Everyone in my family was devestated I had a double. Wow, big deal. Now repair them?
I am just now going through the emotional drama of having the cancer. The last thing I want to do is go into surgery again. We liver overseas and my husband has 2 years until retirement and all anyone seems to care about is when I’m going to have reconstruction done.
I just am happy to be alive, not some pimped up porn star.
Lis
Sod everyone else you have to do what makes you happy. Personally I wanted my recon to balance myself up. Thankfully not looking like a porn star just reasonably normal.
If you’re happy in your own skin then stay as you are, a lot of people wait a few years or never have it done. Others that haven’t been through it probably just think it’s what happens when all the other treatment finishes and it’d make you happy or something.
Em
Lis, I had a double mastectomy about 16 months ago. I’m 46 and I’m not having a reconstruction. I’m happy wearing my prostheses and I certainly don’t want the kind of major and lengthy surgery that a double recon would entail.
It’s an individual decision and absolutely nothing to do with those around you. It’s not like a little bit of plastic surgery - it’s much more major than that. I did talk it over with my husband though who was completely in agreement with the decision.
I’ve found the best thing is not to talk about at all with anyone - they won’t even know for sure what you’ve done that way. If anyone brings it up again, I’d say politely ‘can we please talk about something else’ - I doubt they’d raise it again.
take care, Elinda
The only time I wear prosthesis is when the sub comes in. To strap a bra around my scars is painful and slide two B cups in is not worth the effort. I prefer to walk about flat as a board and all the neighbors just know 
Guess the only people judging are the people that love ya.
Lis
Hi luckylis,its a very personal choice isn’t it.I am 48 was 45 at diagnosis I didn’t have mastectomy but a partial/central mastectomy and my boobs are now very uneaven I have chicken fillet lol to put in my bra it still looks a bit smaller but i’m not bothered by it and am happy with this.There are women on here who haven’t opted for recon and I’m sure they will post soon.I think if I were younger or single I may have looked at things differently.
Good luck and wishing you well for the future Melxx
I had a single mx and doubt I will have a recon. Like Lis I rarely wear a bra, although I’m only a b cup.
My OH was very supportive of recon, so much so that I thought he had an issue with my body. He was just trying to help me and when we discussed the implications of the very major surgery that recon involves he supported my decision not to recon.
Maybe meet with a plastic surgeon, just to realise how much work is involved and give you and your husband a bit of peace of mind that it is not straight forward op at all.
I met with a plastic surgeon last year when I was back in the States. The only option for me is a Tramflap for which my “family” decided is too drastic of a measure to take. (I’m 40 btw). My dad did not want my stomach muscles ripped up.
Looking into a DIEP but it’s expensive, it’s not where I have a place to stay (TX or LA) and I have two small children that will be in tow 
It sounds like your surgery is relatively recent? I didn’t wear my prosthesis until about 6 months after the surgery as i was quite sore with that and the radiotherapy.
I prefer wearing my prostheses now as it gives me a better self image but I would go out without.
Perhaps give yourself a bit of time. There’s so much to get through emotionally with the cancer and the whole healing process. You could say I’m not going to even think about any of this for 6 months to stop you worrying about it.
I had the LD flap, the result is very natural, I opted for no implant and certainly don’t look like a porn star! LOL! But it was immediate recon and a lengthy op. I also have young children but found the recovery very manageable I agree with the other comments, it’s your decision alone.
Had the double Dec 1, 2008. Radiation ended Feb, 2009.
Probably should get rid of the underwire 
ouch.
Read alot on successful reconstruction (thx Tina I just have to make the call and fly back. Hard to do when comfy 18 hours away :).
Tina, did you have both done or one? I think from discussions I’ve had with doctors and helpline that having the two done is a big deal and amounts to two 8 or 9 hour operations plus there’s having to find fat or muscle from somewhere to construct two breasts.
Most people think a recon is a relatively easy procedure. I was guilty of that too before I was diagnosed. I was offered an immediate reconstruction when I was diagnosed and I went to see a recon nurse to discuss the options. I thought she was very pessimistic but my husband thought she was realistic. When I realised what was involved I decided to have the mastectomy and decide later whether to have a recon. Two years later I haven’t had a recon and I don’t think I ever will. I think of it as slicing up other parts of my body to make a breast.
Everyone has to decide what is best for them and do what they want.
Love
Maude xx
/nod Maude…I did not have the spacers put in as the radiologist thought it would hurt his treatment.
Right move? hope so At that point in time, the goal was to cure the cancer growth, not worry about the physical implications.
Lis, try a bra without underwire you may be very pleasantly surprised. I was an F cup before surgery but opted for B cup prostheses for lightness. I don’t find the bra digs in at all and I hardly notice it. Presumably you have the proper prostheses too? I didn’t find the softies very comfortable and preferred to go without as the bra kept riding up.
I just had my right side done, both sides I can only imagine is a big big op and would take a longer recovery. My op was 8 hours and I was in hospital for 7 days. There is significant scarring on the back and I am having further revision surgery in a couple of weeks. Good luck to all!
yes, Elinda, the prosthetics feel great…my daughter loves squishing them lol.
problem is probably the size of the bra. I was alot thinner during this and was told to gain some weight for the stomach job. No problem! however, the bras are way too tight now hehe.
ah, could be that! Just a thought, but perhaps loved ones find seeing you without your prostheses (or breasts) is a reminder to them of your cancer.
Good luck with your decision and take care, Elinda
Yes they are most definitely important to me , and i do not intend to look like a porn star either!
I had a single mastectomy, i was 38 and it was a big deal for me.
I have had an implant put in on that side, and am going to have the other side done in two weeks -lifted and implanted - cannot wait!
It is of course a totally individual choice and everyone feels different regarding their chest and how it looks/feels…
I’m not saying that my chest isn’t important or that I like the way it looks. In an ideal world I’d love a pair of breasts but after a double mastectomy it is weighing up the amount of surgery, where the tissue will come from etc. Also for me the risk of lymphodema as I had axillary clearance. I never thought I’d feel okay about not having breasts and I do. It’s amazing how we adapt!