Apointment in 9 days, so scared

Hi all,

I have an appointment in 9 days and im so constantly worried, I dont know how im going to get through the wait!

Im convinced that i do have breast cancer or if not even secondary breast cancer.

The doctors werent even keen on reffering me, ive been to the GP twice - the only symptoms i had was pain in my breast/armpit/collarbone. However ive gone into a state of panic as on the affected side my arm has swollen slightly and i have a small raised bump between my knuckles on that hand. Ive been reading and if the lymph nodes are affected then this can cause this and i just think the chances of having this pain mixed with the swelling must been this! And if the lymph nodes are affected then this is even worse.

I have a 6 and 1 year old and im 30 and i just feel sick to my stomach day and night. My partner is supportive but does think im over panicking as i do have a tendancy to do this.

I guess i just needed to share as i feel quite alone.



I know it’s awful, the non knowing makes your brain go slightly mad, I had a big lump and was so convinced it was in all my body…it wasn’t… it was localised and treatable, try to keep busy to distract your brain, you will feel so much better when you know what is what. I googled mine which was a bad idea…m try not to do that. There are lots of things other than cancer, and treatment is good. Whether we have cancer or not we just need to make the most of every day, i hope it goes well for you, try to be positive and not stress to much. Xx


Hi Sjc,
It’s good that you’ve reached out on here. Obviously I can’t know whether you have or haven’t got breast cancer so it’s good that you’ve been referred and it will be good to get it all checked. :heartpulse:
It sounds encouraging that your doctor didn’t think you needed a referral so he/she isn’t concerned which is good. But it’s also good that you pushed for a referral all the same because it sounds like you need to get it checked.
Honestly, I think that my brain can be very clever (and annoying!:joy:) because I have found that my pain levels rocket when I’m anxious. I have been convinced my breast cancer had spread everywhere and I was genuinely feeling pain in all sorts of places. Thankfully it hadn’t spread and has been treated. So, I’m hoping that, for you, there’ll be nothing untoward going-on and that your pain levels and symptoms will reduce once you’ve had the tests.
Wishing you all the very best and let us know how you get on x


You have done the right things so far but it might be nothing. One important thing if it is Cancer is to be positive. Set yourself little goals that you work towards. Things you are going to do with the children. my youngest was 5 and asked if I was going to die. I told her I was going too see her go to Prom which I did and I’m now Grandma to a 3 1/2 year old.
When my Lympe node was cancerous I had no pain but when my treatment was stopped for a month I was in the worst pain ever taking Oxycodone 3 times a day. As soon as I had my first dose of new treat my pain disappeared.
It really is Mind over Matter.
Good luck with your appointment and keep us informed.


Hello there

Just to say that waiting is awful - I remember and I sympathise . There are many other posts on this forum to attest to this . Keep busy and try to get some pleasure out of your days if you can - do something you can get immersed in that will help you forget for an hour or two. If you have a really good friend talk to them ( but don’t make the mistake I did of telling too many people ) .

Stay away from Dr. Google - not helpful right now . Sorry that you had such a going on to get an appointment and I hope everything turns out well for you .
Keeping my fingers crossed
Joanne. X


Lots of people going to breast clinics are the worried well, so you won’t be alone if you go there. It’s a shame the appointment is quite a long way away so you need to keep yourself busy until then. This shouldn’t be too difficult with young children to look after. If possible get some help with them so you can go out and do something enjoyable for yourself. I went to barbie the movie in the afternoon recently on my own and it was terrible and far too long so I wouldn’t recommend that! If you do get diagnosed with breast cancer it’s not usually a death sentence these days. I’ve had it twice in the last twenty years and I am still alive and kicking. I appreciate the joys of life more but understand no one lives forever. I’ve had quite a few operations on my breast and survived them, plus other cancer treatment and it’s easier doing it than thinking about it. Also they can’t make you do anything. You have to read about it, you can get second opinions. If you really don’t want anything you can say no to everything. Or some of it depending on your views. At 30 you are young to get it if you are diagnosed with it. The incidence of breast cancer between 30 and 39 is 2.5% of the populatio of all women in this age group (I seem to remember it doubles every ten years e,.g. 40-50 is 5%, 60-70 10% etc. So it’s rare. I think statistics are ok up to a point but if you are one of the 2.5% the overall statistics don’t mean anything except you are one of the unlucky ones!


Thank you all so much for your kind words and advice. Its nice to know of others experiencing the same. My head has never been in a worse place.

I absolutely do google loads so im definately trying to stop that. Im trying hard to be positive but it is very difficult.

