I am preparing myself for losing a breast, because that is likely going to happen. I find it difficult, it looks so good now, perfect, hard to believe it has to go.
Today I went to the Mey games, these are small Highland Games but special because we always get a Royal visit (Prince Charles). This year there were men and women participating from the Invictus games, you know, disabled servicemen in wheel chairs and with missing limbs. Tough and strong looking guys in kilts throwing hammers and tree trunks, but with rods instead of legs. It was inspiring, I thought, if they can make it work what should I worry about a breast?
Hi
Yes, of course, there is always someone worse off than you. And it is amazing what people can deal with.
But, it is still part of you, and you will have to cope with possible physical and mental trauma.
Be kind to yourself and take one day at a time.
Best wishes
Sue xx
I really like your attitude and I agree with you - there are people out there with what I would consider a more serious disability than losing a breast. Losing a breast would be psychological shock and a temporary disability to my womanhood - but a breast can be rebuilt and then I would be able to go back to almost everything I did before.
My thoughts are that the people in the event you went to today either never had a “normal” life or will never return to the life they had before their disability, correct? Some of them don’t walk, can’t bathe or shower by themselves, can’t have a sexual relationship.
So I don’t think that I would have the bigger problem, compared to what they have to deal with.
Sorry to hear about your circumstances. I wanted to echo what Sue has said below. I also think that it is great that you drew positive and constructive inspiration for yourself from watching the participants with disabilities.
That is great if you were able to manage your mastectomy and condition in the way you describe below:
“Losing a breast is a psychological shock and a temporary disability to our womanhood - but a breast can be rebuilt and then we can go back to almost everything we did before.”
In my opinion, you need to replace the words “our” and “we” with “my” and “I” as you are speaking for yourself and not all of “womanhood”.
My opinion is that people may have conditions deemed worse (which also can be quite subjective) but that should not be used to try and negate or dismiss the experience of others."
I think it is great that the physical replacement had such a beneficial impact for you and you can just get on with your life again now as before BC. I am very envious that you have managed to be so unaffected by the whole BC experience.
Hi Ladies
I think it would be naive to think that once having reconstruction you are then ‘over it’.
Having bc has changed me, and I can never go back to the way I was before. I may look OK on the outside. It is not that noticeable that one breast is slightly bigger than the other. No one can see my physical scars, and my hair has grown back. But, I can’t be that carefree person anymore. Every ache and pain, and every lump or bump, will always, in my mind be something to worry about. I’m not saying that I think about it all the time. It’s just there, in the back of my head, and that will never go.
I agree that if you can dismiss the impact of bc, then I envy you. But, sadly, I don’t think it’s that easy.
Sue xx
I am of the same opinion as yourself. BC and the aftermath has affected many things.
If someone is saying that they hace remained relaticely unaffected due to the power of reconstruction, then that is their experience at this time. I find it very odd, but it is not for me to say it is not the case for them if that is indeed their experience.
Regards, ?
Sorry to hear your story. What a rollercoaster for you. Have you got a surgery date yet/treatment plan? Are you hoping to have an immediare reconstruction?
Remember Angelina Jolie had a genetic link so preventative mastectomies. She did not have breast cancer.
I do not wish to upset you further but having a mastectomy does not reduce recurrence risk to 0. Recurrenxe can still occur.
Some women without genetic link have argued and been supported in having double mastectomy. The second mastectomy can occur at a later date and usually after counselling input.
If you are having a difficult time at the moment thinking about how it may affect you, it may be an idea to ring the helpline and ask to talk to “someone like me” - BCC volunteers willing to support others in similar situations.