I thought I had my fear of recurrence under control but this past week it has overwhelmed me - I’m 3 weeks away from my two year mammogram, and results will be by post 2-3 weeks after. This anxiety is making me feel utterly sick. On holiday right now, and I know I’m quiet….i don’t want to offload to family and spoil what has been a lovely break.
Every photo I see of myself on this holiday I’m imagining it being used for my funeral.
Trying desperately to get back in check.
Thanks for listening.
Diagnosed Aug 24, inv lobular , no nodes, ER/PR + HER-
I hear you and the power of the mind is incredibly powerful. It’s all valid concerns, but it doesn’t mean it’s going to happen. I work with older people and the number of women who’ve had it and survived is phenomenal , and I’m talking years ago when there wasn’t much treatment options too. I’ve been terrible at times, thinking if i stop worrying and fully enjoy things, it will come back to bite me. It’s hard to explain to people who’ve not had to personally face it. I’ve got no wise words, except long term worry doesn’t get us anywhere . Acknowledge it, and try and park it at least for a couple of hours. Xxx
I lost my younger sister to TNBC (she was diagnosed at Stage IV) and I have had lots of support to help me separate our diagnoses. Some days are harder than others and I’m very aware much of my fear comes from her story not mine.
I’m so sorry to hear that. At times, in our minds, feel like our fate is a done deal, can’t it. My mum died of it at 59, i’m 51. But I am a different person. I’m back tomorrow at the hospital for a recall, and I spent a day down a rabbit hole of constantly looking on forums/sites for similar situations and what the outcomes were, but everyone is different, and i look back to how much time i spent last year doing the same thing before i knew the actual facts with my specific case. And i think to myself all the time of reading, worry, anxiety, lack of self care, was i appreciate normal, but wasn’t helpful, and didn’t change anything. I really hope you have at least some peaceful happy moments of your holiday, your mind and body deserve it
What a fantastic photo! , I’ve never been to that part of Scotland, looks beautiful! That’s certainly brought a smile to me, I’m off to do more old people’s feet, not great in the heat especially with plastic gloves and aprons xx
Scanxiety is absolutely crippling. I hear you loud and clear. I wonder how doing some mindfulness might help? It might calm the mind and distract it from ruminating. Try your best to enjoy your holiday. I know that’s easier said than done. xxx
Thank you for asking, it did. They did a 3D mammogram and ultrasound and they said it all looked normal, and the first mammogram must have just squashed tissue. I’m so relieved. I really hope you’ve been managing to not let the anxiety and worries intrude too much?
I live in Scotland and one of my favourite places to is the Outer Hebrides. Some of the best beaches in the world. I too have my second mammogram due in the next couple of months. The one infected was removed and I had 15 sessions of adjuvant radiotherapy. I keep wondering, as I was told I no longer have breast cancer 922 lymphnodes removed too, what might the outcome of the mammogram on the remaining one? I am 78 and told I am very healthy so fingers crossed. Worrying won’t change anything so live you’re best life.
Hi Jaygo. Lymph nodes are not just under the armpit. They are all over your body. In my case they were all across the front of my chest. Me holed out so no scaring
xx
Sorry for the dyslexic typing.