I will certainly keep you all updated xx


My appointment was moved to today! The consultant didnt even want to scan me he said i am all fine and he thinks my arm is muscular. I pushed for a scan of my armpit, totally normal. Im so beyond relieved. I cant thank you all enough for your words of support :heart: they really helped me through a dark time. All the best to you all xx


EXCELLENT news, enjoy life with your lovely little family

B8ggest hugs Tili :rainbow::pray::rainbow::pray:


Thanks very much sjc123 It’s good to know you have a clean bill of health. See if you can get some help with your children and get a bit of fun in your life just for you. I think your fears may come from loneliness. Look at this worry as a symptom that you need to get some support. I know a lot of people have told me they found looking after small children very much more difficult than they thought it would be. I don’t have any children but I have observed this of others. As a seagull I have chicks of course and I boot them out of the nest no problem. They wander round clueless for ages and usually get eaten or run over. That solves a lot. I have another three each year for 25 years. So I replace them annually.


That’s fantastic news! So pleased for you! :heart_eyes: x

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Hello. I am really happy to hear all is well. The reason I am responding is I have very similar symptoms for over a year now. I’ve had a breast exam, a mammogram, my doctor checked my armpit for lumps and found none, and I’ve had an ultrasound of both breasts and armpits. All negative. However, I still have the armpit, arm, and hand swelling, as well as armpit pain that radiates down my side and into my back at times. My doctor also said it was coming from my shoulder but I honestly don’t buy it.
I have dense breasts which can be an issue when it comes to screening tests missing things. We’re you given any advice as to what to do about your symptoms and if you don’t mind me asking, how long have you had them? I’m going out of my mind with worry that something was missed and on top of it all, my mom has terminal lung cancer so I’ve been handling all her affairs as well.


Awful news about your mother and lung cancer. That and worries about your own health is too much. I have to look after my mother who has Alzheimer’s and today I tried to get her to a dentist that said it had disabled access, as she’s 96 and has all sorts of health problems. I also had to arrange a minibus to carry her in a wheelchair and an escort. When we arrived there were steps everywhere, nowhere nearby to park with the minivan. Just nothing. So I feel for you with your mom and terminal lung cancer. I had dense breast tissue and nothing showed up on mammograms but they found out once they took out the lump I found. If you don’t have a lump it’s not likely to be breast cancer. Also it’s uncommon in women under the age of 50. The profile of the typical woman is a person in late middle age, no children, lots of periods over their life span, and tall. Weird combination. I was in the next bed to a nun in her 70s when I went into hospital for breast surgery. She wasn’t as tall as I was though (I am 5ft 8ins). Being a bit overweight and drinking to excess also makes you more likely to develop it… Do any of these risk factors apply to you? I had also got a history of visits to breast clinics with breast pain. This pains can be caused by unstable cells in the breast - so I was diagnosed with atypical hyperplasia, that means I had abnormal cells developing not cancer exactly but something that could have led to cancer. I was about 38 years old at this point but I didn’t get told this was a possible pre cancerous condition. At least that meant I didn’t worry when I found a lump when I was 47. I’d say if you get breast pain get that investigated. I wasn’t anxious maybe I should have been! I am anxious now as I feel they don’t tell you the truth. As they want you to have a positive attitude. I will never have one, but positive or not it all comes down to chemistry - cells divide at a molecular level so can’t be seen until there are lots of them so they get detected quite late on in the cancer process and at that point might have been there for years and years without being seen! So why worry about something that you can’t possibly be certain about? A huge randomised controlled trial was done in China years ago comparing breast self examination with people finding their lumps through luck. It proved breast self examination made no difference to death from breast cancer. Early detection made no difference to deaths from breast cancer, there were more lumps removed in the breast self exam group but no lives saved as a lot of lumps which got removed were either benign or would never have killed anyone. The really bad breast cancers grow quickly and are not as amenable to treatment as slow growing ones.

Treatments are better than they were but there’s still a lot of luck involved. So I choose not to have much belief in Doctors. As long as they follow national guidance and give you the standard treatment for the biochemistry of your kind of breast cancer you will get the best consistent care available now.

