At a loss after treatment

I finished RT treatment last week, after Stage 1 IDC with surgery in Sept.  Now on Tamoxifen.  I feel like I should be happy and jolly that it is all over.  My treatment has been fantastic, speedy and slick, despite the pandemic. But I just feel lost and isolated.  How have others coped with the feelings of isolation, sense of loss, cancer anger and “what now” feelings?  Did others dread going back to work? 

Thanks for anyone who can offer suggestions. Not posted before. 

First of all, well done you. You may not feel like it’s any great shakes but it is. Think what you’ve been through! Second, welcome to the forums. It’s a helpful place to be. Like you, I didn’t have the slightest wish to ring that blooming bell because, with all the hassle of hormone therapy plus an additional treatment, it wasn’t all over. And that I think is the problem. There are constant reminders of all the fear, anxiety, discomfort, illness, pain - whatever anyone experiences - yet that’s it, hospital casts us adrift.

There is an excellent article which one of the nurses posted once and I’ve kept track of:

I hope you find something in it to help. I personally think what you describe is a normal, healthy response to a huge trauma and it’s important to acknowledge the negative feelings so you can move on. Breast Cancer Haven are offering free online courses at the moment, including EFT that may shift some of the negativity, and lots of feelgood things like meditation that can give us a break. I find it helpful just being in the company of people who understand the moment I say I feel angry or I feel stuck, if only for an hour on Zoom. There’s also the MacMillan?Breast Cancer Now course, Moving On/Forward/whatever, which might be of interest. Normally it’s a day in company but I believe it’s run via Zoom right now. It might be worth waiting and then attending one with real people once the vaccination programme is well established.

All the best, Jan x

I hope you find something to help you move o .

Hi Pandabear - a big welcome to this lovely forum from me too, I’m so glad you’ve found it and hope that you will find it a good source of support, somewhere to offload and to get advice.

I’m also glad that Jan has been on to post the link to that article already, that is well worth reading.

What you are feeling is very normal. While I was having treatment I was warned about feeling cast adrift once treatment finished and I was no longer having regular appointments. I didn’t understand what that meant until suddenly I had my lasts radiotherapy and I was on my own. Like suddenly having the stabilisers taken off your first bike I guess. There are lots of chats on here about the same feelings, so although that doesn’t help immediately I hope you will feel reassured that you are not alone in feeling as you do.

I felt as though I had lost all my confidence to do things on my own - even going to the supermarket again, but step by step you will start doing normal things again. Give yourself time, time to heal and grieve, and for your body to recover. I had some counselling after a while because I just couldn’t get back to where I wanted to be, so that might be something to look into. Or chat away on here - or you might like to call the nurses (number at the top of the page), or speak to someone on the “Someone Like Me” service. Or I am happy to chat more anytime if you would like. Sending hugs, Evie xx