the easiest of cancer journeys; had a six week infection after surgery, got neutropenic sepsis on round 1 of chemo and then had allergic reaction to Epirubicin on round 4, skin breakdown and infection from radiotherapy.
This has left me feeling somewhat cursed regarding treatment and I seem not to feel very anxious and depressed and struggling to adapt to life. I haven’t yet started taking tamoxifen as feeling that will have some terrible effect as well. I have put myself down for counselling but am so anxious and depressed that I am drinking more than I would like to calm nerves, and then of course fearful I’m fuelling more cancer Anyone having similar struggles?
@newbie1 - I think we all feel anxious after treatment for various reasons. It’s understandable given what’s happened to you that you’re wary of taking the tamoxifen - but perhaps you could try it and see how it goes? The side effects could be minimal and then the additional anxiety around recurrence will at least be reduced as you will be taking something to actively suppress your hormones and hopefully prevent your cancer from returning. If the side effects are awful then you can stop taking it and look at an alternative. Try and focus on a day at a time - you can do this x
I think we all feel anxious, I know I do, scared of getting secondary cancer. I haven’t taken the Tamoxifen so I’m in constant conflict with myself about that. I had my 6 week follow up after my radiotherapy & she asked about the Tamoxifen. She put my details in & it came up with a 1-3% better chance if I took Tamoxifen, so that eased the anxiety slightly. I’ll have to face it, if it happens. I don’t sleep well either so it’s on my mind all the time.
Unfortunately anxiety seems to be part of the new “normal”. For me it’s all about figuring out ways to keep on top of it so that it doesn’t become all-consuming. Hopefully you get some counselling arranged soon as sometimes just saying it all out loud can help! I’d also recommend a Moving Forward Course.
Be kind to yourself xx
As @LynneHM suggested I would also recommend the Moving Forwards course . Unlike you I didn’t need chemo but my journey to recovery wasn’t a smooth one either and I found myself getting really angry , fixating on things that had gone wrong or weepy and it’s a common theme actually because while ever we are going to appointments and having treatments it’s just one day at a time and all your energy goes into your physical recovery and it’s only afterwards that you really start to process it all - and you have had a really rough time by the sound of it.
I can understand after reacting to the other treatments that you are wary of having anything else but maybe you should talk it through with your BCN. If you have been offered a Holistic Needs Assessment it’s worth having that as well . If there’s a local BC support group you could go to then that might help you as well . Xx
So sorry that you are feeling so low, but as others have said you are not alone. You’ve been through a lot and have to come to terms with the new you.
I’ve been having counselling at Maggie’s and it’s really helped both to talk through my fears and anxieties and to understand why I feel this way. She’s given me strategies to cope when things are difficult. It’s a long journey to get to the new normal and to feel comfortable in your new body. You also have a lot of physical healing which takes it toll on our mental health too. Baby steps is the key. Listen to your mind and body and don’t do too much too soon. Take each day as it comes and celebrate even the smallest of achievements. I hope that the counselling helps and you feel better soon. x
Hi @ newbie1, you are most definately not alone here with post treatment worries! I was in a right old state. However, I recently did Moving Forward and found it helpful. I also walked into my local Maggies to talk to someone which was immensely helpful. They also loaned me a copy of the book The Cancer Survivors Companion which helped a lot. I wish you well with love from Tulip x
I was diagnosed with grade t3 nst breast cancer in August in right breast. The tumour is 2 leissons measuring 5cm in total. Was told it was treatable started.on letrozole nearly a month ago.had some side effects aching joints hot flushes.then told me they would perform a mastectomy but would benefit from chemotherapy.not had yet feel like they have railroaded me into treatment didn’t even ask if i wanted the treatment? They just assumed.it seems a very.long road to take chemo for six months then surgery then who knows?
Anyone having similar struggles?