Hi Seagulls. Thank you for your response. I have been the primary caretaker for my mom since my dad passed 10 years ago. She’s had heart problems for years which is how her lung cancer was discovered. She had chemo and surgery almost two years ago, did well for a year, and then a CT scan discovered it had returned so she tried Keytruda which made her diabetes go crazy so she went back on chemo. Several hospitalizations later due to congestive heart failure it was discovered that the chemo was doing nothing and the cancer was advancing so we had to move her to hospice as we all work full time. Anyway, back to my concerns. So I am 57 and post menopausal. All my symptoms started when my periods stopped a year ago. When I first felt the breast and armpit pain I went to my gynecologist who did a breast exam and didn’t find anything so sent me for a mammogram. Mammogram was negative but armpit pain and breast pain persisted so I went to my internist who examined my armpit rather vigorously and said he felt no swollen lymph nodes or any lumps. My shoulder had joined the party by then and he thought my pain and swelling was due to my shoulder issue so he gave me a cortisone shot. Shoulder is somewhat better but everything else is the same so back I went and asked for an ultrasound. Results were again negative for both breast and armpits. Nothing abnormal detected. That was about three weeks ago. Also had blood work during all this which showed hypothyroidism so I’ve been put on thyroxine. Pain and swelling persists but waxes and wanes in intensity. I don’t really know what to do next. Something is obviously wrong but so far no one can find it. I’m afraid the stress of my mom’s terminal illness and my unknown issues may kill me soon.


@anxious66 Bless you, its so worrying isn’t it. I’ve had my symptoms for a few months- do you do any lifting or repetative motions? Im starting to think mine is down to carrying my heavy one year old putting him in his car seat etc, so maybe something like this for you? I know its hard but i think at some point you need to trust the medical professionals, but i can understand why some may not agree with this. The doctor wasnt any help regarding my symptoms, however in my area we do have a breast pain clinic that was newly created for women with breast pain as its such a rare symptom to only get pain, so im now going to ask to get reffered back there. Maybe there is something like this in your area? Obviously im no professional but from an outsider looking in i think its a very low chance you have it but i completely understand your worries. Im starting anxiety medication because i feel i am starting to become way to focussed on these things. Research health anxiety and you may even be able to be reffered on the nhs to therapy as my doctor mentioned this.

Perhaps if you pushed on down the road as a muscular/skeletal problems, ask for scans for this? Mri etc.

Lastly im so sorry about your mother i cannot imagine what you are going through. Perhaps being so closely affected by cancer is perhaps what isnt helping you with how youre feeling about your own health. My mum has had it in the past and therefore i think when youve witnssed it first hand its alot harder to ‘switch off’ from it like the rest of the population.

All the best too you sorry if this wasnt much help xx

I read a book about CBT and anxiety recently and was reassured that worry and stress doesn’t tend to kill you. Heart disease does, and so does cancer if it’s terminal. So your poor mother is going to die of cancer if she doesn’t have some other surprise illness or accident instead. I feel for you because you are so miserable about your mother, you have thyroid deficiency which isn’t going to help as thyroid controls mood. I remember my mother having an overactive thyroid when I was a child, which made her extremely ill, then she had most of her thyroid removed if not all of it and she is now 96 and has to take replacement thyroid tablets and has all sorts of side effects from having too little thyroid. She has osteoporosis too, but then she is nearly 97 now. I feel thoroughly miserable about her, and her life, with teeth falling out, but I can only do my best for her. I had a really wasted day yesterday as I’d fixed up a visit to a dentist who said they had disabled access but there were steps inside the old building where it was and the home provided staff who decided it was too dangerous for my mother to go down them. There was nothing I could do, even though I thought my mother would definitely have been fit enough to go up and down them. I wasn’t going to persuade them. So good bye to the dentist. I can’t allow myself to get stressed out about things I have no control over. I know some days I feel like jumping up and down and screaming, and that sometimes helps amazingly ! But I know this is not going to kill me and that things will end. My mother will at some point die, I won’t like that any better, so I just do my best while she’s here and give her the best life I can given her situation. I admire you for doing the same despite your low mood. Good luck Seagulls

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sjc123 - thank you for your reply. Besides being left handed and therefore using my left arm all the time ( the pain is on the left side) there’s nothing that I do repeatedly that would cause my symptoms. I remember the days of kids and car seats but I’m way past that ( sons are 31 and 26). I’m in the US so we don’t have clinics like you have with the NHS. We have specialists for each type of care, for example, a gynecologist for breast exams, Pap smears, ordering mammograms, delivering babies, etc. I’ve been to both my gynecologist and what you would refer to as a GP and I still have no answers. I have done too much research so now I know that some cancers aren’t seen during regular screening, especially with dense breasts. I’ve also yet to come across anyone with symptoms that really match mine ( you are the closest) but there has to be a reason for this ongoing pain and swelling. I suppose I’ll need to see what other tests can be done. I just need to get to the bottom of this pain. It’s all I think about. My mother having cancer of course doesn’t help and I do suffer health anxiety - but really only related to cancer as the treatments are so brutal and I’ve not seen they work very often. In any event, I hope your pain has subsided and again, thank you for listening.

Sjc123, Your anxiety is understandable but don’t turn a film in your own head. Even if your worst fears are true, treatment exists and you will be taken care of. In the meantime, put it in the back of your head and try going forward. Sending lots of positive energy your way …

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